Part 4 (2/2)
”Look here, Beatrice. I won first place in my division at the rodeo.”
”That's great,” I muttered in a low voice. ”Now, let's focus on debate. Just don't talk in here, okay? I'll do the talking for both of us.”
He nodded. I was glad he let me take the lead. He followed me into the cla.s.sroom that was buzzing with activity. The noise died down when I entered. All eyes turned to Jared. The champion had arrived and the curiosity about my new partner was high. At least that's what I was telling myself. Until I heard the snorts of laughter. Jared made me look desperate for a partner. I was, but I didn't want everyone else to know that.
Mr. Robarb stood up from his desk with a grin. ”I was wondering when you were going to get here, Beatrice. This your new partner?”
”This is Jared,” I said, trying not to bite my lip from nervousness.
”Jared, glad to have you with us,” Mr. Robarb said. ”You've got a good partner there. We're excited to see you both in action.”
Poor Jared. He was out of his league and he knew it. He mumbled something and took a quick seat by the door. I sat down behind him. Not because I wanted to; I was just afraid he was going to make a run for the door and I could catch him before he escaped.
I could feel the eyes of the other students throughout cla.s.s. I was unusually quiet. In the past, I pretty much ran the debate squad and Mr. Robarb sat on the sidelines. This year, everyone felt a change. No longer was I the champion to chase, but I was the big fat mouth to squash. All those years of running my mouth had caught up with me. I felt myself losing confidence as I sat with my b.u.t.t squeezed into the seat.
I had to form some kind of strategy or all those hours spent researching was going to be wasted. Besides, I wanted that state trophy so bad I could taste it. I might look like the underdog going into our first debate in two weeks, but I refused to go down without a fight.
Jared, on the other hand, looked like a dog slinking away with his tail between his legs before he had even begun the fight. He had slid so far down on his seat that only his head was peeping over the back of it. I reached out and popped his ear with my pencil. He grabbed the red spot my pencil left and turned his head to look at me. I motioned for him to sit up. Grudgingly, he obliged.
After cla.s.s, he darted out the door without a word to me. Sue and Jason came up to me, hardly able to contain their gloating.
”Is this Jared's first year in debate?” Jason asked with a knowing grin.
”Yep,” I replied, shuffling some loose papers I pulled from my backpack.
”Well, good luck with that,” he said and walked away with Sue scurrying to keep up. I heard them laughing in the hall and felt my face getting hot.
Leslie sauntered up, felling full of herself. Next to me, she was the strongest debater. And she had the Blimp on her side. He could think quickly on his feet, but just had problems voicing his thoughts out loud. She was pretty confident in them winning state this year.
”Hi Beatrice,” she said cooly. ”Looks like you've got a lot of work to do with that one.”
”Hey Leslie,” I said. I slung my backpack over my shoulder and started for the door, but she grabbed my arm.
”Serves you right, you know. You can only be a dictator for so long before someone knocks you off your throne,” she said in a low voice.
I shook her arm off and stared her in the eyes. ”You think you're going to knock me off my throne, Leslie? Sue and Jason have a better chance than you.”
Her eyes narrowed and she opened her mouth to retort, but I didn't give her a chance. I s.h.i.+fted my backpack and hurried to the door. Outside, I took a deep breath. I wasn't sure Jared would even be back, but at least the first day back in the debate room was over.
”Hey, Bea,” Brody yelled from outside a cla.s.sroom across the courtyard.
He was standing with some other guys who looked at me with curiosity. I remembered our talk, so I ignored my first instinct to turn and run the other way. I gave him a smile and waved. Guess what? It felt good to see other kids around me gasp with surprise. Especially Leslie, who had followed me outside to try to continue her tirade.
I felt a confidence in my step as I walked to lunch. Having Brody as a friend just might help me in school. Or not. Lanie and her troupe of girls pushed past me just then, elbowing me out of the way. So much for any confidence I had felt a minute ago.
I paid for a bagged lunch and made my way to the table Johanna and I had eaten at since ninth grade. But she wasn't there. I searched the crowd of kids gathered at tables and spotted her daisy s.h.i.+rt in the middle of a group of kids. She was sitting next to Dale Jerry. She was so busy laughing at something he said that she didn't notice me standing at our table. Alone.
I sat down and opened the bag of lunch. It was a turkey sandwich on soggy white bread. A bag of cheap, stale chips and an applesauce made up the rest of the lunch. I didn't feel hungry, after all. As a matter of fact, I felt like throwing up. I took the lunch bag and threw it into the trash.
There was nowhere to hide out at lunch, so I went to the bathroom and locked myself into a stall. I could hear girls come and go, laughing and talking about vain and shallow things. I didn't fit in. Oh, I fooled myself with debate. I didn't fit in there either, but I forced my way in like a bull in a china shop. I was a big girl who didn't have anyone to hang out with at lunch.
I stayed in the stall until I heard the bell ring. There was a last minute rush of girls in the bathroom to check makeup and teeth. I took advantage of the activity and snuck out of the stall, unnoticed.
The rest of the school day went by uneventfully. I was happy to hear the final bell and rush out of the cla.s.sroom with the other kids to go home. Except, I had to go to work.
Aunt Roma greeted me at the door, full of smiles and questions. I gave her short answers and went to pull an ap.r.o.n on. She rounded the corner and crossed her arms to watch me.
”What's up, b.u.t.tercup?” She had called me that as I little girl and it was weird to hear her say it now that I was older.
”Aunt Roma,” I sighed. ”How come I have such a problem making friends?”
”No offense, honey, but I don't see you trying to make friends,” she replied.
”I guess. It's kind of crazy, but for the first time, I really felt lonely. Johanna already has a date for Homecoming and she sat next to him at lunch. Then, everyone laughed at my debate partner and Leslie called me a dictator. I guess I just need to wait till debate is in full swing.”
”I think you hide behind your debate,” she said bluntly. ”This is your senior year. Why don't you give it up and live a little?”
I gasped out loud. Give up my precious debate? Never. Aunt Roma knew how I felt about debate. I couldn't believe those words would ever come out of her mouth.
”Listen, honey,” she said with a sigh. ”You've been on this crazy debate team throughout high school. You don't give yourself a chance to date, and the few times you've had a chance to date a guy, you blow it with your big Italian mouth.”
”I can't argue with that, Aunt Roma, but I'm not giving up debate. This is my last year and I've invested too much time preparing. Besides, I would never give those kids the satisfaction of seeing me give up. They're all waiting for my demise.”
Aunt Roma laughed. ”Don't be so dramatic, Bea. No one wants to see your demise.”
”Those debate vultures do,” I insisted.
”Think about it,” she urged. ”Date or debate?”
”I want both,” I groaned. ”And don't say anything to Mom or Dad. They'll have me a long line of old men lined up to take me to Homecoming.”
The door opened just then so Aunt Roma rushed to greet the customers. Dean was whistling at the counter. I went around to see if I needed to deliver anything to the floor. Two baskets of breadsticks were waiting under the heat lamp.
”I heard what you said to Aunt Roma,” he said quietly.
”Pig,” I hissed. ”Stop spying on me.”
”Aunt Roma's right, Bea. You've got to watch your mouth. Sure, we talk that way in front of the family, but no one outside us understands.”
”Thanks for your advice, Dean, but I didn't ask for it.”
I grabbed the breadsticks and started out to the floor. His only response was to start whistling again. I knew he was right. My big fat mouth had caused me more enemies than friends. Being soft just wasn't in my nature though.
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