Part 26 (1/2)

'Just thought we'd give our new Rover a bit of a spin, like, seeing as it's such a nice day,' Gertie said with a smirk (Fred was right).

Maud raised her eyebrows. This was not lost on Gertie. That's given her a bit of something to think about. How many people in Harwood had a car, let alone a Rover? That'd show her!

'Oh, you've got a new car then?'

'Oh, aye, Fred here's doing well in his business, aren't you Fred?'

Fred nodded. He felt b.l.o.o.d.y uncomfortable and all he wanted to do was to get Gertie out of this kitchen.

'Oh, and what might that be, Fred,' Maud said to Fred.

Oh, a bit of this and a bit of that,' he said, a bit evasively, Maud thought.

'Must be more than a bit,' she said.

'Oh, aye,' he said, still not looking at her.

A man of few words, Maud thought sarcastically. Poor b.u.g.g.e.r looks a bit lost. You could tell who was boss there.

Gertie looked round the kitchen. 'Where is everybody then? Is Grimsby still here?'

'Oh aye, but it's his day off and the other maids are upstairs doing some cleaning.

Gertie watched Maud carry on with her baking. Where was the tea she'd been promised: conveniently forgotten, obviously. Gertie's bad mood increased.

'And how's Lady Muck getting on?' she said, knowing this would annoy Maud.

'What?' Maud said sharply.

'You know, Lady Leah from Glebe Street. Lady Leah whose b.a.s.t.a.r.d brat I just saw walking up the drive with the other b.a.s.t.a.r.d.'

Maud stopped what she was doing, the colour rising in her face quicker than the dough rising on the oven.

'Now, that'll do, Gertie,' she said. 'If you've come to name call you can just be on your way quick smart.'

Gertie pursed her lips. Fred put his hand on Gertie's shoulder because he knew she was getting mad the way that little red feather sticking straight up from her hat was beginning to tremble. Gertie shook his hand off in irritation.

'I'm not saying anything that isn't true, Maud.'

'Aye, that might be, Gertie, but n.o.body's perfect and there's no need to bring up something that's been over and done with all these years,' Maud replied.

Why had this brazen b.i.t.c.h come back? Just to show off from the look of it and to rile her up. What a cheek to come back after Mrs. Townsend had sent her packing with a flea in her ear.

It seemed that nothing short of gagging would stop Gertie. She ignored Fred who was doing his best to pacify her. He patted her shoulder, tried to prise her off the chair (it was like getting an elephant to move), anything to get her to stop.

'Come on Gertie, love. Let's not have any trouble,' he said.

Gertie turned and gave him such a scathing look he stepped backwards. If looks could kill! As weak as dishwater, Gertie thought, but he's not going to stop me from having me say. She continued, pointedly ignoring Fred.

'That's true, that's true, Maud. People aren't perfect, but there's some that think they are and get away with blue murder as well. Leah Hammond's nothing but a s.l.u.t and look at the other one upstairs. We all know what went on there, don't we?'

Maud looked at Gertie's mean, fat face and suddenly her blood boiled (it was true then, blood could boil because she felt that hers was ready to boil right over onto that b.l.o.o.d.y horrible person sitting in front of her).

How dare this sly faced b.i.t.c.h come here like this and sit on her chair and say things like that! Maud's gaze fell on the row of dumplings lined up in front of her like neat, fat little soldiers. She picked one up and threw it at Gertie. It landed with a plop on the side of Gertie's red hat. The sticky lump stuck there like a big, white pimple.

Gertie jumped back as though she'd been shot (she had in a way, with a dumpling).

'Ee, now, what the h.e.l.l do you think you're doing?' she shouted, her face beginning to match her hat again.

Fred stepped back from Gertie in alarm. 'I'm off. I'm not putting up with this,' he said. 'Come on Gertie, let's get out of here.'

Gertie tried to pull the sticky mess off her hat. 'You b.i.t.c.h,' she yelled at Maud. 'This is a b.l.o.o.d.y new hat. Cost me a fortune.'

'Serves you right,' Maud said and threw another one, which hit Gertie squarely on the face. Then she let fly with another and another, pelting Gertie with the dumplings, which rained on Gertie like huge bird droppings. Plop, plop, plop, they went. Gertie ran to the door, trying to dodge the dumplings and jumping around (like she had a bee in her knickers, Maud told Alf later).

Gertie ran for the door.

'I'll get you for this see if I don't Maud Walters. I'll get you.' She yanked the door open so violently it almost came off its hinges (she'd always been as strong as a horse) and raced off down the kitchen path her new suit (and hat) covered in dumplings.

Maud stood silently looking at the open door and then at the floor where some of the dumplings lay after dropping off Gertie. She couldn't believe what she'd done! What on earth had come over her? She shouldn't have done that but when she thought of the look on Gertie's face and all those dumplings sticking to her clothes she couldn't keep her face straight. She started to laugh! Louder and louder as she remembered Gertie's face, and that first dumpling landing on her hat. Oh, it was funny! Maud had to sit down she laughed so hard. She'd have to make some more dumplings but she wasn't bothered. It had been worth it just to see Gertie's face.

Maud wiped her eyes with a towel. She'd better clear up this mess before somebody came in. They'd think she'd been in a war!

Gertie stormed up the garden path, lumps of suet still sticking to her hat and suit. Her mind was ticking over louder than the Mercer Hall Clock. She'd explode if she didn't calm down but just thinking what had happened sent her blood pressure soaring again. She'd get even with that lot, if it was the last thing she did, she'd get even.

Fred was standing waiting for her next to the car. A thought struck her! She paused for a moment to let it sink in. I will, aye, I will, she thought. I'll show them and she raced up to Fred. 'Come on, Fred,' she said, gulping to get her breath back (she wasn't very fit because she hadn't worked for years and mainly just sat around at home eating chocolates). 'Come with me to the garage.'

Fred's mouth began to twitch as he looked at Gertie. What a sight! Her hat was hanging askew with a bit of dumpling stuck on it. Her suit was splotched with suet and her face was now redder than her hat. He controlled himself with difficulty and hurriedly stood up from leaning against the car because that glowering look on Gertie's face had the power to wipe the smile right off his.

'What do you want there, Gertie?'

Gertie had already set off in the direction of the garage. She called back over her shoulder. 'Just come on and you'll see.'

Fred followed Gertie at a run. He'd better go with her because there was no knowing what she'd get up to the frame of mind she was in at the moment. Ee, she was a handfull, was Gertie (a cartload full would have been more appropriate). She'd too much time on her hands. That was the trouble with her: time to think about things and stew over them until she'd blown everything so out of proportion she couldn't think straight. If he'd had his way they would have had a few young 'uns by now but Gertie was dead set against that, as well (and come to think of it she was disagreeable about most everything). She'd nearly had a fit when she thought she was in the family way.

'I'm not going to be a slave all me life to any snotty-nosed brats' she stormed at him.

He had been relieved when she found she wasn't.

As Fred hurried after Gertie, who was running as though she'd a train to catch, he wondered how on earth he'd be able to cope with her for the rest of his life.

When they reached the garage Gertie looked around as though searching for something. Fred watched for a few minutes.

'What are you looking for?'

She continued her frantic poking around without looking up.

'A petrol can,' she said tersely. She gave a pleased exclamation as she spied one in the corner.

'Here we are, then, just what I was looking for.' She picked it up and gave it a shake, then opened the lid and sniffed. 'Aye, it's petrol all right. Here, smell that.' She held out the can to Fred who took a sniff and nodded.