Part 18 (1/2)

”_Whisk._ I thank thee, Fortune, that hast thus bestowed A weapon to chastise this insolent. [_Takes up one of the swords_.]

_Beef._ I take thy challenge, Spaniard, and I thank thee, Fortune, too! [_Takes up the other sword_.]”

_Dang._ That's excellently contrived!--It seems as if the two uncles had left their swords on purpose for them.

_Puff._ No, egad, they could not help leaving them.

”_Whisk_. Vengeance and Tilburina!

_Beef_. Exactly so-- [_They fight--and after the usual number of wounds given_, WHISKERANDOS _falls_.]

_Whisk_. O cursed parry!--that last thrust in tierce Was fatal.--Captain, thou hast fenced well! And Whiskerandos quits this bustling scene For all eter-- _Beef_.--nity--he would have added, but stern death Cut short his being, and the noun at once!”

_Puff_. Oh, my dear sir, you are too slow: now mind me.-- Sir, shall I trouble you to die again?

”_Whisk_. And Whiskerandos quits this bustling scene For all eter-- _Beef_.--nity--he would have added,--”

_Puff_. No, sir--that's not it--once more, if you please.

_Whisk_. I wish, sir, you would practise this without me--I can't stay dying here all night.

_Puff_. Very well; we'll go over it by-and-by.--[_Exit_ WHISKERANDOS.] I must humour these gentlemen!

”_Beef_. Farewell, brave Spaniard! and when next--”

_Puff_. Dear sir, you needn't speak that speech, as the body has walked off.

_Beef_. That's true, sir--then I'll join the fleet.

_Puff_. If you please.--[Exit BEEFEATER.] Now, who comes on?

”_Enter_ GOVERNOR, _with his hair properly disordered_.

_Gov_. A hemisphere of evil planets reign! And every planet sheds contagious frenzy! My Spanish prisoner is slain! my daughter, Meeting the dead corse borne along, has gone Distract!

[_A loud flourish of trumpets_.] But hark! I am summoned to the fort: Perhaps the fleets have met! amazing crisis! O Tilburina! from thy aged father's beard Thou'st pluck'd the few brown hairs which time had left! [Exit.]”

_Sneer_. Poor gentleman!

_Puff_. Yes--and no one to blame but his daughter!

_Dang_. And the planets-- _Puff_. True.--Now enter Tilburina!

_Sneer._ Egad, the business comes on quick here.

_Puff._ Yes, sir--now she comes in stark mad in white satin.

_Sneer._ Why in white satin?

_Puff._ O Lord, sir--when a heroine goes mad, she always goes into white satin.--Don't she, Dangle?

_Dang._ Always--it's a rule.