Part 21 (1/2)

Okay, I'd obviously stayed too long. I really did not want to know that. I mean, really. And I'd been feeling guilty over a pre-official breakup of the non-relations.h.i.+p kiss.

”Amy.”

Oh, c.r.a.p.

I spun around hoping Chris hadn't heard what I had. Not for his precious ego, but because that was a conversation I really did not want to have.

”Amy, I swear to G.o.d, it isn't what you think.”

I tried not to laugh at that. I mean seriously, was he trying to be the Ridge View Bill Clinton?

”Okay. It is what you think. But it was a mistake. I've been thinking all morning and I realized a lot of things. I've been stupid.” He took a step toward me, his hand out as if to s.n.a.t.c.h me if I tried to run. ”I realized The Plan was a bad idea. It was one thing to mess with someone like Cheryl, but not with you, Amy.”

I don't know where Cheryl fell into all this. Maybe he was sorry because she dumped him. Maybe he was sorry and she dumped him. Who knows? But the real question had become, who cares?

”That's okay. I mean, we were not really on or anything.” I hurried around the corner, hoping to end the conversation. Not to mention really, really hoping we weren't as easily overheard as the girls in the cla.s.sroom.

When he followed me, I knew I wasn't going to escape having The Talk there and then. Most of me didn't care. All that mattered was getting it done with and getting back to Luke.

I rested against the locker facing Chris. He hovered over me, looking a little unsteady. A flash of memory took me back less than two weeks when the same stance would have made my knees weak.

”Whatever this is-” I waved my hand between us. ”I need you to know it's done. I'm not here anymore. In it.”

His brows dropped over his eyes, confused. Worried.

”Amy, no. I want to work on this. And not just because of the team. I want to hang out again like this summer, but not like this summer.” He shoved his hair out of his face with a nervous twitch I'd never seen before. ”Give me a chance to do this right.”

Wow. I could see he meant it. I could also see he had no idea what it meant.

”Chris, you may not believe this, but this isn't about you. I have a lot of things I could say. The honest truth, I'm not even angry with you.” I smiled at him, the dream that had died a slow and slightly painful death. ”I'm not mad because I'm too happy to be mad. I'm too happy without you.”

He was shaking his head no through the whole thing.

Before I could stop him, he trapped me against the locker and kissed me. It was somehow sweet and desperate and angry and confused, and I had no idea how to get away until I heard something slam against the lockers next to us.

That something would be Luke's fist.

Chris did the most shocking thing. He stepped away from me, keeping his body between Luke and me in a surprisingly protective stance. His hands up, he looked... not annoyed... more worried. ”Listen, Parker. I'm not s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g with her. I'm serious this time.”

Luke's fist still rested in the dented metal, snug and tight. I shoved past Chris, trying to get to Luke. Trying to explain.

”I swear this is not what it looks like,” my voice squeaked. I wasn't even embarra.s.sed by that. I just needed Luke. ”I was telling him I wasn't interested.”

”You have an amazing way of expressing that.” He pulled his fist down and brushed his knuckles across his pants. ”I'm done.”

”Luke, wait.”

I tried to follow him, but Chris caught my arm, stopping me, and staring as if I were a stranger. Then his face changed, softened like I'd never seen and he fell back, looking at me as if he'd never seen me before. Maybe he hadn't.

”I really screwed that up for you, huh?”

I watched the corner Luke had disappeared around, hoping he'd come back. Hoping he'd be just angry enough to yell and not finally give up on me.

”Listen, I'll go after him. Tell him the deal. Say the word.” Chris took my chin in his hand and turned me to face him. ”But I'd rather you give me a chance.”

Wow. Again.

Every dream I'd had of this boy for the last six years had just been handed to me on a silver platter. The only thing going through my head was Luke's voice as he said ”I'm done.” My eyes fell shut. Logic said take the boy who wants you.

Logic didn't win.

”I never thought...” He laughed an odd, grating sound and continued before I opened my eyes. ”And that's the problem, isn't it? I never thought. It's too late, isn't it?”

I nodded, my throat overfull with words I couldn't say.

”I deserve that.” His thumb rubbed across my cheek once, twice, and then it was gone. ”I am sorry. I tossed away everything I should have kept.”

He stepped away from me, his gaze never leaving mine, still asking me things I'd already said no to. ”I'll talk to him. If I can fix it for you, Amy, I will.”

So, this was fate. I thought I'd really liked him when he was an a.s.s, and now he'd turned into this sweetheart and my heart didn't even stutter-step standing this close to him. I laid my hand on his arm.

”Please don't. I think I need to see what I can do. But thanks.”

He nodded and stepped away from me for the last time. I felt his gaze heavy on my back as I turned the corner and headed toward the gym.

I stood at the edge of the gym, watching for a tall, dark head shadowed by a bobbing shorter one. When I found him, he was moving his bedding to where a bunch of the team slept, his duckling behind him with blankets and pillows.

Knowing I couldn't do anything except humiliate myself further and p.i.s.s him off more, I made my way through the maze of cots to Rachel's family. Not surprised to find her asleep still, I crawled over stuffed animals and little sisters till I reached her cot and crawled onto it with her.

She blinked her eyes open and caught sight of me curled up beside her. Scooting over, she gave me my own pillow and took my hand in hers. Before I knew it, tears were flowing down my face and she threw her arm around me, capturing me in a tight hug.

”Wrong guy, huh?”

I nodded, wondering how she always managed to know.

”You'll fix it.” She sounded so sure. I'd kill for that kind of confidence.

”I don't think so. It was bad. It was actually worse.”

”Than what?” she asked.

”Anything.” I thought about losing my mom and changed that. ”Almost anything.”

”Don't worry. He can't stay mad.” She glanced across the gym to where the boys kicked a ball around. ”He'll see you just needed time.”