Part 19 (2/2)
Mike watched the elegantly-dressed men who pa.s.sed hurriedly to their clubs, or drove west to dinner parties. Red clouds and dark clouds collected and rolled overhead, and in a chill wintry breeze the leaves of the tall trees s.h.i.+vered, fell, and were blown along the pavement with sharp harsh sound. London shrouded like a widow in long c.r.a.pe.
”What is there to do? Five o'clock! After that lunch I cannot dine before eight--three hours! Whom shall I go and see?”
A vision of women pa.s.sed through his mind, but he turned from them all, and he said--
”I will go and see her.”
He had met Miss Dudley in Brighton, in a house where he had been asked to tea. She was a small, elderly spinster with sharp features and gray curls. She had expected him to address to her a few commonplace remarks for politeness' sake, and then to leave her for some attractive girl. But he had showed no wish to leave her, and when they met again he walked by her bath-chair the entire length of the Cliff. Miss Dudley was a cripple. She had fallen from some rocks when a child playing on the beach, and had injured herself irremediably. She lived with her maid in a small lodging, and being often confined to her room for days, nearly every visitor was welcome. Mike liked this pallid and forgotten little woman. He found in her a strange sweetness--a wistfulness. There was poetry in her loneliness and her ruined health. Strength, health, and beauty had been crushed by a chance fall. But the accident had not affected the mind, unless perhaps it had raised it into more intense sympathy with life. And in all his various pa.s.sions and neglected correspondence he never forgot for long to answer her letters, nor did he allow a month to pa.s.s without seeing her. And now he bought for her a great packet of roses and a novel; and with some misgivings he chose Zola's _Page d'Amour_.
”I think this is all right. She'll be delighted with it, if she'll read it.”
She would have read anything he gave, and seen no harm since it came from him. The ailing caged bird cannot but delight in the thrilling of the wild bird that comes to it with the freedom of the sky and fields in its wings and song. She listened to all his stories, even to his stories of pigeon-shooting. She knew not how to reproach him.
Her eyes fixed upon him, her gentle hand laid on the rail of her chair, she listened while he told her of the friends he had made, and his life in the country; its seascape and downlands, the furze where he had shot the rabbits, the lane where he had jumped the gate. Her pleasures had pa.s.sed in thought--his in action; the world was for him--this room for her.
There is the long chair in which she lies nearly always; there is the cus.h.i.+on on which the tired head is leaned, a small beautifully-shaped head, and the sharp features are distinct on the dark velvet, for the lamp is on the mantelpiece, and the light falls full on the profile.
The curtains are drawn, and the eyes animate with grat.i.tude when Mike enters with his roses, and after asking kindly questions he takes a vase, and filling it with water, places the flowers therein, and sets it on the table beside her. There is her fire--(few indeed are the days in summer when she is without it)--the singing kettle suggests the homely tea, and the saucepan on the hearth the invalid. There is her bookcase, set with poetry and religion, and in one corner are the yellow-backed French novels that Mike has given her. They are the touches the most conclusive of reality in her life; and she often smiles, thinking how her friends will strive to explain how they came into her life when she is gone.
”How good of you to come and see me! Tell me about yourself, what you have been doing. I want to hear you talk.”
”Well, I've brought you this book; it is a lovely book--you can read it--I think you can read it, otherwise I should not have given it to you.”
He remained with her till seven, talking to her about hunting, shooting, literature, and card-playing.
”Now I must go,” he said, glancing at the clock.
”Oh, so soon,” exclaimed Miss Dudley, waking from her dream; ”must you go?”
”I'm afraid I must; I haven't dined yet.”
”And what are you going to do after dinner? You are going to play cards.”
”How did you guess that?”
”I can't say,” she said, laughing; ”I think I can often guess your thoughts.”
And during the long drive to Piccadilly, and as he eat his sole and drank his Pomard, he dreamed of the hands he should hold, and of the risks he should run when the cards were bad. His brain glowed with subtle combinations and surprises, and he longed to measure his strength against redoubtable antagonists. The two great whist players, Longley and Lovegrove, were there. He always felt jealous of Lovegrove's play. Lovegrove played an admirable game, always making the most of his cards. But there was none of that dash, and almost miraculous flashes of imagination and decision which characterized Mike, and Mike felt that if he had the money on, and with Longley for a partner, he could play as he had never played before; and ignoring a young man whom he might have rooked at ecarte, and avoiding a rich old gentleman who loved his game of piquet, and on whom Mike was used to rely in the old days for his Sunday dinner (he used to say the old gentleman gave the best dinners in London; they always ran into a tenner), he sat down at the whist-table. His partner played wretchedly, and though he had Longley and Lovegrove against him, he could not refrain from betting ten pounds on every rubber. He played till the club closed, he played till he had reduced his balance at the bank to nineteen pounds.
Haunted by the five of clubs, which on one occasion he should have played and did not, he walked till he came to the Haymarket. Then he stopped. What could he do? All the life of idleness and luxury which he had so long enjoyed faded like a dream, and the spectre of cheap lodgings and daily journalism rose painfully distinct. He pitied the street-sweepers, and wondered if it were possible for him to slip down into the gutter. ”When I have paid my hotel bill, I shan't have a tenner.” He thought of Mrs. Byril, but the idea did not please him, and he remembered Frank had told him he had a cottage on the river.
He would go there. He might put up for a night or two at Hall's.
”I will start a series of articles to-morrow. What shall it be?” An unfortunate still stood at the corner of the street. ”'Letters to a Light o' Love!' Frank must advance me something upon them.... Those stupid women! if they were not so witless they could rise to any height. If I had only been a woman! ... If I had been a woman I should have liked to have been Ninon de Lanclos.”
CHAPTER VIII
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