Chapter 13 (2/2)
But I was silent.
With extreme reluctance, I managed a smile.
“What kind of expression is that? It’s even more ghastly than a crying one. What was written on that cloth…let me see.” He reached out a hand, the other wrapping around my waist to support me.
I shook my head, but my feet lost their strength and I sank to the ground. Then I simply hugged my legs and closed my eyes. Still, it couldn’t stop the stream of memories from flowing like water, or my body from shuddering uncontrollably.
I remember that night when Fang Hua told me, “Someone I used to know very well once fell in love with a person unable to return his feelings.”
“The person he loved already had a wife, but he was still drawn to that person like a moth to a flame. The second half of his life was spent in grief so heavy that he wished he were dead. His eventual death was miserable, and he was buried far from humans, surrounded by nothing but flowers as he sank into an eternal sleep.”
Under the moonlight, he had smiled a smile cold enough to chill the liver.
“I just don’t understand… …the mortals all say that the Fang Hua Beast is an animal capable of feelings, but they can never obtain their heart’s desire.”
I thought I’d forgotten these words, but now they appeared in my mind clearer than ever. At that time I thought, that was only someone he used to know well, but why does he look so grieved?
As it turned out, I was wrong.
‘That’ person’s story might have been Fang Hua’s own.
The bones nestled next to the tomb must have been that ungrateful, heartless person.
Maybe not all of the Fang Hua Beasts in this world were named ‘Fang Hua’, but I knew…my yifu’s name was Fang Zi Hua[6]. The corpse before me now was someone who died for him.
The cloth was something it’d left behind for him.
I just didn’t understand why this person wrote, ‘after you return from the grave, you can look after that child…’
Just who used to be buried in this tomb…?
And another thing.
I anxiously walked around again, squatting down before furiously starting to dig. I didn’t even bother dusting off the dirt staining my robes, or the tiny bits of sandy soil stuck between my fingernails, even though it was quite painful.
“Have you gone crazy?!” Someone grabbed my hands, then lifted my head. I saw Han Zichuan’s knitted eyebrows, and felt a little sad.
“What are you doing?!”
“Don’t get in my way…”
Something had been trying to emerge from the depths of my mind. But after he interrupted, it was shaken, and turned back into a blank s.p.a.ce. I only stared dumbly at the toys in the dirt as if dazed.
Why was it that little piece of red wood was already long gone?
“Brother Shao, I know it’s not good for me to say such things now,” Han Zichuan carefully took a breath, holding his robes as he knelt by my side. “If we disturb someone’s rest like this, we’ll gain retribution.”
I looked at him as if he was an idiot. He squeezed my hand before letting it go, a warm smile in his eyes. After carefully observing me, he added on another line. “Fang Hua’s almost home. We should leave.”
His determined tone dragged me back to reality.
— [Most up to date translations for this series can be found on volaretranslations.]
If Fang Hua knew I came here…he’d definitely punish me. In a flash, I’d gotten to my feet, my body unsteady. Han Zichuan scooped me over with a smile, and patted me lightly on the back. “Brother Shao, your body’s really skinny, I can hold onto you with just one arm.”
I stood stunned, unable to react. His hand felt the side of my body again. With a surprised noise, he leaned over to sniff the s.p.a.ce around my head before smilingly pointing with a finger. “Your scent has the same fragrant aroma as the grave mound.”
What a ‘nice guy’…
You rogue, it’s you who smells like a grave mound! I rolled my eyes and looked over, pointing behind his back. He cluelessly followed my gaze and I took the chance to kick him with all my strength, the action quick and clean. Then I shook out my sleeves and started walking away.
He followed behind me with a bitter expression on his face, tripping and stumbling along, his limp more p.r.o.nounced than before.
When we got home, it was already dark.
Fang Hua sat in the courtyard, sipping from a cup of tea. Occasionally he’d raise his head to glance at us, but he didn’t say a word. I felt both awkward and uncomfortable.
I grabbed a pair of chopsticks and sat at the table, ducking my head as I filled my bowl without a peep. Han Zichuan hobbled halfway around the table, unsure of where to sit.
“Zichuan, what happened to your leg?” Fang Hua lowered his head, s.h.i.+fting the lid of his teacup as he sipped. “Where did you two go?”
The air suddenly turned cold.
-o- [Most up to date translations for this series can be found on volaretranslations.]
[1]drum-shaped rattle (拨浪鼓) －bo lang gu, or “wave-shaking drum”, a small toy for kids. You place the handle between your palms and rub them against each other to rotate the drum, causing the ends of the ‘drumsticks’ to hit its surface. Can get pretty loud and annoying if you give it to toddlers. ; A ; Check out the den-den daiko in the link here too, it’s basically the same thing.
[2]diabolo (空竹) －kong zhu, more commonly known as a Chinese yo-yo.
[3]dou weng (抖嗡) －or “trembling drone/buzz/hum”, another name for the Chinese yo-yo based on the noise it makes when it’s in motion.
[4]that child (吾孩儿) －wu hai er, in which 孩儿 is child, and 吾 is a really…tricky p.r.o.noun. It could mean both I/me or we/us. Without proper context, I can’t tell if the letter from the corpse is saying “take care of my child” or “take care of our child”. Neither can Shao’er I bet, so I made a compromise with the translation.