Part 44 (1/2)
”I--I didn't understand.”
”No,” he said gently, ”no.”
”You see how hopeless I am?”
”I see what my responsibility would be if I left you to yourself.”
”And--_what_ do you want to do?”
”I want to provide for you and your future.”
”Dear Robert, you can't possibly provide--for either.”
”I can. I've got a little house in the country, if you'll take it, and I can spare enough out of my income.”
She smiled.
”You can't afford it.”
”If I could afford to marry, I could afford that.”
”I see. It's a beautiful scheme, Robert. And in the little house where I'm to live, you will come sometimes, and see me?”
”I think it would be better not.”
”And what am I to do, if--if things are too hard for me? And if you are the only one----?”
”_Then_ you're to send for me.”
”I see. I've only to send for you and you'll come?”
”Of course I'll come.”
”When I can't bear it any longer, am I to send for you?”
”You're to send for me when you're in any trouble, or any difficulty--or any danger.”
”And the way out of the trouble--and the difficulty--and the danger?”
”Between us we shall find the way.”
”No, Robert. Between us we shall lose it. And we shall never, never find it again.”
”You can't trust me, Kitty?”
”I can't trust myself. I know how your scheme would work. I let you do this thing; I go away and live in the dear little house you'll give me; and I let you keep me there, and give me all my clothes and things. And you think that's the way to stop me thinking about you and caring for you? I shall be there, eating my heart out. What else can I do, when everything I put on or have about me reminds me of you, every minute of the day? I'm to look to you for everything, but never to see you until I can bear it no longer. How long do you think I shall bear it? A woman made like me? You know perfectly well what the trouble and the difficulty and the danger is. I shall be in it all the time. And some day I shall send for you and you'll come. Oh yes, you'll come; for you'll be in it, too. It won't be a bit easier for you than it is for me.”
She paused.
”You'll come. And you know what the end of that will be.”