Volume II Part 5 (1/2)
which was his general reply when he was puzzled in the Foreign Lingos
Then the old Lord, with a very sharp voice and in French, tells hione Mr Pinchin could understand French, though he spoke it but indifferently; but he, being fairly Primed, and in one of his Obstinate Moods, musters up his best parleyvoo, and tells the Ancient with the Golden Key (and I saw that he had another one hung round his neck by a parcel chain, and conjectured hio to the Devil (I ask pardon for this word) Hereupon my Lord with the Sheep's countenance collars hie, so that the key nearly puts his eye out, and roars for the Guard Then Mr Pinchin, according to his custoins to squeal for Me, and the Chaplain, and his Mamma, to help him out of it My blood was up in atilish Grenadier sneak off before a rabble-rout of Sauerkraut Soldiers?” I asked rown since that night ”Here goes, Jack Dangerous!” and away I went into the throng, wrenched the white staff fro his Sword for hirasped hi to cut a way back for both of us through the crowd But 'twas a h, and for all they were Sauerkraut Soldiers, pestilent Veterans who knehat Fighting meant When I saw their fixed Bayonets, and their Mustachios curling with rage, I reht in Charlwood Chase We were far from our own country, and there was no Deainst my Stomach, there was no help for it but to surrender ourselves at once Prisoners of War Prisoners of War, forsooth! They treated us worse than Galley Slaves Our hands were bound behind us with cords, Halters were put about our necks, and, the Grenadiers prodding us behind with their bayonets,--the Dastards, so to prick Unarh the rascal Crohichlane for us to pass to the Guardhouse at the Entrance of the Gardens The Officer of the Guard was at first for having both of us strapped down to a Bench as a preliminary measure to receive two hundred Blows apiece with Willow Rods in the s Judicial proceedings, when up comes the old Lord in a Monstrous Puff and Flurry, and says that by the Empress's command no present Harm is to be done us; but that we are to be re us shall be known Her Majesty, however, forgot to enjoin that ere not to be fettered; so the Captain of the Guard he claps on us the heaviest Irons that ever Mutineers howled in; and we, being flung into a kind of Brewer's Dray, and acco Guard of Horse and Foot, were conveyed to Vienna, and locked up in the Town Gaol
Luckily Mr Hodge speedily got wind of our misfortune, and hied hi fond of a Pleasant Story, laughed heartily at the recital He pro of that sort; and as for ht think myself Lucky if I escaped with a sound dose of the Bastinado once a week for three months, and a couple of years or so in Irons The Chaplain pleaded for me as well as for my Master as hard as he could; and his Excellency frowned and said, that the Diversions of a Gentleht run a little wild sometimes and no harrowing evil) must be restrained
”At all events, I'll see what I can do,” he condescended to explain
”Come what , and perhaps they will let hih” So he calls for his Coach, and goes off to Court
FOOTNOTES:
[E] Had Captain Dangerous written his ht have found cause to alter his opinion respecting the wisdorant the Aerous is a stanch opponent of Reform--ED
CHAPTER THE SIXTH
OF PARIS (BY THE WAY OF THE PRISON AT VIENNA), AND OF MY COMING BACK FOR A SEASON TO MY OWN COUNTRY, WHERE MY MASTER, THE CHAPLAIN, AND I PART COMPANY
THE Fox in the Fable, so my Grannum (who had a ready Memory for those Tales) used to tell ht The Second View only a little Dashed him with Tremour; at the Third he durst salute him Boldly; and at the Fourth Rencounter Monsieur Reynard steals a shi+n Bone of Beef frohs at his Beard This Fable ca and a Grin (soain (and for no Base Action I aver) in a Prison Hold I re I had felt when doors of Oak claed upon me; when I first saw the Blessed Sun made into a Quince Tart by the cross-bars over his Golden face; when I first heard that clashi+ng of Gyves together which is the Death Rattle of a man's Liberty But now! Gaols and I were old Acquaintances Had I not lain long in the diseon at Aylesbury? Had I not sweltered in the Hold of a Transport shi+p? I was but a Youth; but I felta ets into Gaol, is to ask hied
If he have no Sand Blindness, or Gossa of Threepenny cord before his eyes, why then he had e'en better eat and drink, and Thank God, and hope for the Best ”They won't Hang h to myself, when I ell laid up in Limbo The Empress is well known to be a merciful Lady, and will cast the ermine of Mercy over the Scarlet Robe of Stern Authority Perhaps I shall get my Ribs basted
