Volume I Part 14 (1/2)

Says I, in a almost eloquent way: ”I don't believe in makin' such exertions after pleasure. As I have told you time and agin, I don't believe in chasin' of her up. Let her come of her own free will. You can't ketch her by chasin' after her no more than you can fetch up a shower in a drowth by goin' outdoors and runnin' after a cloud up in the heavens above you. Sit down and be patient, and when it gets ready the refres.h.i.+n' raindrops will begin to fall without none of your help. And it is jest so with pleasure, Josiah Allen; you may chase her up over all the oceans and big mountains of the earth, and she will keep ahead of you all the time; but set down and not fatigue yourself a-thinkin' about her, and like as not she will come right into your house unbeknown to you.”

”Wal,” says he, ”I guess I'll have another griddle-cake, Samantha.”

And as he took it and poured the maple syrup over it, he added gently but firmly:

”I shall go, Samantha, to this exertion, and I should be glad to have you present at it, because it seems jest to me as if I should fall overboard durin' the day.”

Men are deep. Now that man knew that no amount of religious preachin'

could stir me up like that one speech. For though I hain't no hand to coo, and don't encourage him in bein' spoony at all, he knows that I am wrapped almost completely up in him. I went.

Wal, the day before the exertion Kellup Cobb come into our house of a errant, and I asked him if he was goin' to the exertion; and he said he would like to go, but he da.s.sent.

”Da.s.sent!” says I. ”Why da.s.sent you?”

”Why,” says he, ”how would the rest of the wimmin round Jonesville feel if I should pick out one woman and wait on her?” Says he bitterly: ”I hain't perfect, but I hain't such a cold-blooded rascal as not to have any regard for wimmen's feelin's. I hain't no heart to spile all the comfort of the day for ten or a dozen wimmen.”

”Why,” says I, in a dry tone, ”one woman would be happy, accordin' to your tell.”

”Yes, one woman happy, and ten or fifteen gauled--bruised in the tenderest place.”

”On their heads?” says I, inquirin'ly.

”No,” says he, ”their hearts. All the girls have probable had more or less hopes that I would invite 'em--make a choice of 'em. But when the blow was struck, when I had pa.s.sed 'em by and invited some other, some happier woman, how would them slighted ones feel? How do you s'pose they would enjoy the day, seein' me with another woman, and they droopin'

round without me? That is the reason, Josiah Allen's wife, that I da.s.sent go. It hain't the keepin' of my horse through the day that stops me. For I could carry a quart of oats and a little jag of hay in the bottom of the buggy. If I had concluded to pick out a girl and go, I had got it all fixed out in my mind how I would manage. I had thought it over, while I was ondecided and duty was a-strugglin' with me. But I was made to see where the right way for me lay, and I am goin' to foller it.

Joe Purday is goin' to have my horse, and give me seven s.h.i.+llin's for the use of it and its keepin'. He come to hire it just before I made up my mind that I hadn't ort to go.

”Of course it is a cross to me. But I am willin' to bear crosses for the fair sect. Why,” says he, a-comin' out in a open, generous way, ”I would be willin', if necessary for the general good of the fair sect--I would be willin' to sacrifice ten cents for 'em, or pretty nigh that, I wish so well to 'em. I _hain't_ that enemy to 'em that they think I am. I can't marry 'em all, Heaven knows I can't, but I wish 'em well.”

”Wal,” says I, ”I guess my dishwater is hot; it must be pretty near bilin' by this time.”

And he took the hint and started off. I see it wouldn't do no good to argue with him that wimmen didn't wors.h.i.+p him. For when a feller once gets it into his head that female wimmen are all after him, you might jest as well dispute the wind as argue with him. You can't convince him nor the wind--neither of 'em--so what's the use of wastin' breath on 'em. And I didn't want to spend a extra breath that day anyway, knowin'

I had such a hard day's work in front of me, a-finis.h.i.+n' cookin' up provisions for the exertion, and gettin' things done up in the house so I could leave 'em for all day.

We had got to start about the middle of the night; for the lake was fifteen miles from Jonesville, and the old mare's bein' so slow, we had got to start an hour or two ahead of the rest. I told Josiah in the first on't, that I had just as lives set up all night as to be routed out at two o'clock. But he was so animated and happy at the idee of goin' that he looked on the bright side of everything, and he said that we would go to bed before dark, and get as much sleep as we commonly did. So we went to bed the sun an hour high. And I was truly tired enough to lay down, for I had worked dretful hard that day--almost beyond my strength. But we hadn't more'n got settled down into the bed, when we heard a buggy and a single wagon stop at the gate, and I got up and peeked through the window, and I see it was visitors come to spend the evenin.' Elder Bamber and his family, and Deacon Dobbinses' folks.

Josiah vowed that he wouldn't stir one step out of that bed that night.

But I argued with him pretty sharp, while I was throwin' on my clothes, and I finally got him started up. I hain't deceitful, but I thought if I got my clothes all on before they came in I wouldn't tell 'em that I had been to bed that time of day. And I did get all dressed up, even to my handkerchief pin. And I guess they had been there as much as ten minutes before I thought that I hadn't took my nightcap off. They looked dreadful curious at me, and I felt awful meachin'. But I jest ketched it off, and never said nothin'. But when Josiah come out of the bedroom with what little hair he has got standin' out in every direction, no two hairs a-layin' the same way, and one of his galluses a-hangin' most to the floor under his best coat, I up and told 'em. I thought mebby they wouldn't stay long. But Deacon Dobbinses' folks seemed to be all waked up on the subject of religion, and they proposed we should turn it into a kind of a conference meetin'; so they never went home till after ten o'clock.

It was 'most eleven when Josiah and me got to bed agin. And then jest as I was gettin' into a drowse, I heered the cat in the b.u.t.tery, and I got up to let her out. And that roused Josiah up, and he thought he heered the cattle in the garden, and he got up and went out. And there we was a-marchin' round 'most all night.

And if we would get into a nap, Josiah would think it was mornin' and he would start up and go out to look at the clock. He seemed so afraid we would be belated and not get to that exertion in time. And there we was on our feet 'most all night. I lost myself once, for I dreampt that Josiah was a-drowndin', and Deacon Dobbins was on the sh.o.r.e a-prayin'

for him. It started me so that I jist ketched hold of Josiah and hollered. It skairt him awfully, and says he, ”What does ail you, Samantha? I hain't been asleep before to-night, and now you have rousted me up for good. I wonder what time it is!”

And then he got out of bed again and went and looked at the clock. It was half-past one, and he said he ”didn't believe we had better go to sleep again, for fear we would be too late for the exertion, and he wouldn't miss that for nothin'.”

”Exertion!” says I, in a awful cold tone. ”I should think we had had exertion enough for one spell.”

But as bad and wore out as Josiah felt bodily, he was all animated in his mind about what a good time he was a-goin' to have. He acted foolish, and I told him so. I wanted to wear my brown-and-black gingham, and a shaker, but Josiah insisted that I should wear a new lawn dress that he had brought me home as a present, and I had jest got made up.