Part 20 (1/2)

It meant that somewhere out there, someone was dying. Being tortured for vital organs, while we sat around and waited to find a body. I was going stir-crazy inside the house, even though I normally stuck to my bedroom reading in our apartment, being inside this place with Ryder under the same roof was driving me insane.

I almost jumped as a knock sounded from the door disturbing my thoughts and the couple chattering on the other side of the room. Wasn't sure why they were inside my room prattling on but I was glad they were there. I was just about to yell open, but the person had already walked in before the words left my lips. Adrian stood there with his eyes locked onto me.

I came off my back quickly, placing my bare feet down onto the carpeted floor. I swallowed the lump that swiftly filled my throat as his turquoise eyes swept the room and landed on me. I didn't know what to say, I wanted to ask him why he was here, why he had lied and hidden from us but I knew I wouldn't accept the answer no matter what it was. The truth was he'd left us.

”Can I talk to you Syn?” Adrian asked shoving his hands firmly in his pockets.

I looked around the room and nodded, still unable to talk over the growing lump. Adam and Larissa had remained silent, waiting to finally get the explanation from him as I had been. I stood nervously already reading his expression, we'd been that close.

”Alone?” He asked the others.

I turned to ask the others to leave but Adrian stopped me.

”Outside Fancy Face, the walls have ears,” he said smoothly as his eyes looked at the walls as if they would object.

”Okay,” I said looking down at my still bare feet, ”Let me grab something for my feet.” I bent down turning the flip flops over and dug my feet into them.

As we moved down the hallway, Adrian commented on their relations.h.i.+p. ”Knew they'd end up together,” he said with a grin.

”Did you now.” I mumbled sarcastically, trying to stop my hands from fisting up as I figured out what to do with them, I settled on crossing them over my chest as I stood awkwardly in my pink sweat pants that said Sa.s.sy Girl across my b.u.t.t. The s.h.i.+rt I was wearing wasn't much better. It was the White Zombie one I'd gotten at the concert we had gone as a group to a few years ago, that said Living Dead Girl across the breast area.

”They hate me,” he said silently.

”What do you expect Adrian? You ditched us, not the other way around,” I said through clenched teeth.

”Ryder said we could talk by the pool, but I think I'd rather walk the grounds,” he said as we made our way down the stairs. It was awkward to be walking next to someone you had spent years wis.h.i.+ng you could have one last conversation with, one last kiss.

I couldn't think of anything I wanted to say and it all seemed so different now. I was a different person than I'd been before meeting Ryder. If this had happened before I'd met him I would have thrown my arms around Adrian without caring what had happened, or why. Don't get me wrong, I'd still be p.i.s.sed, but I missed him and it was a relief to know I hadn't gotten him killed.

We ended up walking a trail that started from the driveway and walked through thick greenery. Neither of us said anything at first as if we were afraid to. I know I was. He wasn't the same guy he'd been. ”What's it like?” I finally asked letting the curiosity get the better of me.

”Being dead?” He asked with a s.e.xy smirk.

”Yeah,” I quickly looked away as something crunched a few feet away from us.

”It's not as bad as I thought it would be. I don't care for the having to feed part, but mix it with s.e.x and it's amazing,” he replied still smiling as he placed his hands back in the pockets of his jeans.

He'd been having s.e.x and I'd been Miss-Do-It-Myself. Great! I waited for the jealousy to come, but it was muted when it did. I rubbed my arms feeling the cool air flow over them as my eyes scanned the area wondering if we had been tailed.

”I didn't have a choice Fancy Face. The Vampire who did this to me, well he handed me a picture of you. Said he would turn you if I didn't change. Vlad was worried we'd be sent after him, so he sent his version of a hit squad out that night. I did what I had to keep you and the others safe. You didn't know it Syn, but they were inches from you that night. Showed me where you were and then showed me the vamp standing beside you. We were so c.o.c.ky back then, reckless,” he smiled as I turned to look at him.

”So you went with them? We were strong Adrian, we could have fought them!” I was p.i.s.sed, ”That should have been my decision to make Adrian and you took it without asking us. We'd have fought for you!”

”And died Fancy Face, you would have died. That wasn't something I could have lived with-ever.”

”And what if we had won? Then you would still be alive,” I blanched and continued, ”Or more than you are right now anyways. Dammit Adrian, I buried you!” I was shaking with anger, rage and guilt.

”Baby I couldn't take that chance,” his eyes searched my face as he closed the distance between us and curled me against him in a tight embrace, ”You were my life Syn, I couldn't chance it because I knew you would fight them and I knew you'd die. It was a choice, me for you. I took it and yes, maybe I should've had more faith in you, but at the time I was given a choice and I made it.”

He was cold, his body was more muscled than it had been, but where it had once been warm, it was cold and his scent had changed. He smelled of earth and his cologne he had always worn made me smile. I listened to his empty chest before pulling away in time to catch him sniffing me. Did I stink to his undead senses?

