Part 14 (1/2)
”I don't need pity.” She put her face in her hands with a tiny shudder. ”It's never going to work, Abby. He can't leave the past alone. I don't know what to do. I can't live like this anymore.”
The tears slid past her hands and Abby bent, hugging her, saying all the right things, while she wanted nothing more than to go downstairs and hit Justin in the knee with a stick.
”What are you going to do?” Abby asked when the tears diminished and Shelby was wiping her red-rimmed green eyes with a tissue.
”I'm going to cut my losses, of course,” Shelby said wearily. ”I'm going to Houston tomorrow. I have a cousin there who'll let me stay with her until I can figure out where I'm going. I'll phone her later. I just need a little time to think. I can't do it here.”
”What about your job?” Abby persisted, grasping at straws to keep Shelby from doing something stupid.
”Tammy and Mr. Holman are getting along very well,” Shelby said. ”As a matter of fact, I think they're very likely going to get married in the not-too-distant future. Tammy will take care of everything. I'll phone her tonight, too.”
”You can't walk out on Justin like this, without trying to talk to him,” Abby said softly, choosing her words. ”I don't know what's gone wrong, but I do know how Justin feels about you. Shelby, you didn't see him that night Calhoun took you home from the square dance. But he was heartbroken that he'd made you cry. He cares deeply about you.”
”He has a wonderful way of expressing affection,” Shelby said. ”First he tells me that we'll live separate lives, then he brings that...that man here!”
”I think he got the idea that you weren't carrying a torch for dear Tom.” Abby chuckled.
”Tom and my father were two of a kind, both out to increase their already substantial fortunes,” Shelby said. She stared down at the crumpled wet tissue. ”But what hurts the most is that my father funded Justin and Calhoun's feedlot, and I didn't know it until Justin told me tonight.” She sighed. ”No wonder he wouldn't believe what I said about Dad trying to break us up. My father surely fixed things for me. Justin will never believe me again.”
”He might listen if he knew about the baby.”
”He's not going to,” Shelby said doggedly. ”It's my baby, not his. He can go to h.e.l.l.”
Abby's breath sighed out. Shelby looked bad, and talking wasn't going to solve anything. ”Let's not discuss this now. You need to get some sleep and give this more thought when you're not so tired. Why don't you go to bed? I'll play hostess for you. I'll tell Justin you've got an upset stomach or a headache.”
”He's the only headache I've got,” Shelby said wearily.
Abby stood up, about to leave, when the door opened and Justin came in. He looked odd. Drawn and quiet and frankly puzzled.
”There's a woman here. A Miss Lester,” he added. ”She says she works with you.”
”She's our paralegal,” Shelby said dully. She wouldn't look at him. ”What does she want?”
”She's coming up the staircase now. You can ask her.” He s.h.i.+fted uncomfortably. ”How long has she worked with you?”
”Several weeks,” Shelby said. She looked up as Tammy came sheepishly into the room, looking bright-eyed and radiant. ”Hi,” she said with a smile. ”What are you doing here?”
”I couldn't wait until tomorrow to show you my ring. Look!” She extended her left hand, where a huge diamond sparkled. ”He gave it to me tonight.”
Shelby laughed and got to her feet unsteadily to hug the younger woman. ”I'm so happy for you. I had a feeling this was coming the other night, when the two of you went into his office and there was such silence!”
Tammy grinned. ”Yes. Well, we seem to have started a good deal of gossip in town, outlined as we were against the window shade.” She flushed. ”Neither of us were thinking about being observed. But since we're engaged, it will be all right.”
Justin had gone white. Abby saw his face and frowned but Shelby hadn't noticed. She was still talking to Tammy.
”Where's the boss?” she asked.
”Outside in the car, waiting impatiently. We're on our way to his parents' house to break the news. He wouldn't come in because of the party, but I just had to tell you! Isn't it great?” Tammy laughed.
”It certainly is. Congratulations!”
”Thank you. I'd better run.” She hugged Shelby again. ”See you bright and early tomorrow, okay?”
Shelby wanted to tell her that she wasn't going to be there Monday, but she couldn't, in front of Justin. Her plans to leave had to be kept secret.
”Yes,” she agreed. ”See you tomorrow. Tell the boss how happy I am for him, too,” she added with a laugh.
”Okay. And I'm sorry for interrupting,” Tammy added with a shy glance at Justin and Abby. ”But I couldn't help it! Good night.”
She left. Shelby sat down heavily. ”Thank goodness,” she told Abby with a breathless laugh. ”Now the office can get back to normal again. It's been incredible working there for the past few weeks.”
”She looks like you,” Justin said curtly.
”Yes, she does,” Abby agreed. She looked at Justin. Suddenly she knew that Justin had seen Barry Holman and Tammy in that window shade, silhouetted, and he'd thought it was Shelby. Maybe if she got out, they could talk about it and settle their differences.
”I'd better get back downstairs. Sure you're okay now?” she asked Shelby.
”I'm fine,” Shelby a.s.sured her. ”Thanks, Abby.”
”I'll make your excuses.”
Justin watched her go, searching for the right words to undo the damage he'd done. Shelby looked so wounded, so fragile. He could have shot himself for that frailty. He'd caused it by jumping to conclusions, by not listening to her. He hadn't trusted her, and now he wondered if he could ever repair the damage.
”Shelby...” he began slowly.
”I don't feel well,” she said without preamble. ”I'd like to lie down.”
”You've lost weight,” he remarked.
”Have I really?” She laughed, and it had a hollow sound. ”Please go away, Justin. I don't have a single thing to say to you. I don't even want to have to look at you after what you did to me. Inviting that man here...!”
”I had to know!”
She looked up at him as she got to her feet. Her eyes blazed angrily. ”I told you the truth. You wouldn't listen. You never have. You prefer your own interpretation, so go ahead and enjoy it. I don't care what you think anymore.”
He stiffened. His pride was going to take a few knocks before this was over, and he knew he deserved it, after the way he'd treated her.
”Why did your father break us up?”
”He wanted me to marry Tom,” she said, turning away from him. ”He didn't want a poor son-in-law. On the other hand, he didn't like to make enemies, not in a small community, so he let me be the scapegoat. You played right into his hands when you went into business for yourself. That gave him leverage, and he used it.”
”Then why did he lend me the money?” he asked curtly. ”For G.o.d's sake, it was that loan that eventually caused his downfall. It took me years to pay it back, but it wasn't in time to do him any good.”
She stared at the bed, with her back to Justin. ”It was a long time ago. You may find the past comforting, but I don't. I had great hopes for the present until you decided to start evening old scores. Now I just feel tired and I want to go to bed.”
He opened his mouth, but the words wouldn't come. He didn't know what to say. ”I...saw you. At least, I thought it was you. In the window of your office when I came to pick you up the night I got home from Wyoming,” he confessed hesitantly.
She turned. Her eyes widened. ”You thought you saw me kissing him?”
His broad shoulders lifted and fell. ”You and Tammy have similar profiles, and you'd never told me there was anyone in the office with you.”