Volume III Part 3 (1/2)

Although 'tis now nigh thirty years since, I do preserve the pleasantest re the Dutch when I was Poor, I grew to like 'em as a reputable Merchant Adventurer 'Twas but a s up my Coach, and was only hindered by the fact that the Police Laws of A only a certain and very s of the Wheels should disturb the good thrifty Burghers at their Accompts For most vehicles they have what they call a Sley, which is the body of a Coach fastened on to a Sledge with ropes, and drawn by one Horse A Felloalks by the side on't, and holds on with one hand to prevent its falling over, while with the other heat the rate of about Three miles an hour, and makes you think that you are in a Hospital Conveyance, or else going on a Hurdle to be Hanged, Drawn, and Quartered

This Amsterdam is the fa, and in soave rise to the sportive saying of Erasmus when he first came hither, that he had reached a City where the Citizens lived, like Crows, upon the tops of Trees And again he waggishly cos This Erasmus was, I conjecture, a kind of Schoolmaster, and very learned; but conceited, as are ; and this rich place has all co the Fishes Here Traffic is wooed as though she were a Woman, and Gold is put to bed with Ti, which is christened Interest A strange, cleanly, -pans, universal Industry and Tobacco-pipes, Gingerbread and Sawing- Waters of Schiedaion Peculiar to these People is the functionary called the Aansprecker, a kind of hu Black Gown and afrom it, to inform the Friends and Acquaintances of Genteel Persons of any one being Dead This Aansprecker pays very handsome Compliments to the Departed, at so many Stuyvers the Ounce of butter; and this saves the Dutch (who are very frugal towards their Dead) fro lies upon their Tombstones When a Man quits, they wind up his Accounts, strike a Balance, and go on to a fresh Folio in the Ledger without carrying any thing forward At Marriage-tiure for the Bride and Bridegrooenerally fine Hock, well spiced and sugared, and adorned with all sorts of Ribbons They have also a singulartheir Linen and Beds, by means of what they call a Trokenkorb, or Fire-basket, which is of the size and shape of a Magpie's Cage, and within it is a pan filled with burning Turf, and the Linen is spread over the Wicker-frame; or, to air the Bed, the whole Machine is placed between the Sheets Nay, there are sundry Dowager Fraho do warh it were a footstool; and considering the quantity of Linsey Woolsey they wear, I wonder there are not ainst this last, there are Persons appointed whose office it is to rehest Churches; and as soon as they spy a Flaht, towards the quarter where the Fire is, blowing a Tru here very good, save the Water, which is so Brackish that it is not drunk even by the Common People There are Water-Merchants constantly occupied in supplying the City with drinkable Water, which they bring in Boats froe stone Bottles, that cost you about Eightpence a-piece English The Poor, who cannot afford it, drink Rain-water, which gives rise to the , that a Dutchman's Mouth is for ever open, either to sn S Generation

Being as yet a Bachelor, I agreed forand Victuals with Mr

Vandepeereboom, who had a fair House, very stately, on one of the Canals behind the Heeren Gragt, or Lord's Street 'Twould have had quite a princely appearance, but for a row of Elms in front, which, with their fan, almost concealed the Mansion The noble look of the House, too, was so next door to a shop where they sold Drugs; which like all others of this trade in Holland, had for a sign a huge Carved Head, with the mouth wide open, in front of the : sometimes it rudely resembles a Mercury's Head, and at other tin is called _de Gaaper_,--the Gaper,--and I know not the origin of it So Borden_, and have ridiculous Verses written upon the these Dutchmen, who are keener than Jews in their Cash-h in the College of Magistrates, and I was ofttied to witness with him the administration of Justice and the infliction of its Dread Awards,--all here very Decent and Solemn The Awful Sentence of Death is delivered in a room on the baseh a -door covered with brass E Swords; above, between the Rails, are the old and new City Arms; and at the bottohty handso out one of his Eyes to save one of his Son's, and Junius Brutus putting his children to Death On the fore part of the Judgallantly, but quite falsely, represented by the figure of a Woer to her lips, and two Children by her, Weeping over a Death's Head When the dire Dooht into this Hall, guarded; and nothing is omitted in point of solemnity to impress on his mind (poor wretch!) and on those about hi the Laws of the Country; which is aTerror into 'eistrates settle the Sentence a themselves in private, and the _Greffier_ comes all of a sudden into the unhappy Person's Cell to tell him that he is to be presently Executed; or even our Old Bailey fashi+on (though the Black Cap is frightful), where the Culprit is ,--one down, another come up; and Jack Ketch Drunk all the while with burnt Brandy 'Twas a thorough knowledge of Hu this Dutch hall of Justice on the ground-floor, and its Brazen Door opening into a coh the Stadt House I never passed by this door without seeing nuh the Rails upon the emblematic objects within, apparently in Melancholy Meditation, and reflecting upon the Igno frooe to the Execution Chamber, or Hall of the Last Prayers, where the Condeh a Window, the lower part of Wood, so that it opens level with the floor of the Scaffold, which is constructed on the outside, opposite the Waag or Weigh House