I looked up into his face as he cupped my cheek in his cold hand, ”Did you miss me?”

”Would it matter?” I asked knowing he already knew I had missed him.

”I saw you at my grave, every day for the first few weeks after I left. Then when work got busy at the Guild you came on the weekends. Do you have any idea how hard it was to stay away from you until I could contain this eternal f.u.c.king hunger?”

”Is this where I say sorry? Because I would have fought, if we had died Adrian, then so be it. Everyone dies sometime and I'd have died to prevent what you've become any day of the f.u.c.king week.”

He frowned and nodded letting his arm drop from my face. ”I can change you Syn, we could be together forever. Never growing old. Never be apart.”

”I wouldn't abandon my coven so easily Adrian and who says I don't want to grow old? You made a choice. Don't a.s.sume you can make mine as well. I'm what I was born to be, what my parents died for. They died making sure I stayed alive, I won't change that because you went and made some stupid decision and it was Adrian, it was stupid. We needed you, you broke me Adrian. You left us weakened by your loss and who knows what could have happened while you were out f.u.c.king everything with a pulse!”

”I wasn't f.u.c.king anything Syn. I was so busy trying to figure out how to get you back that I couldn't get my d.i.c.k up! I had to feed though and well it goes hand in hand. So yes, I've taken lovers because I had to. I was just buying time Syn, I was unstable,” he threw his hand in the air with frustration, ”I couldn't control it, I gave my life to protect you. Going to you while I couldn't control the bloodl.u.s.t would have been stupid.”

”It changes nothing, Adrian you left us exposed. You left me in f.u.c.king pieces!” I shouted uncaring if whoever was listening heard us.

”I came back dammit, just in time to find you wearing his f.u.c.king name on your neck Syn. Are you f.u.c.king him too? He isn't what you think he is, he is so much f.u.c.king more and he's playing you. Did you f.u.c.k him? Call out his f.u.c.king name while he was f.u.c.king you!? Like you did with me?” He sneered.

I slapped him before I knew what I was doing. All the rage and anger I'd been holding inside since seeing him coming out with a vengeance, the pain and betrayal I felt didn't help either. I turned to go but he was on me, his fingers biting into my shoulders as he tried to turn me around to face him.

Big mistake, I don't play well when I am angry. I pulled every ounce of power from the air around us and pushed it at him, watching the shock on his beautiful face, his electric eyes as he was thrown from me violently into the air. I could hear blood rus.h.i.+ng through my ears, through my veins as I allowed the power full reign inside me. I wasn't a f.u.c.king victim and I wouldn't become one at his hands.

I watched him stand up slowly, carefully. He was linked into my power. I could feel him tapping into it, pulling from it. His death had not severed his connection to the coven, he'd known this entire time where and what we were doing. I could see his eyes registering the mistake he'd just made. I held perfectly still, waiting to see his next move.

”I didn't mean to hurt you Syn, I am still learning how to control it,” he whispered looking down at is hands as if they were a foreign object.

”What I do, is none of your f.u.c.king business Adrian, you chose a different path that doesn't lead to me,” I allowed the power to drain slowly, watching as he did the same, ”If I sleep with another, it's not up to you to decide if it's wrong or right. It would be my choice. My choice.”

He shook his dark head, his hair falling into his turbulent eyes. ”He isn't what you think he is. I'm trying to protect you.”

”I'm a big girl Adrian, I don't need protecting. Not anymore.”

”You do against him! f.u.c.k Syn, we all need to be protected against him. Are you that f.u.c.king blind? Wake the f.u.c.k up. You're smarter than that.” He growled as his hand fisted at his sides as mine had.

”Then what the f.u.c.k is he?” I asked narrowing my eyes, I could tell when Adrian lied, I could feel it. He was also holding back, trying to s.h.i.+eld the connection we had through the coven.

”I can't tell you, not because I don't want to Syn, but it's because if I do, I forfeit my life and maybe even yours.”

That wasn't a lie. I watched him as my mind ran wild with what he was saying. If Ryder was something else, wouldn't I have noticed by now? ”Adrian...” I said shaking my head as nothing he was saying made sense, but the connection between us was telling me he spoke the truth.

”I can't,” he said dejectedly as he dropped his shoulder and shook his head. He stepped close as I instinctively stepped back from him as I watched him closely. ”Just don't take anything around here at face value and don't fall for him baby. Promise me, that somehow we will be as we were before we separated. Promise me we will be together when this is over.”

A sob escaped my lips before I could stop it. I couldn't promise him anything anymore. He was undead, he'd left me and even though it wasn't maliciously done. It was done. I stepped further away and turned back towards the house. I couldn't promise him anything, but I still loved him, just not in the way he needed me to and it hurt to not be able to say it.