Part 40 (1/2)
Who would break the silence? David chortled in a sudden burst of acrid humor. How could he even wonder? Alisoun knew how to organize her castles; she had no inkling how to handle the intimacies of marriage. She who had so much in material wealth had never had someone love her, and he had to show her the way.
His destrier seemed to think so, too. Louis, who should have been in a hurry to reach his stable, lagged behind while Alisoun and her men rode on.
Alisoun glanced back, then waving Ivo and Gunnewate on, she returned to David. ”Has your horse gone lame? A trek like this must be difficult for a steed of such advanced age.”
Louis turned his head and looked at David, expressing equine disgust. Then, with a very human nod of conspiracy, he came to a complete halt. David sat with the reins held loosely in his hands.
”Is he in pain?” Alisoun asked. ”Do you think he's thrown a shoe? Is he-”
She realized David studied her, and he saw the moment she stopped worrying about Louis, and started worrying about what David would say to her and what she would say to David.
”I have a question.” He tried to ask casually. ”Do you love me?”
Apparently he was not successful, for she drew back, and her palfrey took a few steps away. ”Do I what?”
”Do you love me?”
If he was going to speak, he realized, she had expected him to speak of loyalty or honesty or duty. Something she understood. Something she had experience with. Instead he'd asked her a question which baffled her by its very unfamiliarity.
”Love?” She kept her back ramrod straight in the saddle. ”To what kind of love do you refer? I admire you. I appreciate your finer qualities.”
He gained confidence from her discomfort. ”What about my lesser qualities?”
”Well, I don't admire them.”
”But do you love me for them?”
”David.” She leaned all the way back in her saddle. ”I don't believe that people admire other people for their lesser qualities.”
”I don't want you to admire me. I want you to love me.” Her brow puckered, and he realized he would have to work for her comprehension. Leaning out, he held out his hand and slowly, warily, she took it. Then he asked, ”How did you feel when I let Philippa leave with Osbern?”
Her face lengthened as she blanked all expression, and her fingers grew cold in his grasp. ”I did not admire you.”
”That's a lukewarm reaction to a man who would allow your best friend to leave with a man who would no doubt kill her.”
Taking a deep breath, she admitted, ”I disliked your actions.”
”My actions? You disliked my actions?” How cleverly she separated him from his deeds. ”How did you feel about me?”
”I...disliked you.”
He stared at her in blatant disbelief.
She tried again. ”I loathed you.”
”You hated me.”
She looked away from him.
”You hated me, but you're a rational woman who does what is logical, so you put me from your mind and concentrated on the future without me.”
She tried to speak several times, and finally said, ”Not exactly. I wasted a great deal of time thinking about how...how...”
”Aye?”
”How I'd like to take your liver and feed it to the cat.”
”That's good!” She could be taught. ”That's what I hoped you would say.”
Her mouth dropped open just a little, and she shook her head as if confused.
”When you came to Osbern's castle and saw me fighting him, what did you think then?”
”I thought that you had seen the error of your-”
”I don't believe that.”
Such bluntness came hard for a woman as steeped in diplomacy and as restrained in her pa.s.sions as Alisoun, but she enunciated each word scrupulously. ”I wanted to be undignified in my joy.”
He grinned with relief and teased her. ”Undignified in your joy, huh?”
”I wanted to jump up and down and yell.”
She'd made a huge admission, but David was greedy. David wanted more. ”All because you were glad to see me. Do you think you would have reacted with such unbridled emotional desire if another champion for Philippa had stepped forth?”
Her fingers curled, the tips brus.h.i.+ng his palm. Her lips curled, her eyes going unfocused. ”Nay. When I looked up, I knew I'd been waiting just for you.” She stiffened, recalled to herself by her instinctive reply. ”That is, I hired you to protect me, therefore I expected you to fulfill your duties.”
”And you were ecstatic when I did.”
”I was pleased, aye.”
He sighed hugely.
”I was very pleased.” Even before he showed his skepticism, she tried to express herself more clearly. ”I was...proud. I was...delighted.”
”Why?”
”Because you...”
She didn't want to say it. He could see how she struggled with her hurt and her pride.