What of that? Flesh is flesh, and will Heal They cannot beat me so sorely as I have seen done (but never of ro Slaves If they fine et out again what use is there in Fretting? Lady Fortune has played uish a one to the Sheepfaced old Chaolden Key, or any other ss about the Court? The Spoke which now is highest in her Wheel ood Twist, be under for a dried Yeo a Servant, and so unjustly accounted of Base Degree by these Sour-Cabbage gorging and Sourer-Beer swilling High Dutch Bed-Pressers, was put into the Common Ward with the Raff; while my Master was suffered, on Pays Gaolers are Gaolers all over the world, and Golden Fetters are always the lightsomest We were some Sixty Rascals (that is to say, Fifty-nine scoundrels, with one Honest Youth, your Humble Servant) in the Co, indeed, but a Raised Wooden Platforht us so Fashi+on, and that was all we had for Lodging Gear It mattered little There was a Roof to the Gaol that eather-tight, and what ot better at least
Which they speedily did; and neither Master nor Man cah; and the safety of Jack Dangerous's bones hung for days, so I was afterwards told, by theand earnestly about ht before the Aulic Council; but, after about a week's confinelish Embassador and the Great ones of the Court, Mr
Pinchin had signified to hi a Fine of Eight Hundred Florins, which was reckoned reeous behaviour at the Shooting ht fit to detain Me; but My Master, after he regained his liberty, cah his and Mr Hodge's kindness, I was supplied with as good Victuals and Drink as I had heretofore been accustomed to Indeed, such abundant fare was there provided for me, that I had always a superfluity, and I was enabled to relieve the necessities and fill the bellies of ry creatures who otherwise must have starved; for 'twas the custom of the Crown only to allow their Captives a few Kreutzers, alish, for their subsistence The Oldest Prisoner in the Ward, whom they called Father of the Room, would on this Bare Pittance take tithe and toll, often in a most Extortionatefrom one another, even as they slept; and if a o for a ithout touching a doit of his allowance, and soa little filthy Cabbage Soup, or a lump of Black Bread, from some one not wholly without Bowels of Compassion
But I had not been here th prevailed, and I too was Enlarged; only so laid upon me by way of fine This h his mad folly, and no fault of my own, that I had come to Sorrow, he was in all Justice and Equity bound to bear me harmless in the Consequences He was fain, however, to make some De so amerced
”Suppose you had been sentenced to Five Hundred Blows of a Stick, sirrah,”--'twas thus he put the case to h,--”would you have expectedfor thee in Purse?”
”Circue in my behalf ”Here is luckily no question of Stripes at all John otten off without a Rib-Roasting; and to your Worshi+p, after the Tune they have made you dance to, and the Piper you have paid, what is this miserable little Fine of Fifty Florins?” Soanother Ten Florins for the poor Losels in the Gaol to drink his health in, we departed fro ourselves, and with reason, very well out of it
Servants are not always so lucky when they too implicitly obey the behests of their Masters, or, in a hot fever of Fidelity, stand up for theer or Desperate Affrays Has there not ever been brought under your notice that famous French Law Case, of the Court Lady,--the Daainst whom another Dame had a Spite, either for her Beauty, or her Wit, or her Riches' sake? She, riding one day in her Coach-and-Six by a cross-road, comes upon the Dame de Liancourt, likewise in her Coach-and-Six, both ladies having the ordinary coainst her of Liancourt whispers to her Lacqueys; and these poor Faithful Rogues, too eager to obey their Mistress's commands, ran to the other coach-door, pulled out that unlucky Dame de Liancourt, and then and there inflicted on her that shameful chastisement which jealous Venus, as the Poetry books say, did, once upon a time, order to poor Psyche; and which, even in our own ti's Favourite, did cause Four Chambermaids to inflict on soer
At any rate, the cruel and Disgraceful thing was done, the Da her hands O! 'twas a scandalous thing
The poor Dae and Shae her coht before the Parliaoes to Paris, and is heard and re-heard, the Judges all hty to-do about it; and at last, after soation, is settled in this wise My Lady pays a Fine and the Costs, and begs the Dame de Liancourt's pardon But what, think you, becoh to execute her Revengeful Orders?
