Chapter 40 (1/2)
Chapter 40 Orginal and most updated translations are from volaretranslations.
Nighttime. A crescent moon hung high in the skies.
After soaking in the bath for a while, I climbed out of the wooden tub, my skin wrinkled from the water. I absent-mindedly tossed on some white robes and rolled onto my bed, tossing and turning with my cold, wet hair. My entire head felt numb, making it impossible to go to sleep.
The windows reflected shadows of willow branches swaying in the wind. Abruptly, I heard the melodious notes of a flute. It stirred me up with a quiver, and I climbed off the bed, loosely tying my robes about me to go outside.
“Master, you’re not sleeping?” Little Second sat at the stone table in the courtyard on night watch. When he rose up to see me, the brush in his hands rolled off the table and clattered to the ground, and I bent down to pick it up. A glance showed me the layers and layers of white papers resting on the table, filled with pill formulas. A few stacks of books rested on the side, in between which were papers covered in bold ink strokes that resembled the shape of a human form…
He blocked my view, hands resting against the table with a secretive air as he gave a shamefaced blush. I laughed in spite of myself and said, “You should go rest early. The wind’s so strong here, the lamp light can’t help but flicker. Do you not want to keep your eyes?”
He hurriedly clutched the books to his chest, speaking in a low voice. “As soon as I clean up here, I’ll go inside.”
He was red to the base of his ears. Who hadn’t experienced this before? Look at him, fl.u.s.tered just from looking at acupuncture diagrams of females. Thinking back to the time my secret p.o.r.nography book was pa.s.sed off as an acupuncture diagram, I must have had the same helplessly red face. Just remembering it made the corners of my mouth turn up.
“You’re not sleeping even though it’s night, and now you’ve run out here without an extra layer of robes.” Second’s voice interrupted my thoughts as he looked at me. I figured he must have successfully hidden his goods, because his tone was bolder than before.
“I couldn’t sleep. When I heard First playing the flute, I decided to take a look.” I replied with a lazy stretch.
“Master, your hearing’s getting worse as well,” he followed the direction of my gaze to see the pavilion beyond, and laughed. “That’s Fifth playing the flute. First is entertaining a guest inside the hall, how would he have free time for such things?”
“A guest?” What kind of guest dropped by in the middle of the night?
“I think it’s probably one of those bored, curious types that came to see the Carefree Idler. With First dealing with them, Master doesn’t have to worry,” he placed a soft cus.h.i.+on on the stone bench and helped me sit down, gaze drifting hotly in the direction of the pavilion. “Is Fifth’s music annoying? Shall I order him away?”
“It’s been a while since I’ve heard it, so I want to listen.” I said lightly. A weight suddenly lifted off my shoulders as my outer robes fell to the floor. Second gave me a gentle look as he draped it over my shoulders again.
“With the wind this strong, you shouldn’t just sit still. Your body won’t be able to bear it in the long run, so I could warm up some wine for you. Oh, that’s right…” He scratched his head and smiled abashedly. “There’s also some sweet soup in the kitchens. I originally made it on a whim, but purposefully added some calming herbs to the mix. Wait here Master, and I’ll get you a bowl.”
I smiled warmly at his retreating figure and made to stand up. I didn’t want him to run about for my sake, but for him to rest early if there was nothing else to do. Before I could speak, however, he had already disappeared. Instead, the continuous notes of the flute floated up, low and borne with a certain grief. I seized up, and looked towards the pavilion again in time to see a figure playing the flute emerge from the shadows to be bathed in silver moonlight.
The water rippled beneath the pavilion to reflect his ugly face and a pair of startlingly bright, crystalline eyes. He seemed to have something weighing on his mind as he played at the moon, the music wistful and somewhat heartbreaking.
I was very familiar with this song.
I asked the world how many sorrows it held
A single evening brought autumn to the 8,000 year jade[1]
Why not wander instead to distant lands
Reckless and unbridled in the jianghu
Until this life ends?
The idler drinks a flask of wine alone
Leaving behind vast sorrows and joys
Far from youth lies the buried flowers[2].
This was a song that I had written myself after departing for the jianghu.
My courtesy name was Zang, my given name Hua, and I self-professed to be a carefree idler, but the jianghu was just a place for me to run away. I sat on the stone bench, holding a brush in my hands as bitterness rose in my heart. There was no choice but to smile…
A drop of ink splattered against the snow white paper, an eye-catching sight. I thought of Fourth’s mole by his eye. It made him look so clever, with none of the desolate grief that accompanied him.
Fifth’s face might have been ruined, but his eyes were as bright and clear as him, free from the wind and dust of the world.
Second’s expressions resembled him most, though he only expressed a third of his gloominess and seventy percent of his sorrow. That person was far more indifferent and desolate…
Yifu had always resembled an Immortal. There was no one who could approach his looks.
