Chapter 47 (Part 1) (1/2)

Chapter 47 (Part 1) Original and most updated translations are from volaretranslations.

I raised my voice and called out, “Who’s outside?”

A lamp could be seen s.h.i.+ning through the windows as someone coughed outside. Surprised, my eyes rose. I waited expectantly and a person dressed in eunuch’s robes walked inside, carrying a lamp. The light flickered against his face and made his expression somewhat unreal.

It was Little Li.

Curling my lips in disappointment, I turned to sit on the bed, ignoring its layer of dust. “What are you doing here?”

“So it turns out Master was here, your servant has been looking for you. Just then, I fainted away at the main hall before realizing an a.s.sa.s.sin was on the prowl…all the servants have been on the search. Luckily, a few eunuchs said they saw you walk this way. You must be hungry by now. Dinner’s ready so please follow me back, Master.”

I made a small noise but refused to speak. He stood still, silent as well.

After some time, I spoke again, though my voice was a little hoa.r.s.e. “This…when did that Lord Hua move out of the palace? Don’t lie to me anymore, I’m talking about Fang Hua.”

He remained calm, though his hands involuntarily tightened. The fingers looked pale white beneath the lamplight, clearly betraying his anxiety. Surprised, I watched the lamp reflect off his face, which pulled itself into a reluctant smile. “Not long after the previous emperor pa.s.sed again, or about half a month after Lord Fang was chased to the Cold Palace, he left this place. At that time, the current emperor had yet to take the throne.”

“Why didn’t I hear anyone mention this? The emperor didn’t say bring it up either,” I muttered to myself, eyebrows furrowed. He raised his head to look at me with trembling lips, a complicated expression on his face.

What was wrong?

“Are you hiding something from me?” my face stiffened.

He bowed forwards, head lowered as his hands grasped his robes. Finally, he couldn’t hold himself back and said in a low, extremely stealthy voice, “This isn’t something a servant like me should gossip about behind someone’s back. But it’s really uncomfortable to keep covering it up. Actually…” He frowned slightly, lifting his eyes to me. “In truth, not long after Master left the Cold Palace, Lord Hua began to pack his things and prepare to leave.”

What?! What did this have to do with me?

Wait…hold on…I seemed to have seized on something. My mind searched vainly in a blank s.p.a.ce for something I couldn’t quite grasp. “You mean to say,” I clutched his hand, frowning as I spoke carefully. “I lived in the Cold Palace before?”

He pushed aside my hand in embarra.s.sment, backing away a step. “Exactly so, right here.”

Was I a disfavored concubine as well?

He nodded and added another line, “At that time, Master and I both served Lord Hua.”

Ah, what balderdash…

It felt like a string had snapped inside my body, sending me all asunder. My mood sank with my drooping shoulders. Why didn’t I remember anything of this? I bent my head in a moment of silence. No, this was wrong…if I couldn’t remember anything, why would I remember this?

Little Li kept his head bowed but stole a glance at me. I held myself in check, calming my heart as I sat straighter and coughed. “Tell me about the details. If you make up any nonsense, I won’t forgive you.”

“Yes.” Even with his body bent, his words were very clear. “Your servant has always been with Lord Hua. Later on, Master was summoned from the Imperial Physicians’ courtyard to serve Lord Hua. Back then, you had a round face with small eyes, and weren’t very tall. You didn’t look like much either…”

“Stopstopstop, we won’t continue with that. Speak.”

He bowed again, eyes lowered as he continued. “But who knew that one night, his Majesty…no, he was still the crown prince then. His imperial highness, the crown prince and Lord Hua were enjoying drinking together. Later on, you got into an argument with the crown prince and started arguing in the courtyard. Then…the crown prince teared…”

He really matched his narrative, mimicking the crown prince’s actions by waving aside his sleeves…I ducked my head to the side to avoid the sweep. The candlelight on the table flickered incessantly beneath the wind of his sleeves.

I glared at him.

He hastily lowered his head, standing primly in place as he spoke docilely, “After the crown prince did that, your face mask fell, and then you ran away.”

Ah…

He sure liked dwelling on trivial details. Why did I smell the hint of adultery in this story? Was this a complicated love triangle with me as the third wheel who ruined their relations.h.i.+p? I dawdled a bit before looking back, just in time to catch Little Li looking at me for any reaction. In response, I gave him a light kick and said icily, “I told you to tell me why Lord Hua left. Why did you bring the topic back to me again…keep going, don’t stop! If you spout any more drivel I’ll tear apart your lips.”

The lonely moon shed its light on him. This guy actually gave a mischievous laugh and shook his head. “The night after you left, the crown prince and Lord Hua shut themselves in a room. I don’t know what they talked about. The result…was that Lord Hua grew ill. The crown prince came to visit every day, but was always refused at the door by Lord Hua. A bit later, Lord Hua left behind a note and departed.”

So afterwards, the emperor refused to take any concubines for five years. The story of Lord Hua leaving the palace was rarely mentioned as well. Thinking back…the words that the emperor had told me, as well as his expression, was like remembering old time’s sake for him.

Is it possible that I was the one who stuck herself in and ruined a happy family? The idea was shocking. I took a ferocious breath of cold air to recover.

“Master, what’s wrong?” Little Li quickly came to support my arm.

“Nothing serious,” I turned away, speaking quietly. “The things you’ve told me tonight, don’t tell anyone else. Don’t even mention it to the emperor.” I couldn’t let him remember his old flame or these past events…

“Your servant understands,” Little Li seemed to relax from his tension. “Lord Hua has always been a good person. Your servant can tell he always treated you very well, so it’s no wonder you’re asking about him. And so…I didn’t control my words.” His eyes looked at mine. “A good person like that…you shouldn’t forget him.”

My heart suddenly shrank back and started to beat wildly.

—

What had happened to me? How could one little line send my heart pounding?

Was a guilty conscience haunting me? I had been a disdainful, vile character, yet forgotten everything. Then I’d greedily accepted all the pleasures of my present life…

How criminal, how evil.

Little Li seemed to be sizing me up as I stared at him head-on and spoke frankly. “All the things you’ve said, I can’t really remember them anymore. But since he’s treated me so well, I’ll definitely burn a stick of incense for him to Buddha before I eat and sleep, and pray for his blessings.”

Little Li gave me a significant look.

I didn’t have time to ponder it deeply, but propped myself up. My stomach began to grumble, and I gave it a glance, rubbing it with my hands. Little Li had excellent foresight as he said, “Master, it’s getting late. Shall we go back? It’s already past dinnertime, if we drag it out any longer it’ll be midnight snacktime instead.”

“All right, let’s go.”

He actually reached out a hand to bar my wall. “You’re going to be conferred a t.i.tle soon. Many eyes will be on you…it’s not good for you to leave the Cold Palace so directly, I’ll call over a sedan chair for you.”