Why, at first they are haled about froaol to another for Thirty Months in succession, and then they are subjected to the question, Ordinary and Extraordinary--that is to say, to the Torture; and at last, whenher fine of 10,000 livres, I think, or about Four Hundred Pounds of our Money, the Judges at Paris pronounce against these two poor Devils of Footmen,--that were as innocent of any Malice in the Matter as the Babe that is unborn, and only Did what they were Told,--that one is to be Hanged in the Place de Greve, and the other banished to the Galleys, there to be chained to the Oar for life A fine Encourageood Victuals and a Fine Livery, they are bound to obey all the Humours and Caprices, even to the most Unreasonable and most Arbitrary, of their Masters and Mistresses
We were in no great Mood, after this Affair was over, to re through the Province of Styria by Gratz, to a little town on the sea-coast, called Trieste,--that hasthese latter days,--and so crossing the Gulf to Venice; but he abandoned this Sche; his Funds, he said, were running low; he was more anxious about his Mamma than ever; and 'twas easy to see that he was half-weary and half-afraid of the Chaplain and Myself, and that he desired nothing Half so Much as to get Rid of us Both So we packed up, and resus, but in Retreat instead of Advance We passed, coh Dresden, where there are some fine History Pictures, and close to which the Saxon Elector had set up a great Factory for theof painted Pottery Ware: not after the monstrous Chinese Fashi+on, but rather after the Mode practised with great Success at our own Chelsea The h State Secret by the governers were, on any pretence, admitted to the place where the Works were carried on; so of thisnothing: and not Sorry was I of the privation, being utterly Wearied and palled withSo post to Frankfort, where there were a rand old River Rhine to the City of Cologne; whence, by the es I did ever know, to Bruxelles But we stayed not here to see the sights--not even the droll little statue of the Mannikin (at the corner of a street, in a most improper attitude; and there is a Group quite as unseeh at that tiesses of Bruxelles regard as a kind of tutelary Divinity, and set reater store by than do we by our London Stone, or Little Naked Boy in Panyer Alley But it is curious to ners run mad after
At Bruxelles e--cost him Two Hundred and Fifty Livres, which was not dear; and the wretched horses of the country being harnessed thereto, we hted at a decent enough kind of Inn, in the Place naht-sided space, and the houses handsoreat sight the day after our co This was the Burial of a certain great nobleman, a Duke and Marshal of France, and at the tiotten his name; but it does not so much matter at this ti as dead as Queen Anne It began (the Burial), on foot, from his house, which was next door but one to our Inn, and went first to his Parish Church, and thence, in coaches, right to the other end of Paris, to a Monastery where his Lordshi+p's Fa procession of Flaray, very tru; no pluether , and did not end till four o'clock the next , for at each church they passed they stopped for a Hymn and Holy Water And, by the ere told that one of these sa the body while it lay in state, fell asleep one night, and let the Tapers catch fire of the rich Velvet Mantle, lined with Erold Flower-de-Luces, which melted all the candles, and burnt off one of the feet of the Departed, before it wakened the watcher
It was afterwards my fortune to know Paris very well; but I cannot say that I thoughtto it Dirt there was everywhere, and the reat deal of Show, but a vein of Rascalneat or handsomely ordered Where my Master stood to see the Burial Procession, the balcony was hung with Crimson Damask and Gold; but the s behind him were patched in half-a-dozen places with oiled paper At Dinner they gave you at least Three Courses; but a third of the Repast was patched up with Sallets, butter, Puff-paste, or soood, wholesome, substantial Belly-Tiers, wore fine clothes; the French people s, but powdered up to their eyebrows