Part 23 (1/2)
When we reached our floor, I held the door and then followed Clare into the apartment. I looked around the place, unsure what to do with it. It was too much for me, but if Clare didn't want it... ”We could sell it.”
”Where would you live?” she asked.
”Somewhere else. Where would you live?”
She smiled bitterly and tossed her bag onto a chair. ”Somewhere else. I don't know how to not have money, but I hear some people do it. G.o.d, I never realized how ungrateful I am.”
”I'll give you alimony.” I had plenty of money, even without a job. When my father died, I'd inherited more than I could ever spend. Like my brother, I'd given most of it away, but I'd also invested some of it. Added to the holdings I'd acc.u.mulated over the years from other sources, and it would be a very long time before my grandchildren ran out. If I ever had grandchildren.
Of course, I didn't know what I'd do with myself if I didn't work. What could possibly eat up ninety-plus hours of my week? Then I thought of the one thing that could fill up that time and more, and keep me happy throughout. If only she felt the same.
30.
Hayden ”What time is it?” Sira's voice was groggy.
I looked at my watch. ”It's 1:00 am. I'm sorry. Go back to sleep.” I should've called earlier, before Clare had broken out the drinks for our 'coming out, getting divorced, being disowned, and getting fired' celebration. But then, earlier, I hadn't had a half a bottle of champagne and a few gla.s.ses of bourbon in me, and would probably have thought it was a bad idea to call Sira at all.
”Is everything okay?”
Yes. No. Kind of. ”It will be, eventually.” That was a good bet. Pat yourself on the back for that one.
”Hang on.”
I heard ruffling, probably of her bedding. I didn't want to think about it too much-her in bed, what she was wearing, how she looked when she first woke up. ”Go back to sleep. I'm sorry I woke you.”
”Shut up. I'm awake and won't be able to go to sleep until I know why the h.e.l.l you called me this late. And it better not be that portfolio thing because I haven't finished it yet, and I will let you know when I do.”
”I was fired.”
”Seriously?” All remnants of sleep left her voice. ”Oh, no! What happened?”
”I can't tell you everything because it's not my place to share certain information with you. I would if I could because I don't want to keep things from you, but I can't.” Great, I had just enough alcohol in me to not make sense. ”What I can tell you is that Clare's father is a complete and total a.s.shole. He found out that I'd kept something from him, so he fired me over dessert at their house. Not literally over dessert, mind you.”
She didn't answer right away, making me wonder if I'd over-explained myself into total confusion or an insult. But Clare wasn't ready to come out. When, or if, she ever was, I'd never keep another secret again.
”Wow,” she said. ”I can't believe you just called your boss an a.s.shole.”
”I think it all the time. I've just never said it before.”
”So what does that mean for you?”
”That I'm beginning to trust someone with things I've never shared before.”
”Actually, I meant about your career,” she said shyly. ”But thanks, though. That means a lot.”
”And is something I probably shouldn't have said.” I felt the heat the booze brought to my face get hotter from embarra.s.sment.
”I'm okay with it.”
Good. That meant I could try saying what I needed to. ”The reason I called you is because, unfortunately and fortunately, I don't need an a.s.sistant anymore. Obviously, I intend to find other employment, but until then...you no longer work for me.”
”Huh. Which means...?”
”Which means that due to forces beyond either of our control, anything that happens between the two of us from this point on will have no bearing on your job.”
”Huh.”
”You already said that.” I waited impatiently, not knowing what I expected her response to be, but hoping it would be more than 'huh.'
”So your boss fired you, and you're letting me go.”
Never. I'd never let her go, not until I'd done everything in my power to convince her to at least try.
”But Clare still has her position, right?” she asked.
”Her position?”
”As your wife?”
Oh s.h.i.+t. ”d.a.m.n, I meant to start with that. The reason Clare and I were at her father's house was to officially announce our separation. We're talking to a lawyer tomorrow. The paperwork might take a little while, but it will be simple and amicable. Although, we may have a rough Ro-Sham-Bo compet.i.tion for the China.”
”Huh.”
I swallowed. Yeah, I'd really expected more than a 'huh' for that part. ”In light of all this, I'd like to know if any of your guidelines are still standing, and if so, how I can rip them down.”
”Have you been drinking?”
”Yes. But that's not-”
”How drunk are you?”
I sighed and closed my eyes. This wasn't going like I'd imagined it would. ”Not enough to say things I don't mean.”
”How much did you drink?”
”Four gla.s.ses of champagne and two small gla.s.ses of bourbon. But I'm a big man. Four champagne flutes filled mostly with bubbles and two short gla.s.ses filled mostly with ice consumed over a few hours isn't enough to make me say anything I don't mean.”
”Maybe, but after being fired, making an announcement about the end of your marriage, and a few gla.s.ses of booze, you're probably not in a good state of mind to judge that.”
I shook my head. It wasn't the alcohol that made me feel this way or know it was true. ”Do you actually think these feelings are new? A result of some bad news and liquor?” I was tired of being in control of everything I said or did. Tired of holding it together for reasons I didn't understand. Clare had admitted a truth after a lifetime of holding it inside, knowing there was a big chance she'd lose. If there were a chance I'd win-a life I'd never expected with a woman I'd never expected-I had to go for it.
”I've never been happier,” I said. ”Because all I can see is a better future. Provided you're in it.”
”I'd like to wait and see if you feel the same when you've sobered up.”