As associate of one of the Magistrates, I often visited the Dungeons beneath the Stadt House, which are herers As places of Confine can beht of a Rush Candle, you gaze only on Eures, while out of the Dark Shadows issue faint but diser for Life; yet have I known convicted Creatures in this Rat's hole as a in the Dark; while in the next cell were a nueneral of their sex when in Durance, did nothing but Yell and tear their Clothes to Pieces But 'tis true that all confined in these dreadful places had conant nature, and which heartily warranted their being thus cut off froions fit only to be Receptacles for the Dead Under the Hall of Justice is likewise the Torture Cha of their Barbarous Judges, undergo a variety of Torments; one of which is to fasten the Hands behind the Neck with a cord through pulleys secured to the vaulted Ceiling, so as to be jerked up and down Weights of Fifty Pounds each are then suspended to the Feet, until anguish overpowers the senses, and a Confession of Guilt is heard to quiver on the lips Public Punishments are inflicted only Four Times a Year, when a vast Scaffold is erected in the space between the Stadt House and Waag House, as before mentioned Those that are only to be Whipped endure that compliment with Merciless Severity, and are not permitted to Retire till those who are to Die have suffered, which is either by Decapitation or by the Rope And this acts as a Warning as to ill happen to 'eistrates attend in their Robes But though Strict, they aretheir Laws, and will not perravation of the Sentence ue, that was condemned, for the murder of half-a-dozen women and children, to have his Head severed from the Trunk at one stroke of the Sword This Mynheer Merry-Andrew, previous to quitting the Prayer Chaer with a Friend that the Executioner should not be able to perfor to the exact terms of the Sentence

So, the moment he knelt to receive the Fatal Stroke, he rolled his Head in every direction so violently and rapidly, that the Heads his Neck at once; and after ed to renounce the Task The Officers ere to see the Sentence executed were now in a Great Dileument to persuade the Fellow to remain still, and have his Head quietly taken off At last he was remanded back to Prison, and after an hour's deliberation the presiding Magistrate, upon his own Responsibility, ordered the Gallows to be brought out, and the Fellow to be straightway Hanged thereupon; which was done, to the contente at the fear of being deprived of their Sport But the strait-laced Dutch Judges and Lawyers all took alar but the high rank and character of the Magistrate preserved hirees in their Punishments, and are, even in extre to try all ith a cri him Thus have they their famous Rasphuys for the Confinement and Correction of those whose Crinificant painted wooden figures, representing Rogues sawing Log-wood, and Justice holding a Rod over the and branding, they stick up in their Public Walks and Gardens, to shohat is Done to those who pluck the Flowers or carve Names upon the Trunks of the Trees, and it has aEvil-doers

So in the Yard of the Rasphuys is a Whipping-post in Terrorerant with Execution Here the Rogues saw Campeachy-wood, which seems to be most toilsome work; and yet by practice they can sao Hundred Pounds' weight every ith ease, and also make many little Articles in Straw, Wood, Bone, and Copper, to sell to Visitors They are all clad in White Woollen, which, when they are stained with the Red Sawdust, gives theoblin kind of appearance Here too, in a corner of the Yard, they show the Cell in which if the person as confined in it did not incessantly Pump out the Water let into it, he ine, the Gaolers said, had not been used for many Years, and was only kept up as an object of Terror

