Part 15 (2/2)

”That's what you think,” she muttered. ”Where is he?”

”In there.” He pulled her just inside the lounge entrance and nodded toward the corner, where Justin sat bareheaded and stooped with a bottle of whiskey and a shot gla.s.s in front of him. He was staring at the bottle obliviously while a forgotten cigarette sent up spirals of smoke from his free hand.

Shelby frowned. Justin didn't drink, as a rule. She remembered Abby saying something about him getting drunk the night of the square dance, but she knew it was a rare thing for him. He liked to be in control all the time. He didn't like having his mind fogged.

”What's he doing?” Shelby asked.

”Getting drunk, I imagine.” Calhoun took the suitcase from her and looked down at her pale, fragile features. ”Now, Shelby, would you say that he looks like a happy man?”

She grimaced. ”No.”

”Does he look like a man who's overjoyed that his wife has gone off and left him?”

She shook her head. In fact, he looked exactly the opposite. He looked defeated. Her pale green eyes ran over him lovingly, a soft sadness in their depths.

”I had to drive him here because he was shaking too bad to handle a car,” he said quietly, nodding at her shocked expression. ”He won't like remembering that, and when he's back together, I'm going to catch h.e.l.l for having seen him in this condition. But I wanted you to know just how upset he is. That man loves you, honey. For years, you've been the only star in his sky. He's been alone all that time, and despite the fact that he's given you h.e.l.l, I know he'd die for you. If you don't love him, the kindest thing you can do is to get out. But if you care about him, don't run away. Get in there and talk to him.”

”I love him,” she said simply. ”But he believes bad things about me. He won't listen...”

”If you tell him how you feel, he'll listen. Believe it.”

She looked up at him, weakening. ”It's so hard...”

”Isn't life?” He bent and kissed her cheek gently. ”Go on. Get it over. I'll sit in the concourse over there and look like a pa.s.senger and drink coffee. I'll look after your suitcase, too.”

She smiled softly. ”Thanks, Calhoun.”

”My pleasure. Now go on.”

She hesitated, but only for a minute. Calhoun was right. She was going to have to face Justin.

She walked nervously toward the table where he was sitting. As she got closer, she could see the paleness of his skin, the new lines that cut into his face.

”Justin?” she said hesitantly when she reached him.

He glanced up. Something flashed in his eyes as they went over her, tracing her body reverently. ”You aren't here,” he said quietly. ”You left.”

She bit her lip. He sounded as if he was talking to a ghost. ”Not yet,” she said gently. She eased into the chair beside his and stared at his lean hands. ”I'm sorry to just run out like that. But I'd had all I could take.”

”I know that,” he said, his voice soft, tender. ”I'm not blaming you. I never gave you a chance.” He lifted the shot gla.s.s to his lips, but her fingers touched the back of his hand, coaxing him to put it down. He laughed hollowly. ”I hate liquor, did I ever tell you? But it isn't every day a man loses everything he loves.”

Tears moistened her eyes. She caught his hand and held it in both of hers, her face lifted, her expression open, loving. ”You never said that you loved me, Justin,” she whispered. ”But I never stopped loving you. I never will. All I ever wanted was you.”

His fingers contracted convulsively around hers. His black eyes glittered over his face. ”Didn't you know, even without the words?” He breathed roughly. ”My G.o.d, I'd have walked through fire if you'd asked me to. You were my world. I loved you...”

Her head nuzzled against his shoulder and she hated the crowded room, because she wanted nothing more in life than to throw her arms around him and hold him and kiss him and tell him all the things she'd never said before.

His arm went around her, holding her, and he drew in a shaky breath. ”My G.o.d,” he whispered at her forehead. ”I thought you married me because you were alone and frightened.”

”And I thought you married me because you felt sorry for me,” she replied, letting the tears run freely down her face. ”And all along, I loved you so.”

His lean fingers brushed away the tears. He searched her misty eyes. ”We've got to get out of here,” he whispered. ”I have to make you understand what I feel. I can't lose you now. Oh, G.o.d, Shelby, I'll die without you,” he said huskily, and it was in his eyes, blazing out of them like black fire.

The tears came again. She got up, taking his hand. He went with her, holding her against him, even while he settled the tab, as if he couldn't bear to release her even that long.

Calhoun saw them come out of the lounge. He grinned knowingly and picked up Shelby's suitcase. ”I'll drop you two off at the house,” he offered. ”Then I've got a meeting to get to.”

They barely heard him. Justin looked completely oblivious, and Shelby was so close to him that she seemed a part of him.

He put them in the backseat and drove off, smiling smugly at his role in this reunion. Not that they seemed to notice him. They were too busy looking at each other.

He let them out at the front steps of the Ballenger house, setting the bag on the steps beside them. ”I phoned Abby while you two were in the lounge. She said how about coming over to our place for supper? Maria's going to her sister's tonight, and Shelby sure isn't up to cooking.”

”That would be nice,” Justin said quietly. He clapped his brother on the shoulder. ”Thanks.”

”You'd do the same for me,” Calhoun replied. He grinned. ”In fact, you did, or have you already forgotten? See you at six. Goodbye, Shelby.”

”Thanks, Calhoun,” she said, smiling at him.

Justin picked up the suitcase and helped her into the house. Maria came running, a stream of Spanish echoing from her lips. Justin abruptly swung her up by the waist and planted a heartfelt kiss on her tanned cheek. She giggled when he put her down.

”Senor!” she chided. She was dressed up. ”Lopez and I are leaving now, but I had to wait and make sure everything was all right. Senor, what about a meal this evening?”

”Calhoun's invited us over to eat with him and Abby,” Shelby told her, and hugged her. ”Thank you for calling Abby. I'll never forget what you did for us.”

Maria grinned. ”You would have found a way, senora.” She laughed. ”I only helped a little bit. Lopez and I must hurry. We will be back tomorrow, senor. I will cook you a magnificent breakfast!”

”We'll look forward to that. G.o.dspeed.”

Maria smiled and went down the hall into the kitchen, where Lopez was waiting.

Justin led Shelby into the living room, where Maria had a tray of coffee and small cakes waiting for them. After she sat down, he poured the coffee. But before he handed her the cup, he bent and kissed her with exquisite tenderness.

”I love you,” he whispered softly, searching her eyes. ”I always did, even if I couldn't find the right way to tell you.”

She kissed him back. ”That was all you ever had to say,” she replied. ”I loved you, too, Justin. But you never seemed to believe that I could.”

He gave her coffee to her and sat down close beside her to sip his. ”I was a poor man in those days, and I've never been much to look at,” he confessed. ”You came from a wealthy background, you were beautiful and pursued.” He laughed. ”I never felt like serious compet.i.tion for men like Wheelor.”

”Money and looks never counted for much with me,” she said firmly. ”You had qualities much more important.” Her eyes searched his quietly. ”But the important thing was that I loved you,” she said. ”Love doesn't depend on surface things or possessions.”

He looked at her with undisguised hunger. ”No. I don't suppose it does. I was unsure of you.”

She smiled. ”And now?”

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