Part 54 (1/2)

Hannah Kron,[122] I know that I am a bandit, a murderer, not to have got you a divorce, or at all events a conditional divorce--but G.o.d in heaven is my witness: I hadn't the heart! I felt that if I left you a divorce, I should die of grief on the way. We are a true and faithful couple. G.o.d Himself was present at our union, and I am bound to you with my whole heart, we are one soul in two bodies, and I do not know how I shall live without you and without the child, may it be well, even for a minute.

And should anyone say I have left you a gra.s.s-widow, don't believe it; for I, Shmuel Mosheh, am your husband, and I have only done what I _had_ to do. What will misery not drive a man to? Hannah'li Kron, if I could lay my heart open before you, you would see what is going on there, and I should feel a little happier. As it is, dear soul, I am very wretched, the tears are pouring from my eyes so that I cannot see what I am writing, and my heart aches and my brain goes round like a mill-wheel--and my teeth chatter, and the letter-carrier, the illiterate boor, stands over me and bangs on the table and cries: ”I must go! I must go!”

Lord of the world, have pity on me now and on my wife Hannah, health to her, and on the child, so that I may have joy of it yet.

From me, your dear husband, who writes in the inn on the way,

SHMuEL MoSHEH.

SECOND LETTER

My precious and beloved wife:

What am I to say to you? I see clearly that my idea of going away was heaven-sent, that G.o.d Himself put the thought of America into my head; everything He does is for the best.

My dear Hannah, whenever I shut my eyes I fancy myself at home again, and the dream comes from the other end of the world. For who would have thought that an idler like me, such a nincomp.o.o.p as I am, such a born fool, should ride on a railway, cross the sea in a s.h.i.+p, and arrive safe in America? The finger of G.o.d! ”I will praise the Lord”--it was G.o.d's disposing--His will alone enabled me to leave you and the child, and may we be counted worthy to rear it for the Torah, the marriage canopy, and all good works.

Hannah'li Kron, I have seen great wonders on dry land, but nothing to what I saw on the sea. While I was at sea, I forgot everything I had seen on dry land, and now, among the wonders of America, I begin to, forget about the sea.

At first I was so miserable on board s.h.i.+p, there are no words for it.

But all ended well, and I am sure it was for your sake and the child's.

Hannah'li, I am sure you remember Leeb the reader,[123] who came to our town once a few years ago, and recited the prayers in our Shool during the Solemn Days. I remember that after the Day of Atonement you told me you had never heard such davenen[124] in your life. I even recall the very words you used: Leeb the reader ”roars like a lion and weeps like a child.”

Next morning there was something of a commotion in the town; people had forgotten Leeb the reader, hadn't paid him properly, and he, poor man, went from house to house collecting money--with a little girl, you remember, whose name was Genendil. She accompanied her father's singing with her childish voice. When they came to our house, you were very sorry for her, took her into your lap, kissed her on the head, and gave her something, I forget what. And you cried for compa.s.sion over the motherless child. Perhaps you wonder at my remembering all this?

You see, Hannah'li Kron, I remember all the kind things you said and all your actions, for they were full of charm. You are continually before me. I fancied sometimes, crossing the sea, that you stood beside me, and that the child had hold of your ap.r.o.n, and I heard your voices, and they sounded in my ears with a sweetness beyond all description.

And I have come across Leeb the reader, by the way.

Heaven forgive me, but Leeb the reader has sunk very low.

He paid no attention on board s.h.i.+p as to whether the food were kosher or not, and he drinks as is not the way with Jews. I never once saw him in prayer-scarf and phylacteries the whole time, or saying grace after meat. He goes about all day without a hat--and not content with this, he leads his daughter into the same paths. The Genendil of those days is now about seventeen. You should see her--a picture! And he made her sing and dance before the pa.s.sengers on board s.h.i.+p--and she sings in different languages. The people listened and clapped their hands with delight and cried out goodness knows what. And it was all so boisterous that really--....

At first--why deny it?--I was very pleased to see them. It's always somebody from home, I thought. I won't have to hang about so lonely and wretched. But afterward I felt greatly distressed. I couldn't bear to watch his goings-on with his daughter. And now and again it cut me to the heart to hear a Jew, who used to stand at the reading-desk, a messenger of Israel to the Almighty, talk such disgusting nonsense. And his voice is burned with brandy.

And they must take me in hand and try to make me presentable. They made fun of me on board. It was always: ”Idler!” ”Fool!” He tweaked my ear-locks; she pulled the fringe off my ”little prayer-scarf,” and the whole s.h.i.+p took it up.

And what ailed them at me? That I avoided forbidden food and preferred to fast rather than touch it.

You know, I dislike quarrelling, so I edged away, hid in a corner, and wept my heart out in secret.

But they discovered me and made a laughing-stock of me, and I thought it would be my death.

It is only here, in America, that I see it was all a G.o.dsend; that G.o.d, in His great goodness, had sent Leeb the reader before me into America, as He sent Joseph before his brothers into Egypt.

Because, what should I have done without them? A man without the language of the country, without a trade, not knowing at which door to knock? And Leeb the reader is quite at home here, talks English fluently, and he got me straight away into a cigar-factory, and I am at work and earning something already.

Meanwhile we are in the same lodging, because how should I set about finding one for myself?