In the east quarter of Amsterda the Workhouse close to the Muider Gragt, a place which, I believe, has not its parallel in the whole World 'Tis partly Correctional and partly Charitable; and when I saw it, there were Seven Hundred and Fifty Persons within the Walls, the yearly expense being about One Hundred Thousand Florins In the roo to the Governors and Directresses sos by Van Dyck, Reo scarcely any where in Holland, fros Here, in a vast room very cleanly kept, are an i the Irishwo a little more fond of true Schiedam Gin than her lawful Spouse In another vast Aparts and Grated Windows, are the Fehest state of Discipline, and very industriously and silently engaged inLace, under the superintendence of a Governess From the Walls of the Booes, Gags, and Manacles, the which are not spared upon the slightest appearance of Insubordination Then there are Wards for the Men, Schoolrooms for a vast nuhest state of Neatness In another part of the Building, which only the Magistrates are per Ladies--soh Families--sent here by their Parents or Friends for undutiful Deportment, or some other Domestic Offence They are coradation; are kept apart; forced to work a certain number of hours a day; and are occasionally Whipped Here, too, upon coance, Tipsiness, &c, duly proved, can Husbands send their Wives, to be confined and receive the Discipline of the House; _and hither, too, can Wives send their Husbands for the saether, till they show signs of aood; but the Work is hard, and the Stripes are e in England, to abate and cure the frivolities and extravagances of Fashi+onable People?

So then, as an Honourable Merchant in a city and country where Coht, but for rown Rich, and taken unto myself a Dutch Wife, and had a Brood of little Broad-beamed Children, that should smoke their Tobacco and quaff their Schiedam, even from their Cradle upwards Indeed, Madam Vanderkipperhaerin of Gouda (the place where the Cows feed in the Meadows clad in Blue-striped Jackets and Petticoats) was pleased to look upon me with Eyes of Favour, and often said it was a Sin and Shah to say) was not Married and Settled And, indeed, why not? I ofttimes asked myself I had Florins, Guilders, and Stuyvers in abundance; istrate, and well reputed worthy: why should I not give Hostages to Fortune, and have done for good and all with the Life of a Roving Bachelor? By this tiue) I spoke French with Ease and Fluency, if not with Grammatical correctness; and had likewise an indifferently copious acquaintance with the Hollands Dialect Why should not I be a Magistrate, a Burgomaster? Madam Vanderkipperhaerin was Rich, and had a beautiful Su with Bee's-waxed Campeachy-wood and Polished Brass on the River Amstel, some three miles from the City

She had a whole Cabinet full of Ostades and Jan Steens in ebony fraht have made Cranbourn Alley jealous Why did not I avail myself of the many Propitious Moments that offered, and demand the Hand of that most respectable Dutch Dame

The Melancholy Truth is, that she chose to be jealous of Betje, Mr

Vandepeereboom's comely Housekeeper, upon who but innocently Paternal Glances, and utterly deny that I ever foregathered with that young Fraw She was forMr

Vandepeereboom to have Betje sent to the Workhouse, there to be set to Spinning, and to receive the usual unhandso, in truth, no fault to find with the Poor Girl,--Madam, in a Huff, withdrew her Countenance and Favour froossips, revived the old Story ofseveral Wives alive in different parts of Europe and the New World Surely there was never yet a erous!

Then, to uine

Flesh and blood! athe vilest of Humanity because he falls in Love How could I help Wilheluine is not a Nun

The Beguines belong to a e House with a wall and ditch around it, and that has a Church and Hospital inside, and is for all the world like a little Town But the Sisterhood is perfectly secular; they le with the inhabitants of the city, quit the Convent when they choose, and evenas they belong to the Order, to attend Prayers a certain number of times a day, and to be within the Convent-walls at a stated hour every evening To be admitted to this Order, they must be either unmarried or ithout children; and the only certificate required of them is that of Good Behaviour, and that they have a Competence to live upon You ranted theerous and the Fair Beguine Wilhelether as Man and Wife? Wilhelmina was the comeliest Creature (save one) that I have ever seen; and, but that she was a little Stout, would have passed as the living nor Raphael the Painter did so well in Oils I don't think I loved her; but she tookher in the houses of divers Honourable Families in Amsterdam, 'tis not to be concealed that I courted her withPersons, was held to be highly couine For all that I had become a Grave Merchant, there was yet soh Seas aboutFraw, that was a Lieutenant in their High Mightinesses Land Forces,--the Amphibious Grenadiers I call 'em, and every strict in Holland, ere obliged to e our Difficulty; and , I--Well, is Jack Dangerous to be blamed for that he was, in the prime of Life, an approved Master of Fence?

