Part 21 (1/2)

”But you gonna make it.”

I looked at Paul. He nodded. ”You were in surgery for fifteen hours,” he said. ”You got a drain in your right side.”

I nodded very carefully. ”I figured that was what that was.”

And then I faded out again. And woke up in daylight again with a frizz-headed doctor looking at me.

”I just want you to know,” I said, ”that I'm opposed to socialized medicine.”

”Me too,” he said. ”My name is McCafferty, I did most of the work on your thoracic cavity when they brought you in here.”

”Too late now, but I think my health insurance lapsed,” I said.

He smiled. ”We'll find a way,” he said. ”Do you want the details of what happened to you medically?”

”Sure.”

”First, I've never seen anyone as dead as you were come back. You are one tough specimen.”

”But gentle of heart,” I said.

”Yes. Well, you took two bullets. Thirty-eight caliber. One went in here.” He touched my right side lightly, and for the next ten minutes told me in graphic detail what had happened to my thoracic cavity as a result of being hit with two .38-caliber bullets.

”And there's nothing permanent'?”

He shook his head. ”As far as I can tell, there is no permanently disabling condition. In two or three months you'll be as good as you ever were.”

”I was hoping for better,” I said.

”Settle for what you were,” he said. ”It was what enabled you to survive. Tell you the truth, I didn't think you'd make it either. The black man who brought you in was the only one. He said you'd come back.”

”I was a long ways away,” I said. ”Thank you.”

McCafferty smiled. ”My pleasure,” he said.

I closed my eyes, and began to drift. I could feel McCafferty still there. I half opened my eyes and he was looking down at me.

”Interesting,” he said half aloud. ”Interesting as h.e.l.l.”

I closed my eyes again and drifted away.

CHAPTER 46.

Linda came when she could. I was sitting up having some beef broth when she came an her lunch hour. The drain was still in my side, but most of the raw feeling was gone, and the IV apparatus was unhooked. She kissed me as hard as my condition permitted.

”Have you talked with Susan yet?” she said.

”No. She called and Paul told her I was out of town.”

”Why don't you tell her?”

”Because she'd come,” I said. ”She'd come because she'd feel I needed her, not because she simply wanted to be with me.”

”And that won't do?”

”No. When she wants to see me just because she wants to, not because I've been shot, or she might lose me, or she's afraid of something in her life, then I will want to see her.”

”She will,” Linda said.

”We'll see.”

”She will. I would.” I held her hand.

”I don't know what will become of us if that happens,” I said.

”You mean we might not be able to be lovers?”

”Maybe not,” I said. ”I don't know. I can't say for sure. But maybe not.”

Linda began to cry. As she cried she talked. ”For crissake,” she said. ”She's s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g another guy, she walked out and left you, and won't even tell you where she is. She hasn't even explained why she left exactly.”

”She doesn't know,” I said. ”Exactly.”

”So how long, for crissake, will you wait for her. What does she have to do to make you give it up?”

I put my soup down, and tried to keep my breathing easy.

”There's no deadline,” I said. ”And no conditions.”

”So the fact we love each other and might be happy together and she's banging some guy in California, or maybe several, that doesn't mean anything. If she comes back, you chase right home to her?”

”I don't know,” I said. ”I don't know who she'll be or who I'll be, or what will come out of this. I'm saying only that I can't promise. You've known that since we started.”

”And you won't give up,” she said.

I shook my head. Linda put her hands over her face.

I reached out from the bed, but I couldn't reach her. Her eyes were red and her face was puffy when she lifted her head from her hands.

”What kind of a man accepts that,” she said. ”Allows a woman to treat him that way and keeps hanging on.”

”My kind,” I said. ”It's why I wouldn't die. I'm going to see this through. I'm going to find out how it comes out. I love you, Linda. But I . . .” It was hard to say.