Part 10 (1/2)

Leo As I pack my s.h.i.+t I can't help but think that it's the end of an era. Time for me to grow up and stop f.u.c.king around. Time for me to stop playing house with Raven and Xander.

And if I get what I want I'll be f.u.c.king Brooke. Exclusively. All for me. All mine. And not just now.

Always.

Of course convincing her of that might prove to be a challenge. But I've never s.h.i.+ed away from a challenge. I've always been a fighter.

And Brooke is someone definitely worth fighting for.

Being with her again was like throwing a life preserver to a drowning man. I didn't even realize I was going down until she brought me back up again.

Once I've got all my clothes in my duffel bag I open the drawer of the nightstand and grab half of the pile of condoms and toss them into my bag.

”Think you're going to use all those?” Raven asks. I didn't even hear her come in.

I don't bother to respond. I just zip my bag.

There's only one more thing I want. The mutant orange Brooke gave me that I placed on top of the dresser. The one that I can't stop eyeing every time I walk by because Brooke said it reminded her of me.

”What the f.u.c.k is that?” Raven points to the mutant fruit.

”What does it look like?” I snap back.

She looks like I slapped her and I immediately feel bad about it. I know things have to change between us if I want to be with Brooke, but it still hurts. More than I thought it would.

”I don't like it.” She's staring at the fruit like it's diseased.

”What have you got against citrus?”

”I'm not talking about the d.a.m.n fruit.” When she looks up at me, I notice that her eyes are damp. It tugs at my heartstrings. Raven's not a sensitive person and I rarely see her cry.

”What are you talking about?” I swallow hard. I'm not sure I want to have this conversation with her, yet part of me knows it's inevitable.

”That girl.” It's hard for me to believe that Raven's eyes are filled with so much pain. She's always been hard as stone.

”You can say her name.”

She shakes her head. ”I don't like her.”

I roll my eyes. ”You're the one who approved her. Remember? The only way girls get into our bedrooms when we're on tour is to go through you. You approve all of the girls we hook up with when we're on the road.”

And Raven saves us a lot of headaches later. Unlike some of the other guys in rock bands that we know none of us has ever gotten hit with a paternity suit, or rape charges, or any other legal or medical issues. And we all know it's thanks to Raven.

”I approved her for a f.u.c.k and chuck. That's all. I didn't think you'd fall in love with her.”

I throw up my hands. ”Whoa, wait a minute. Don't start using the L word. I never said anything about falling in love.”

”You're crazy about her, Leo. You're falling hard and fast. You just haven't fully accepted it yet.”

I shake my head. ”I don't think it's...that. We're just f.u.c.king around.”

She gives me a cynical laugh. ”You can't even say love? Seriously? Tell me why you've got a f.u.c.king stupid orange on the dresser. Because little Brooke Rhodes gave it to you that's why. You haven't touched me or any other girl in weeks. I think that says something.”

I grab Raven and pull her close. I need to prove her wrong. It's no secret that I want Brooke, but there's no way in h.e.l.l I'm falling in love with her.

As I close my eyes and put my lips on Raven's all I can think about is Brooke. I can almost smell her light scent. And the way she teases my lips ever so lightly with her tongue. My chest tightens when I realize I how badly I want Brooke yet I'm holding Raven in my arms.

Before I have a chance to move away Raven pushes me so hard I nearly fall over.

”What did you do that for?” I yell as I do my best to steady myself.

”You know what it was for,” she snaps.

”Why don't you enlighten me?”

She shoves me in the chest. ”Don't ever f.u.c.king do that again.”

”Do what?” I glare at her.

”Think about her while you're kissing me.”

My mouth opens to protest, but I know she's got me. And I can't lie to Raven.

She slams her hand into my chest again. She's starting to make it a habit. I can tell she's upset, but I'm strong and I can take it. If hitting me will help she can have at it. ”I'm not going to be some subst.i.tute f.u.c.k when Brooke doesn't want to spread her legs for you.”

That stings. Girls never say no to me, but Brooke has me on a string like some friggen puppet. She definitely calls the shots.

”That's not-this isn't...”

As she looks at me through narrowed eyes it's like she's looking through me. ”You think you can prove that you don't love her by kissing me?”

I sit down on the bed and rest my head in my hands. I rub my temples for a few moments, hoping that by some miracle I can erase Brooke Rhodes from my head and I won't be crazy in love with her. Of course it doesn't work. She's still taking up more of my brain capacity than a guy like me can spare. Raven is right. I do love her. Too fast and too deep. I'm all in already.

Raven plops down on the bed next to me. ”I'm sorry,” she whispers.

That's a first. Raven never apologies to anyone for anything.

”I'm sorry too,” I tell her. ”This is all really f.u.c.ked up.”

”I'm scared,” she says. Her voice is so small and so un-Raven-like I'm not sure I heard her correctly.

”Raven doesn't get scared,” I tell her.

”Bulls.h.i.+t,” she spits back.

When I look over at her I see her eyes are damp again. Something more is definitely going on. ”What is it? Be real, okay?”

She heaves a sigh before she begins. ”I always expected Nic to find someone. I didn't imagine it would be someone like Harper, but it makes sense. It still hurt though, you know? We were together so long. All four of us. And then one day we weren't. He was with Harper and the four became three. Now that things are happening with Brooke...”