Part 18 (2/2)
I think about it for a moment. ”You mean symbolic.”
”See. You get me. You're one of the few people who do.”
”I wonder what that says about me.”
He grins. ”It says you have awesome taste in guys. Or at least one guy.”
He grabs my hand and caresses my fingers. ”Am I it for you?”
When our eyes meet I see that his are filled with apprehension.
Even though I swallow my throat goes dry. I don't know what to say. ”I never thought about it.”
He nods, but I can still see the hurt in his eyes. I can hear Raven's warning echoing in my head. ”You can f.u.c.k Leo as much as you want just don't f.u.c.k with him.”
Is that what I'm doing right now? f.u.c.king with him? When I try to remove the watch from my wrist he stops me.
”Don't take it off.” Even though I generally disregard other people's commands for some reason I accept this one.
”Okay,” I agree.
When our eyes meet I can see a bit of the sparkle has returned to Leo's. ”I'll be here waiting for you whenever you're done with all of the other clubs and bars and restaurants and fast food places...”
”You forgot the snack shops.”
He grins. ”And the f.u.c.king snack shops. Although I have no idea why you'd even want a snack shop when you can have prime rib whenever you want.”
Now I'm the one who's grinning. ”Are you telling me you're prime rib?”
”I'm USDA Prime, Baby.”
”With a broken hip I won't be visiting any snack shops, clubs, bars or restaurants for a while. I won't even be indulging in your USDA Prime.”
”Four to six weeks.” He bites back a grin. ”I asked the doctor how long before we could have s.e.x.”
I can feel my face heat and I'm sure I'm turning red with embarra.s.sment.
”He said people ask that question all the time,” Leo adds.
”Four to six weeks is a really long time...” Implied in my question is whether he's willing to wait that long to have s.e.x.
He takes my hand and kisses my knuckles. ”You're worth the wait.”
”Are you sure?”
”s.e.x isn't the only reason I want to be with you, Brooke. Don't get me wrong. The s.e.x is fantastic, but it's not my favorite thing about you. It's not even in my top three favorite things about you.”
”I find that hard to believe.”
”Whether you believe it or not it's the truth.”
”So what are your favorite things about me?”
He holds up his index finger. ”Number one: that we can talk. About everything and anything. You take me seriously and you really listen to what I say. You don't just dismiss it because I'm not a genius like Rayne or Harper. Number two: we can make each other laugh. That's important. When you get old you may not be able to have s.e.x as much, or maybe not at all. But you can still talk and laugh. Number three: I like spending time with you. I don't mean just in bed. I like having you on the back of my bike. I like going on dates. I've never done s.h.i.+t that like before.”
I can feel myself start to tear up, but I don't want Leo to see me getting emotional. His confession makes me wonder if I feel the same way about him. If we could never have s.e.x again would I still want to spend time with him? Would I still want to be with him? Leo seems to have given the notion a lot of thought, but it's not something I've ever considered.
As much as I hate the idea of being so broken I can't even have s.e.x maybe it's a blessing in disguise. For the first time since p.u.b.erty it's physically impossible for me to be a s.l.u.t.
Physical therapy should just be called torture. It's a much more accurate description of what is going on. My doctor told me he'd release me from the hospital when I could rise out of bed, walk to a chair, sit down in a chair, rise from the chair, walk back to the bed and get back into the bed.
After my second day of being tortured by Steven, one of the hospital's staff physical therapists, (who I'm sure doubles as an enhanced interrogation technician for the CIA and water boards people in his spare time), I was finally declared ready to leave the hospital.
My first few days out of the hospital I used the walker they provided and it made me feel like a really old woman. I can't say I've ever seen anyone my age use a walker. Not that many people my age break a hip. And using the walker with the cast on my wrist proved to be quite a challenge, but Leo was with me every step of the way.
Literally.
He hasn't allowed me to take a step without being right next to me. He says he wants to make sure that I don't fall.
Harper and Nic went all out purchasing what I imagine is every piece of equipment available for my recovery and therapy. Luckily the physical therapist they hired to a.s.sist me at home is a little less strict than Steven was. Franny seems to actually have a heart when she insists I move my body in ways it doesn't want to move.
”That's all for today,” Franny says after I finish using the exercise ball.
I was never in great shape to begin with. Being an addict isn't exactly conducive to exercise. And let's be real. I don't actually like to exercise. But Franny insists that the only way to strengthen my bones is through working out.
This could be the first time in my life I've actually followed directions and done something that was good for me.
”Thanks, Franny,” I say as she packs up towels and throws them into her tote bag.
”You're doing great, Kiddo.”
Franny is probably about my mom's age, but sometimes it's hard to tell. She has the type of face that probably looked forty when she was twenty and hasn't seemed to age in twenty years.
”You should be good as new in no time.” She throws her tote over her shoulder then gives me a huge, crooked grin.
”I was never really that good,” I admit.
She frowns. ”What are you talking about? You're young and beautiful. You've got a great guy who obviously cares about you. You've got your whole life ahead of you.”
I heave a sigh. ”I'm not sure I even know who I am anymore.”
She takes a seat on a stool next to me. ”What do you mean?”
”My life fell apart long before the accident. That was just like the icing on the s.h.i.+t cake. Ever since I was a teenager I've been reckless. A carefree party girl. A drunk. A s.l.u.t. I really don't know who I am if I'm not any of those things anymore.”
<script>