Part 7 (2/2)

--And when I have shown all these things, Frau Musika, I shall tell of the golden lands that I have visited upon the wings of thy spirit!--

What objects are the fountains Of thy happy strain!

What fields or waves or mountains, What shapes of sky or plain!

What love of thine own kind, what ignorance of pain!

May 20th.

I live among the poor people and that keeps me humble. There is not much chance for freedom, I hear them say, there are not many who can dwell in the forests. Prove your right to it--prove what you can do--the law is stern. I am not afraid of the challenge; I will prove what I can do.

But I see one here and there with whom the law is not so strict, I think.

I met a merchant the other night. I dreamed of him. He said: ”I buy such goods as men need; I buy them as cheaply as I can, since life is grim. I sell them as cheaply as I can, since men are poor and suffering. I make of profit what I need to live humbly. I am not of the world's seekers; I am of the finders.”

I met also a guileless fool.

We pa.s.sed a great mansion. ”I should like to know the man who lives there,”

said the fool.

”Should you?” said I.

”Is he a hero?” asked the fool.

”No,” said I.

”Is he a poet?” asked the fool.

”No,” said I.

”Must he not be very beautiful,” said the fool, ”that men judge him worthy of so much beauty?”

May 21st.

I must finish this thing this time! That cry rings in my ears night after night. I am toiling upward--upward--I can see no sign of the end yet--but I must finish this time! If I had to stop with this thing haunting me--if I had to go out into that jungle of a world with this weight upon me--to repress myself with this fire in my heart--I could not bear it--I could not bear it!

And if I stopped and went out into that world again--how many weeks of agony would it cost me to get back to where I am now!

I must finish this time!

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