The Lieutenant being dead of his Wounds (received in perfectly fair fight), the whole City of Amsterdam must needs cry out that I had er to receive o into a craze; and, upon my word, when I heard how Mad she was, and how they had been obliged to shut her up in the Hospital, I could not help thinking of the History ofFraw van Praag again (for she was very Sweet, I believe, with the Spark that forced ht with him), for fear that she should Pistol me But she did not; and Recovered, to marry a very Wealthy shi+ply Business was the talk of all tongues (but Mr

Vandepeereboom clapped me on the Shoulder, and bade me take my Diversion while he minded Business, for that all would Blow Over soon), I took an Excursion ('twas in the third year of my Residence here) into North Holland, to visit the fae of Brock Here the streets are divided by little Rivulets, for all the world like Lilliputian Canals; the Houses and Summer-houses all of Wood, painted Green and White, very handsome, albeit whimsical in their shape, and scrupulously neat The Inhabitants have a peculiar association aer within their Doors During my stay I only saw the Faces of two of 'em, and then only by a stealthy Peep They are said to be very rich, and in some of their Kitchens to have Pots and Pans of solid Gold The Shutters of the Windoays kept closed, and the Householders go to and fro by a Back Door, the Principal Entrance being opened only at Marriages and Deaths The Street Pavement all set out with Pebbles and cockleshells, and no Dogs or Cats were seen to trespass upon it; and forers to take off their Shoes Here it was that a Man was once Convened and Repri in the Streets; and, latterly, a Parson, I heard, upon being appointed to fill the Church on the Dereat offence to his Flock for not taking off his Shoes when he ascended the Pulpit The Gardens of this strange Village produce Deer, Dogs, Peacocks, Chairs, and Ladders, all cut out in Box I never saw such a Museuetable Statuary in htly Ball-roohted up, and the floor well chalked, but not a Soul to Scrape Fiddle or Foot Minuet Farther from here is Saardam, which, at a distance, looks like a City of Windot to say, that at Brock they tie up the Cows' Tails with Blue Ribbons

The Houses of Saardam are principally built of Wood, and every one has a Fantastic kind of Baby Garden Here is the Wooden Hut where Peter the Great lived, when he wrought as a shi+pwright in the Navy-yard It stands in a Garden, and is in Decent Preservation The women in North Holland are said to be handsomer than in any other part of the country; but I was out of taste with Beauty when I caly Faces

So, co back to Amsterdam, I found that Mr Vandepeerebooeance, and with Couine had Blown Over; but another affair had Blown On, and this very speedily ended in a Blow Up I aly Reputable Mr Vandepeerebooue Our Firs, Cloves, Mace, Cinnamon, and so forth; also in Rice, Cotton, and Pepper; and especially in the Java Coffee, which is held to be second only to that of Arabia In this branch of Trade the Dutch have no competition, and they are able to keep the price of their Spices as high as they choose, by ordering what remains unsold at the price they have fixed upon it to be Burnt How it caned to us were all wrecked on the High Seas and never insured; that the Batavian Merchants, to e advanced nments, all failed disainst us, and that ays burnt our Surplus Goods just as prices were about to rise,--I know not; but certain it is, that I had not been three weeks back in Aerous went Bankrupt Now 'tis an ugly thing to be Bankrupt in Holland The people are so thrifty and persevering, and so jealous of keeping their Engagements, that the very rarity of Insolvencya character very seldom to be met with, he is held in more Odium in Holland than in any other part of Europe Yet are their Laws of Arrest land, where for a s an Honest Man becomes the prey of a Catchpole, and for years after he has paid the Debt itself, with exorbitant Costs to some Knavish Limb of the Law, may still continue to Rot in Gaol for the Keeper's Fees or Garnish Here, if the Debtor be a Citizen or Registered Burgher (as I was), he is not subject to have his Person seized at the suit of his Creditors, until three regular Summonses have been duly served upon him to appear in the Court, which Processes are completed in about a month; after which, if he does not obey it, he may be laid hold of, but only when he has quitted his House; for in Holland a Man's Dwelling is held even land, and no Writ or Execution whatever is capable of being served upon hi as he keeps close, or even if he stands on the threshold of his Home In this Sanctuary he may set at Defiance every Claieants collar hioes not to a common Gaol or Prison for Felons, but to a House of Restriction, where he is properly entreated, and maintained with Liberal Hus, ards only the private Gentleman Debtor; but woe betide the Fraudulent Trader! The Bankrupt Laws of Holland differ fron the Debtor's Certificate, or Agreement of Liberation If any decline, the Ground of their Refusal is submitted to Arbitrators, who decide as to the merits of the case; and if the Broken Merchant be found to be a Cheat, no Mercy is shown hieons beneath the Stadt House,a born Dutchman) knew very well; and he waited neither for Deliberations as to his Certificate, nor for Arbitrators' award He e'en showed his Creditors a clean Pair of Heels, and took shi+pping for Harwich in England I believe he afterwards prospered exceedingly in London as a Crimp, or Purveyor of Men for the Sea-Service, and submitted to the East India Co the Commerce of the Hollanders I have likewise reason to think that he did stthat I had been the Ruin of hiance and Deboshed Ways, and that but for his Intercession I should have been Broken on the Wheel for unhandsouine Ere he flitted, he left me a Letter, in which he had the I since drawn outhimself much better able to take care of the Money than I was Furthermore he contemptuously advised me to try soh abond Habits, as he had the face to call it--in no wise Fitted Finally, he ironically wished me a Good Deliverance from the hands of the assessors of the Commercial Tribunal, and, with a Devilish Sneer, recommended his Housekeeper Betje to my care O Mr Vandepeerebooain, old as I a in Holland for you--if, indeed, there be anybody left to shed tears for such a Worthless Rascal

