Part 19 (2/2)
h.e.l.l was about to begin.
”Where did he hurt you?”
Philippa's voice intruded on Alisoun's daze, and she turned her head slowly to stare at her friend. ”What?”
Philippa rushed toward her as she rested on the table. ”Where did he hurt you? He was so angry, and I'm sorry I suggested...but he never even slapped Susan when she poured boiling stew in his lap while she was trying to entice him.”
The hard table hurt Alisoun's tailbone, so she sat all the way up. ”That's not a very clever way to do it.”
”She wasn't pouring it into his lap to entice him, she was leaning over the table and showing off her udders and accidentally-good Saint Ethelred, that's not important!” Philippa took Alisoun's hands and chafed them. ”Did he put you on the table to beat you?”
Alisoun dragged her drooping s.h.i.+ft up over her shoulders. ”Nay!”
”Then, did he use you roughly?”
”Not exactly.” Gripping the edge of the table, Alisoun slid off and stood on wobbly legs. ”He was just rather...forceful. He was angry about something.”
”What?”
”I just told him that we'd spent too much time in bed and he'd ruined my schedule.”
Several expressions crossed Philippa's face, and in a tone of voice Alisoun couldn't comprehend, Philippa said, ”I don't know why that would bother him.”
”I don't, either.” Philippa ”tsked” in disgust and this time Alisoun recognized exasperation. ”Why would that bother him?”
”Men are funny that way.” Philippa turned Alisoun around and spread the s.h.i.+ft's gaping neck yet wider.
”What are you doing?” Alisoun demanded.
”You have no bruises.”
Craning her neck to look at Philippa, Alisoun said, ”I told you I did not. Why would I lie?”
”Because sometimes it's embarra.s.sing to admit that the man you picked is so...careless.”
”The word is brutal.”
Philippa flinched. ”Perhaps. Would you like a clean s.h.i.+ft?”
”And my work clothes. I am determined to continue the day as if this never happened.” Alisoun's mind had returned to its orderly functioning. As Philippa hurried back to Alisoun's chamber to retrieve her costume, Alisoun resolved to shove Sir David's odd behavior into the background of her thoughts. She couldn't allow him to disrupt her schedule both day and night. But when Philippa returned, arms full of clothes, Alisoun immediately spoiled her resolve by blurting, ”He's angry about the child.”
”I was afraid of that.” Philippa laid the clothes on the bed and poured water in a basin for Alisoun to wash. ”Men don't like having you distracted from their needs by a child.”
”Nay, I mean he says I wouldn't know how to raise his child.” Alisoun leaned over the basin, waiting in suspense to hear Philippa's verdict.
”That's nonsense,” Philippa said stoutly. ”You love as deeply as any other.”
Encouraged, Alisoun splashed in the cold water.
”You simply aren't demonstrative.”
Alisoun stopped and waited in dread.
”And of course children do thrive with holding and kissing.”
Alisoun accepted the towel Philippa handed her. ”Do you mean you encouraged me to bed Sir David with the intent of getting myself an heir and you don't believe me capable of acquiring the skills to raise a child?”
”I didn't say that. I just remembered how Sir David entertained Hazel and didn't complain when she drooled all over the front of his s.h.i.+ft.”
”Why did she drool on him?”
”Because she's teething,” Philippa said patiently.
”How long has she been doing that?”
”Since before he got here.”
”All that time for one tooth?”
Philippa stepped back and looked Alisoun over as if she were none too bright. ”Hazel has four teeth now. I'm weaning her to a cup.”
”But she's just a baby!”
”That seems to be the best time for people to acquire teeth.”
Alisoun couldn't comprehend such a rush. It seemed only yesterday when Hazel had been born. She'd been helpless, unable to sleep all night or eat without a bellyache. Now she was sitting up and rolling around and getting teeth. While Alisoun wasn't looking, Hazel had become more than an infant. She had become a babe, and for the first time Alisoun realized David's concern. She was ignorant of children, and what if she made a mistake? What if she was too busy for the baby, or disciplined it at the wrong time, or rewarded the wrong behavior? All adults started out as babies, innocent and sweet as Hazel, and look what a mixed bag of villains and saints they became. Undertaking child rearing was a ch.o.r.e of unspeakable magnitude, with results that echoed far into the future.
Alisoun sank onto a stool.
And she had thought to raise a child alone. It couldn't be done. She pressed her hand to her womb. Who knew what horrors might result?
”Don't look so stricken,” Philippa said. ”If nothing else, I'll help you raise your child.”
”Aye.” Alisoun released her breath in relief. ”You'd know what to do.”
Alisoun knew herself to be a woman of good sense. She could learn how to raise a child if given enough guidance. Only...how did one become proficient? It seemed to Alisoun that if she practiced on her own babe, she'd not realize her mistakes until the child was grown. But on what babe did one practice? Without a doubt, Philippa wouldn't allow experimentation on Hazel, and did Alisoun really wish to possibly ruin her dearest friend's child with her own inept.i.tude?
”Look, Alisoun, we must face facts. I may be forced to leave here some day.”
”Nay, you won't,” Alisoun said automatically.
Philippa smiled, but her lips trembled. ”Sometimes I wish I could go back.”
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