The qi in my chest churned wildly as if trying to express my emotions. I propped myself up with one hand as my sleeve swept across the table, and lowered my brush. It was as if everything had been seared into my memories. The things I’d thought I’d forgotten kept cras.h.i.+ng over me like tidewaters, just like his looks…
All this time, deep in my memories, I’d never forgotten him.
—
I gave a final twist to the tip of the brush and set it aside. Fang Hua once told me that you could paint a person’s soul in their portrait. He used to laugh that the blossoms, bugs, birds, and beasts I drew were very lifelike but all looked like him. He should know…even though I missed him terribly now, I could only bring out a third of his essence on paper.
If a person really had the three souls and seven desires…then the Fang Hua on the paper had three souls. As for his seven desires, they must be hidden deep within my heart, fused into my blood where nothing could tear them away…
I reached out my hand and lightly touched my drawing, right on that slightly furrowed forehead. My body bent over as I rested a cheek against the surface. Yifu, though it’s difficult to forget you, I’ll do my best…
Suddenly, the flute stopped playing, and Little Fifth shouted, “Who dares to charge into here!” I raised my head abruptly and saw a ma.s.s of lights outside our residence, countless flickers of flame surrounding us on all sides to set the mountains ablaze. There was the qi of a stranger in the courtyard, concealed in the dark. When he slowly revealed himself, it was with a smile.
“Shao’er, it’s been awhile,” he said.
—
I had to think for a second. Who was this?
Very few people knew me as Shao’er. Also, this person’s voice was quite magnetic, neither quick nor slow but very nostalgic. It couldn’t be…
Something dropped into the pit of my stomach as I heard the rustling of clothing in the dark. He had very heavy steps as he stepped into the moonlight, tall, straight, and handsome. That expression between his eyebrows was something I was intimately familiar with. He still wore the same smile and looked at me the same way, eyes filled with warmth.
But this wasn’t the youth with thriving heroic spirit from all that time ago. After five years, he radiated the steady, mature aura of a refined scholar, gentle and fine.
“…Zichuan.”
His lips quirked up into a smile as he gave me a look pregnant with meaning. “It’s fortunate you still remember me.”
This atmosphere was a bit strange. He spoke so lightly, but I already felt shaken and uncomfortable. I could see First standing by his side, looking at me with a face full of astonishment. Could it be that Zichuan was the guest he’d been receiving tonight?
Curses…
If I’d known Zichuan would come searching houses in the middle of the night, I’d have moved everyone this morning. People in the imperial court were too efficient with their jobs. Nongyu just told me the emperor was making inspection visits incognito, and now he was on my doorstep. Were there seriously so many people in the palace who had nothing better to do than follow the emperor around on manhunts?
“What are you silently disapproving about?” he smiled like the sun, though it didn’t reach his eyes. His line of vision drifted to my hands. “I’ve been worrying over you every day in the imperial court, yet you have enough leisure time to paint here beneath the moon.” The last line came from his lips between gritted teeth.
I clutched my picture tighter, neither willing nor unwilling to let it go. My face felt both hot and cold as I gave an angry laugh and moved the inkstone to hold the paper in place. “You needn’t worry about my personal affairs.”
A hand suddenly grabbed me by the arm, nearly setting me off-balance as he held me in his grip, looking at my drawing expressionlessly. When his gaze drifted to me again, his eyes narrowed with the promise of a threat. Narrowing eyes…who didn’t know how to do that?
I narrowed my eyes back.
“Scoundrel! Let go of our Master!” Little Fifth’s voice called out from the pavilion, fl.u.s.tered and discomfited.
Han Zichuan gave him a once-over. “This is another one of your Princes?” I felt a tightness around my waist as he closed his other arm around me to give Fifth a disdainful glance.
“I’m going to pound you!” Fifth was definitely enraged.
I blinked. He’d yelled his intentions before I could react. Though it didn’t scare any of the surrounding people, it shocked me, and stirred the man by my side into action. His grip on my arm slowly tightened as if punis.h.i.+ng me, nearly forcing the air from my lungs. A face leaned over as he spoke in a low voice, his breath hot against my ears. “You still haven’t wholly forgotten him, Shao’er…”
There was a wildly thumping heartbeat. It belonged to him.
I could even feel it between the layers of our robes, though I couldn’t tell whether he felt uneasy, wrathful, or something else altogether… My thoughts slipped, and a strong gale blew over, whipping about my hair. An indistinct object flew quickly towards us, aiming at the person gripping me. Yet Zichuan kept his hold with no intention of letting me go.
Suddenly, sword-wielding figures emerged from the shadows to block the blow. There was a flash of light, before a flute was knocked deep into the depths of a willow tree. Little Fifth narrowed his eyes at the men, his scar making him seem even more ferocious.