This ly a trifle of good, and at all events saved e of his in the Letter about my Funds in the Bank of Amsterdam was my Deliverance 'Tidely known that I was but a si Man, unused to Mercantile Affairs, and that I had really brought with me the considerable Sum of Twenty Hundred Pounds I was arrested, it is true, and lay for many Months in the House of Restriction; but interest was reed to sign a Certificate of Liberation I believe that but for that uine, and for that confounded Officer that I sworded, some of the Wealthy Merchants would have subscribed to an association for setting ain; but that Rencounter was remeht lander; you are Free this tiet you out of Holland as quick as ever you can; for their High Mightinesses, to say nothing of the Worshi+pful Burgo for Men that are too quick with the Sword and too sloith the Pen; and if you don't speedily mend your way of Life, and bid farewell to this Country, you will find yourself sawing of Campeachy-wood at the Rasphuys, with Dirk Juill, the Beadle, standing over you with a Thong” Upon which I thanked him heartily; and he had the Generosity to lend me Fifty Florins to furnishMan I was now long past ain almost a Pauper, Friendless and Unknown in the World; yet did I feel Undaunted, and confident that Better Days were in store for o out of Holland as quick as ever I could, and betook on to the city of Bruxelles in Brabant Here I abode for some months in the house of a clean Widoolish, and, besides, a very tolerable French Scholar, procured hbourhood of the Petit Sablon (hard by the Archduchess Governante's Palace), where I dwelt on a Sixth Floor By degrees I did so increase my number of Pupils, that I was able to open a School of soht the Languages, with Writing and Accompts; while for the instruction of the latter in Needlework and other Fehter, a comely Maiden, albeit Red-haired, and very ure to yourself Captain Jack Dangerous turned Doh to believe that I was a very passable Pedagogue; and of this I am certain, that I was entirely beloved by one while a Captive in the hands of that Barbarous Wretch, Gnawbit, had never been effaced from my Memory, and had made me infinitely tender towards little Children Indeed I could scarcely bear to use the Ferula to thee 'em, as 'tis the brutal fashi+on of Pedants to do; nor do I think, though I disobeyed Solomon'sany Child that was under sters, by telling the and marvellous Stories, drawn from what Books of History I had handy (and these I ad), and others concerning my own remarkable Adventures, in which, however extraordinary they seemed, I always took care to adhere strictly to the Truth, only suppressing that which it was not proper for Youth and Innocence to beis a tiresoht too; and a Man must have some place to Divert himself in, when the toils of the day are over I found out a Coffee-House in the Rue de Merinos, or Spaan Scheep Straet, as the Fleue, and there, over e Acquaintance