Part 97 (1/2)
”Yes, read it, Loskiel, before I burn it,” he said drearily. ”I do not desire to have it discovered on my body after death.”
I took the single sheet of paper and read:
”Lieutenant Thomas Boyd, ”Rifle Corps, ”Sir:
”For the last time, I venture to importune you in behalf of one for whose present despair you are entirely responsible. Pitying her unhappy condition, I have taken her as companion to me since we are arrived at Easton, and shall do what lies within my power to make her young life as endurable as may be.
”You, sir, on your return from the present campaign, have it in your power to make the only reparation possible. I trust that your heart and your sense of honour will so incline you.
”As for me, Mr. Boyd, I make no complaint, desire no sympathy, expect none. What I did was my fault alone. Knowing that I was falling in love with you, and at the same time aware what kind of man you had been and must still be, I permitted myself to drift into deeper waters, too weak of will to make an end, too miserable to put myself beyond the persuasion of your voice and manner. And perhaps I might never have found courage to give you up entirely had I not been startled into comprehension by what I learned concerning the poor child in whose behalf I now am writing.
”That instantly sobered me, ending any slightest spark of hope that I might have in my secret heart still guarded. For, with my new and terrible knowledge, I understood that I must pa.s.s instantly and completely out of your life; and you out of mine. Only your duty remained--not to me, but to this other and more unhappy one. And that path I pray that you will follow when a convenient opportunity arises.
”I am, sir y' ob't, etc., etc.
”Magdalene Helmer.
”P. S. If you love me, Tom, do your full duty in the name of G.o.d!
”Lana.”
I handed the letter back to him in silence. He stared at it, not seeing the written lines, I think, save as a blurr; and after a long while he leaned forward and laid it on the coals.
”If I am not already foredoomed,” he said to me, ”what Lana bids me do that I shall do. It is best, is it not, Loskiel?”
”A clergyman is fitter to reply to you than I.”
”Do you not think it best that I marry Dolly Glenn?”
”G.o.d knows. It is all too melancholy and too terrible for me to comprehend the right and wrong of it, or how a penitence is best made.
Yet, as you ask me, it seems to me that what she will one day become should claim your duty and your future. The weakest ever has the strongest claim.”
”Yes, it-is true. I stand tonight so fettered to an unborn soul that nothing can unloose me.... I wish that I might live.”
”You will live! You must live!”
”Aye, 'must' and 'will' are twins of different complexions, Loskiel....
Yet, if I live, I shall live decently and honestly hereafter in the sight of G.o.d and--Lana Helmer.”
We said nothing more. About ten o'clock Boyd rose and went away all alone. Half an hour later he came back, followed by some score and more of men, a dozen of our own battalion, half a dozen musket-men of the 4th Pennsylvania Regiment, three others, two Indians, Hanierri, the headquarters Oneida guide, and Yoiakim, a Stockbridge.
”Volunteers,” he said, looking sideways at me. ”I know how to take Amochol; but I must take him in my own manner.”
I ventured to remind him of the General's instructions that we find the Chinisee Castle and report at sunrise.
”d.a.m.n it, I know it,” he retorted impatiently, ”but I have my own plans; and the General will bear me out when I fling Amochol's scalp at his feet.”
The Grey-Feather drew me aside and said in a low, earnest voice: