Vol 6 Chapter 5.1 (1/2)
CHAPTER 5
Who am I? A man seeking happiness. I sought it in my l.u.s.ts and did not find it. And all who live as I did fail to find it.
It was summer, and I had just turned twenty when I was chosen as a core member of the rebirth project.
When I was born, this planet was already in the midst of danger. Due to numerous wars, pollution, and environmental destruction, over half of the territory on earth had been devastated to the point of becoming inhabitable for human life.
Global warming had sparked a spread of whole new contagious diseases; weather patterns were abnormal and unpredictable; wars between nations and tribes were neverending; nuclear weapons were being used.
By the time we realized it, humankind had driven itself to the verge of extinction. We survivors only realized after being this close to the edge that we had to reflect on the foolishness of our actions.
Our national framework had long crumbled away. So we thought, why not live life over again? This time, let's live our lives proper, and not make the same mistake.
The people who had managed to survive on this planet crossed the borders of race, nationality and ethnic origin, and vowed to live humbly upon the foundations of peace and harmony.
And so six cities were born.
There were not many regions left which were suitable for human life. Half of humankind had died out. People gathered in those limited regions, and gradually began to build their own cities.
There was once a city here as well. It was a beautiful city. There was an almost miraculous amount of abundant nature still left intact on this stretch of land. Admittedly, there was no ocean―but there were deep forests, lakes and marshes, and plains. Yes: it was indeed miraculous. It was a place of miracles, like the rose that blooms in the midst of blasted pieces of rubble.
The city was established, and the people lived quietly, abiding by their vow. I was born in that city. I was born, I grew up, and I became a researcher. So did your mother, s.h.i.+on.
Having said so, the elder smiled.
”My mother?”
”Yes. Karan grew up in the same town, and she lived there too.”
”What kind of relations.h.i.+p did you have with my mother?”
The elder's smile widened. It carried a hint of boyishness. ”We were childhood friends.”
”Huh?”
”Karan and I were childhood friends. I was much older than her, but we often played together. Karan was very skilled at climbing trees, and she could scramble up any of them, no matter how big. It often made me nervous, how daring she could be sometimes. Yes, I remember. She was a beautiful and free-thinking girl. To think she is now a mother with a grown son...”
”I don't care about s.h.i.+on's mother,” Nezumi interrupted. ”Or did you and Karan fall in love, and was s.h.i.+on born? Is that how it's gonna unfold? That would be an interesting twist.”
”Nezumi!” s.h.i.+on said sharply.
Nezumi shrugged, throwing a glance at him. ”Third-rate plays are usually written like that. Rou, I want you to speed it up. You said so yourself: we don't have time. There was a city, and you were born and raised there, and became a researcher. Then you were chosen as a member of the rebirth project. From there... things started going haywire.”
The elder drew a breath. ”Is that what you think?”
”I do. Just look at the name, 'rebirth project'. It sounds phony already. What are you gonna rebirth? What were you planning on reviving, anyway? No wait, I already know the answer. The city got repaired, albeit only barely. Life was getting back on track for most people. They were freed from their days of being bedmates with death and extinction. Then after a few more years down the road, you were ready to forget your past mistakes. You wanted to abandon your vow, and dominate over the land again. That was what the project was for. They were probably gathering intelligent young people. It was the start of a project to become more developed, more powerful, more wealthy. Am I right?”
Nezumi knitted his brow. Hatred and loathing were chiseled into his refined profile. He spat the words from his mouth.
”Fools.”
The elder's body trembled and grew rigid as if the word had struck him like a whip.
”Repeating your past mistakes: it's the epitome of foolishness. But you wanted to dominate. You contrived to make yourselves more plentiful by using the people and things around you as stepping stones. As a result, a hideous monster was born in a land that was once like a rose in the ruins. That was No. 6.”
More developed, more powerful, more wealthy. Was No. 6 what towered at the end of this desire? s.h.i.+on also felt himself tremble.
”It was in a blink of an eye,” the elder sighed. ”The city grew at astonis.h.i.+ng speeds. Sometimes I wonder if it hadn't all been a nightmare.”
”It's reality. It's unmistakable, and you guys created it. Rou, weren't the people at the centre of the rebirth project the same people who are at the administrative core of No. 6 right now?”
”They were all there. Everyone was young and intelligent. Each one of them had his own strong ideal.”
”All the faces in this photo?”
”Yes. However, they are not the entire group. That―is from when Karan came to visit my lab. I remember, the person who took this photo was a young journalist who was here to do research. He also had his own ideals and sense of duty as a journalist.”
”Well, he's just an alcoholic geezer now. He probably has less sense of duty left than the dirt under his nails. But even he's a hundred times better than you people. He let the alcohol get to his head―but not his ideologies. Each had his own strong ideal, huh? And this is where it took everyone in the end?”
”Nezumi―I want you to believe this much. We tried to found an ideal city here, a Paradise free of war and poverty... where we could have gone wrong, I don't know...”
Nezumi laughed scornfully. ”People can't become G.o.d. Humans can't create Paradise. You guys thought you could be G.o.d, an almighty Creator. You thought you were all-powerful. That moment is when you fell. You began to corrupt. The cogwheels started turning backwards. You stopped paying heed to people's feelings, and their suffering and brutality were no longer in your line of sight. All you had was your greed to satisfy your ideologies―no, your own selfish desires. In order to achieve that, you thought you would be forgiven for doing anything. You didn't even need to beg for forgiveness―begging was below you. What Paradise? All you did was create an arrogant and ruthless monster surrounded by alloy walls, and turn everywhere else around it into h.e.l.l.”
There was no heat in Nezumi's words. They rang out coldly, and at a measured pace. But s.h.i.+on could perceive the stormy emotions whipping about inside Nezumi. He could hear the inferno raging.
”By the time I had realized it―” the elder said, ”the change in No. 6 had already begun. The walls were built, which isolated it from its surroundings. It leeched the wealth of everything around it, and tried to sustain itself solely within its walls. An absolute authority was born, and organizations to support that absolute authority sprang up and established themselves.”
”Were you too engrossed in your experiments to notice anything? That doesn't make you any less guilty.”
”Of course. My crime is grave. I was, after all... on the side which ma.s.sacred your family and friends.”
”What?” s.h.i.+on sat up without thinking. He looked back and forth at the faces of Nezumi and the elder.
”So it's true,” Nezumi murmured. His tone was almost the opposite of before, somewhat frail and uncertain. ”So it's true. That's how it is, then. I knew that you'd been exiled from No. 6 and become part of the underground people. I had a sneaking suspicion that you played a central role in the birth of No. 6. But to think you were part of that ma.s.sacre... I didn't want to think that could be true.”
”Ma.s.sacre? Nezumi, what's this about?”
”The history of No. 6. The Mao Ma.s.sacre. Over a hundred people were murdered.”
”Mao Ma.s.sacre...”
”Bet you've never even heard of it.”
”No, I haven't... this is my first time.”
”Nothing to be embarra.s.sed about. No one knows about it, except for the perpetrators and the victims. It's probably the incident in which No. 6 revealed its hideous rearing head for the first time. That's why it was covered up. There are no records. But it's in my memory, and it'll never fade. It's burned an image that'll never disappear.”
”When did it happen?”
”Twelve years ago.”
”Twelve years! So I was already born.”
”Long born. You'd already been certified as an elite, and you would have been living in your mansion in Chronos by that time. What an active and adorable little boy you must have been.”
s.h.i.+on found himself grabbing Nezumi's arm.
”Tell me. What happened? Who got killed? Is it the Hunt? Is it something that happened in the West Block?”
”No.”
”Then, where?”
”In the forest.”
”Forest? You mean the woods that spread to the north?”
Nezumi brushed s.h.i.+on's fingers away. At the same time, he turned his body and dug his own fingers into s.h.i.+on's arm.
”Listen.” Nezumi's breath was on his earlobe. It was cold. ”I'll tell you.” His fingers drew away from s.h.i.+on's arm and pressed against his throat, slowly tracing the red mark that snaked around it.
”You have a red scar, a gift from the parasite wasp, right?”
”Not a gift I was happy to get.”
”I have one too. A gift from No. 6, if you will.”
”Huh?”
Nezumi cast off his s.h.i.+rt. He half-turned to show his back. s.h.i.+on felt his throat close up. His breath caught.
”Nezumi, this―”
There was a raised scar on the smooth skin between Nezumi's shoulders and hips. It was about the size of an adult palm. That spot was coloured pale pink, and was taut like a burn scar. It looked even more out-of-place because of the smoothness of the skin around it. It looked like a gigantic spider was splayed over his back.
”Keloids, huh...”
”Yeah. Graciously given to me twelve years ago.”
s.h.i.+on stretched out his hand to touch the spot which looked like it could be the spider's head. He slid his fingertip along the scar as if to trace its outline. Nezumi did not resist. He stood like a statue as if to give in to the movement of s.h.i.+on's fingertips.
”I never... noticed.” s.h.i.+on let out a sigh almost without thinking. Not once four years ago, when he had treated the graze wound on Nezumi's shoulder, nor in these past few months they spent together, did he notice. Had Nezumi skilfully hidden it from him?
”Of course.” Nezumi crouched suddenly, and retrieved his s.h.i.+rt. ”What reason do I have to show you? I'd have to get naked. You wouldn't wanna be stark naked in front of me either, would you? Even though I've had the privilege of seeing it once already.”
”Well... but...” He wished Nezumi would have revealed it. He wished Nezumi had revealed this scar earlier. He wanted Nezumi to speak about the past which surrounded it. s.h.i.+on didn't have the right to accuse him of why he had hidden it up until now, and why he had said nothing. But that was why he wanted Nezumi to open up and tell him. If only he had earlier...
s.h.i.+on knew he would have done so. He would expose his body, his mind, his scars, and where his heart lay. He had done so before. Nezumi doesn't trust me completely. He hasn't acknowledged me as someone who is worth exposing everything to. What can I do to bridge this barrier between us, this chasm?
He gritted his teeth.
That's enough. This isn't the time to be wallowing in my emotions. This isn't such a forgiving situation, I know that much.
Keloids. Abnormal raising of the scar. Due to a burn?
”We were burned,” Nezumi said, as if he had seen right through s.h.i.+on's heart. His voice was brittle. It became a force of impact that slammed into s.h.i.+on.
”Burned? ...What do you mean, burned?”