Part 13 (2/2)
She laughs, but it's not an amused laugh. It's wicked one. ”It has everything to do with you.”
As I start to rise she scowls. I quickly sit back down again.
”We're not done,” she hisses.
”Okay,” the word feels like it's stuck in my throat.
”I don't care if you f.u.c.k Leo. Just don't f.u.c.k with him. Understand?”
”Not really.”
”Do whatever you want with his d.i.c.k. Just don't mess with his heart. He's got a really big one. And I don't want someone like you breaking it.”
”Someone like me?” I fire back. ”Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?”
Her charcoal eyes narrow to angry slits. ”I'm nothing like you.”
”On what planet,” I counter. ”You sleep with a band. All of them.”
”Not anymore.” There's a note of pain in her normally hard voice.
We both examine each other. Maybe there really is a big difference between us. She seems to actually care a lot about the guys she f.u.c.ks. Most of the time I don't even care enough to learn their names.
”I'm not going to break Leo's heart,” I tell her. ”He knows things aren't serious.”
”Just because you say they aren't doesn't make it so.”
I'm not sure how to respond. I know she's never going to like me. We're not ever going to be besties and have lunch or go shopping together.
”Just watch yourself,” she warns. ”I don't think you have any idea how deep of an ocean you're already in.”
She's right. I just imagined splas.h.i.+ng around in the kiddie pool for a while. An ocean seems too ma.s.sive for me to navigate right now.
”Thanks for the advice. Can I go now?”
”I never said you couldn't.”
I run as quickly as I can away from Raven. But I feel like I'm not just running from her. I'm running from myself as well. So many different thoughts are swirling through my head. Why did I think it was a good idea to f.u.c.k Leo? Raven's right. I was being selfish and I wasn't thinking about his feelings. I wanted to get laid and Leo is always eager and willing. I never imagined Leo could really get hurt. I didn't think about the consequences-only about getting some action. And Leo certainly does know how to provide first-rate action.
Maybe I need to go to a meeting. I can feel the old familiar patterns setting in. I don't want to deal with my s.h.i.+t so I find a way to escape. Instead of the bottle I've been escaping into Leo's bed. The problem is that this time I won't just hurt myself, I'll hurt him too. Leo is the last person I want to hurt. When I spot Harper jogging toward the orchard I remember that I'm supposed to be meeting her for a run.
I hightail it back to my room and change into some semblance of athletic gear as quickly as I can. I throw my hair into a high ponytail and head back out the door. Completely preoccupied and obviously not paying much attention to where I'm going I slam right into Xander.
Of all Nic's family he's the person with whom I've interacted the least. We haven't said more than a few polite words to each other. So I'm surprised when he grabs a hold of my arms.
”Whoa, where are you off to in such a hurry?”
”I'm supposed to be meeting Harper for a jog,” I tell him, but he still doesn't release me from his grasp.
”Mind if I tag along for a few minutes?”
I gulp. After the grilling Raven gave me I'm not sure I want to hear what Leo's older brother has to say to me. ”I'm kind of in a hurry...”
When he replies, ”So am I” I realize he's not going to let me off the hook.
”Sure, whatever.”
”Good.” He gives me a plastered fake smile as he finally releases me from his grip.
I walk as fast as I possibly can without making it seem like I'm running away from Xander, but he manages to keep up with me without much effort.
”Is there something you want to talk about?” I ask, wanting to get whatever this is about out of the way as quickly as possible.
He nods. ”Yup.”
I wait for him to say whatever it is he wants to say.
”Why?” he finally asks. I realize Xander isn't a person of many words, but that's all he says: Why?
”Why what?” I probe.
”Why do you like Leo? Why do you want to be with him?”
I laugh then cough because I'm walking too fast and I'm already getting winded. I decide to slow down the pace because I still have to run with Harper.
”Is that a trick question?” I fire back.
”I'm being serious,” he replies. Xander is the more serious of the three guys in Always Rayne, but today he seems particularly somber.
”He's good in bed.” I state the obvious.
”So that's it? You just want to f.u.c.k him?”
I stop walking and turn to face Xander. ”I never made any promises. I've been straight with Leo since we met. We both like s.e.x and we like having s.e.x with each other. That's it.”
”That's cold.”
I frown. ”That's rich coming from a guy who regularly f.u.c.ks whoever he wants whenever he wants and doesn't even give it a second thought. So it's okay for you to be a man-wh.o.r.e because you're a rock star, but when I f.u.c.k who I want it's a problem. I'm a cold b.i.t.c.h.”
His mouth is a thin line and I can see his eyes fill with anger. ”It's a problem when you f.u.c.k with Leo.”
I place my hands on my hips. ”So I've heard.”
”He's my little brother. I've always looked out for him since we were kids. I've never seen him-I don't know-he's never acted like this before.”
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