Part 16 (1/2)

”Thank you for your help, Rosie.” I went back to my office, closing the door on the countless stares from those in cubicles or offices who were pretending not to gawk. I sat down at my desk and took out my cell phone. Sira didn't answer. It didn't feel right to leave a message, so I booted up my computer.

'I'm sorry.' I pressed send and sat back in my chair, waiting for her response. It came about a minute later.

'Don't be. I understand why you were suspicious.'

I didn't. 'Are we okay?'

'We're fine.'

Fine. Why did a word I could use to describe every part of my existence sound so horrible coming from her? I didn't want 'fine' anymore. I wanted great, perfect, amazing-all the words other people used to express the good in their lives. Sira was the best part of my day, just the idea that she might be thinking about me made me smile, feel grateful.

I didn't want a single part of her life to be fine. I wanted her to have so much more than fine.

I waited, trying to think of what to say. How to make it up to her, to show how sorry I was for doubting her and how much she'd helped me. Before I could come up with anything, another comment appeared.

'I'm bored. Got anything for me to do?' A great sign we'd gone back to normal. Somewhere I wasn't content to be anymore. But now wasn't the time to deal with that.

'Lots. Beginning with setting up that block on my computer.'

'Okay. Did you set up a new pa.s.sword? Make sure it has numbers and punctuation.'

Yeah, can't forget that. 'Hang on.' I logged onto my email account and went through the required steps, surprised at how quickly I'd learned a very simple task that I'd never bothered to learn before I met her. When I typed in the new pa.s.sword, I smiled. At least it would be something I'd never forget.

When I heard my door open, I turned around to see Bart, red-faced, storming into my office as if his name were on the door instead of mine.

”Tell me what happened.”

I held up a finger, knowing it was going to p.i.s.s the man off, but only slightly caring. He certainly deserved it after believing in a thief more than me. He sat down in the chair his daughter had bought me as a wedding gift. Beautiful chair. You couldn't tell by looking at it, but it was insanely uncomfortable, for me at least. My legs are too long. How many things in my life could I say the same thing about-looks perfect but doesn't fit me.

'I need to go. Do what you have to do for the security.' I signed off and spun my chair around to face my boss. I explained what had happened, leaving only Sira's involvement out-my suspicions and her retrieval of the information.

Unfortunately, Bart didn't get to be who he was by having a good nature or being slow. ”How'd you find out what the c.o.c.ksucker did?” Initially, I'd considered it a sign of trust that Bart felt comfortable using his more colorful expressions around me. It turned out trust had nothing to do with it. Bart simply behaved the way he wanted to and people let him. I let him.

Some would look down in discomfort or even blush, but they would never say anything aloud. Very similar to how people had reacted to my father. As if I needed another reason to dislike the man.

”I have a friend who's good with computers and followed the trail back to Tim.” I should've said 'my a.s.sistant.' It would've been nice to give Sira credit for what she'd done, at least. Before I could correct myself, Bart spoke.

”Well, you owe him a drink.” Of course, he would a.s.sume my friend was male-she was far too competent to be a woman. ”A couple drinks, because that computer s.h.i.+t ain't your forte. Or mine.”

”Great idea. I'll do that as soon as possible.” Take her out for a drink under the guise of a celebration for a job well-done.

”I thought you were slipping, Bennett. Heard a few things that...disturbed me, and thought you were slipping. I'm glad I was wrong.” That was as close to an apology as I'd ever heard him say.

”As much as I appreciate you saying that”-and was uncomfortable that he had-”unfortunately, you weren't entirely wrong. I neglected the security on my email account and let Tim walk right in. It's been changed since, and I'm having my friend upgrade everything.”

”Hmm...I hate this computer s.h.i.+t. It doesn't make any sense-information gets turned into numbers and sent through wires to be put back together? How the f.u.c.k does that make any sense?” He shook his head. ”Maybe I'm just too old, a relic of the past.” He may have paused to give me time to disagree. I always disagreed with him, except for comments like that. So I looked at him pleasantly and waited for him to leave.

Bart cleared his throat. ”We can't have anybody sneaking around in those computers, and it's happening more and more often. Today is the first time it's happened in my company, but then, maybe there's somebody out there who has already gotten in and seen everything. The b.a.s.t.a.r.d could just be waiting for the right time. Or the right offer. Get your buddy to take a look at the whole system, see what he thinks we need. Tell him he can bid for the contract, and we'll put him high on the list.”

That was the best offer Sira would ever get from him-'Thanks for uncovering a thief and possibly saving us millions, but you're still not getting s.h.i.+t.'

”I'll pa.s.s along the offer.”

”Tim, huh?” he asked in wonder, putting his hands behind his head and leaning back in the chair until the front two legs lifted off the ground. ”Would've never thought he'd do something like that. Didn't think he'd have the b.a.l.l.s to. Never trust a f.a.ggot, Hayden. Especially the ones who don't own up to what they are. They're used to lying.”

I clenched my eyes at the slur. Over the years, I could probably count how many conversations I'd had with Bart in which he didn't use that word, or another equally derogatory one. Bart was of the mind that as long as he didn't say them in front of 'the little queers who were overly sensitive and had teams of lawyers on speed-dial,' then he was being respectful of their 'girlie' sensibilities. That he could speak his hate freely in front of his friends and family bothered me even more than his belief that I was in both of those groups. And Clare? Well, Clare was family and surely felt the same way he did about everything and everyone.

”Tim isn't gay,” I said. ”He's a dishonest a.s.shole.”

”Same thing.”

”Not the same thing, Bart,” I snapped. ”Completely different things.”

Bart lifted his head, his eyes wide. Then he c.o.c.ked his head to the side. ”You say potatoes, I say po-ta-toes,” he sang...badly. ”You say...”

I smiled at the reference, not at the man who'd used it. For once, I agreed with him. I would do anything to call this whole thing off.

22.

Andi When I told Rob the news about Tim, and that I'd found a way to prove Tim was a d.i.c.khead without bringing Rob or me into it at all, the grat.i.tude in his voice was palpable. Then Emilia grabbed his phone and put it on speaker, so I got to hear him explain the entire thing to her and then listen to her verbally beat him up for being stupid, not telling her earlier, and dragging me into it. Eventually, I hung up to give them some privacy. When Rob called me back a while later, they both apologized and thanked me.

The last thing I deserved was their grat.i.tude. I mean, it wasn't as if I hadn't gotten something out of it. Plus, I'd broken a whole bunch of promises and laws to do it, so I put a quick end to their undeserved appreciation, said goodbye, and went to bed.

'Power and money make men do awful things.'

'True,' I typed. 'Although, you have a ton of power and money. So why aren't you a douchebag?'

'Oh, I am. Not sure how you missed it.'

I laughed. 'I miss a lot of stuff.'

'You mean like me not being a bird-loving dead man?'

Oh s.h.i.+t. 'You had to bring that up, didn't you?'

'Of course. I'm a douchebag, remember?'

It had only taken a day for Hayden and me to slip back into our normal working relations.h.i.+p. It had taken two more days for us to start a different kind of relations.h.i.+p, one where he felt obligated to check in with me regularly for no apparent reason other than boredom. A week and a half later, I couldn't get rid of him. Not that I'd tried very hard, of course.

I tried. 'Unless you really start paying me to giggle, I should get back to work.'

'Am I annoying you?'

'Yes.' No. If anything, it was annoying that I didn't get annoyed by his constant interruptions.

'Then I'll try to stop. But I'm fairly sure I'll fail.'