Part 26 (1/2)

_ON EDINBURGH._

Pompous the boast, and yet a truth it speaks: A ”Modern Athens”--fit for modern Greeks.

JAMES HANNAY, _Sketches and Characters_.

Lord Andover, a very fat man, was greatly plagued at a fancy bazaar to buy some trifle or other from the ladies' stalls. At length he rather rudely said, ”I am like the Prodigal Son, persecuted by ladies.” ”No, no,” retorted Mrs. ----, ”say, rather, the fatted calf.”

B. R. HAYDON, _Diary_.

A quiet conscience makes one so serene!

Christians have burnt each other, quite persuaded, That all the Apostles would have done as they did.

LORD BYRON, _Don Juan_.

”Were you born in wedlock?” asked a counsel of a witness. ”No, sir, in Devons.h.i.+re,” was the reply.

HORACE SMITH, _The Tin Trumpet_.

Evanson, in his ”Dissonance of the Gospels,”

thinks Luke is most worthy of credence. P---- said that Evanson was a _luke_-warm Christian.

CRABB ROBINSON, _Diary_.

_ONE FOR HIM._

Reading the paper Laura sat, ”Greenwich _mean_ time, mamma, what's that?”

”My love, it's when your stingy Pa Won't take us to the Trafalgar.”

s.h.i.+RLEY BROOKS, _Wit and Humour_.

I was once as desperately in love as you are now.

I adored, and was rejected. ”You are in love with certain attributes,” said the lady. ”d.a.m.n your attributes, madam,” said I; ”I know nothing of attributes.” ”Sir,” she said, with dignity, ”you have been drinking.” So we parted. She was married afterwards to another, who knew something about attributes, I suppose. I have seen her once, and only once. She had a baby in a yellow gown. I hate a baby in a yellow gown!

_Berkley_, in LONGFELLOW's _Hyperion_.

A man has generally the good or ill qualities which he attributes to mankind.

SHENSTONE, _Essays_.

How doth the little crocodile Improve his s.h.i.+ning tail, And pour the waters of the Nile On every s.h.i.+ning scale!