Part 10 (1/2)

”No matter what happens, I'll never complain about you.”

”Even if you don't, I wouldn't be able to work with you anymore.”

”What if I hired you full-time and kept my mouth shut?”

”Then you'd be a liar,” she snapped. ”And I'd be a wh.o.r.e.”

I flinched back in my chair. ”Whoa! That's not at all what I meant. Not even a tiny bit. All I'm trying to do is find a solution. I'm not asking for more than a meeting.” Right now. After a moment, I asked, ”Do you believe me?”

”Yes,” she said quietly. ”But I still don't think it's a good idea.”

”What if we'd met somewhere else, in one of those chat rooms or something and you didn't work for me? Would you agree to meet me for dinner?”

”In this scenario, are you married?”

”Barely.” In this scenario or not. ”We've both admitted that it's over, but it's still not public record. Would you say yes to dinner?”

”Yes.” It came out as a whisper, like a secret she didn't want to share or admit to. So I knew neither of us was speaking hypothetically anymore.

I sighed, feeling unbelievably selfish, and unbelievably happy, and unbelievably guilty all at the same time.

”I never want to hurt you or create any problems for you.”

”Too late.”

”Have I hurt you?”

”No, but you've created a lot of problems.”

”Ah, well then, I-”

”Because I want to meet you, too. And that's not good.”

I couldn't have disagreed more. It was very good. All I had to do now was find a way to make the hypothetical into something real.

”I'd like to meet you, talk to you in person. That's all. I have zero intention of doing anything else. We would just be two people who get along, getting along face-to-face. Is that possible?”

”No.”

I sighed. I was so used to getting my way, being able to logically argue my point until the other person had no choice but to agree. This wasn't business, though. This was more personal, more... me. That's what made it so different and so frightening.

”How would meeting me be any worse than autocorrect and typos?”

”To err is human, Hayden,” she said wistfully.

So is to love.

12.

Andi ”Are we there yet?” I asked Emilia about two minutes into our jog. By 'jog,' I mean twenty feet of traditional jogging followed by thirty feet of dragging my feet while we power-walked. And by 'power-walk,' I mean walk slowly with bent elbows and fisted hands.

”Not even close. So you gonna tell me what happened or what?”

”Nothing, why?” Oh, s.h.i.+t. Rob must have told her about being blackmailed and that I was supposed to get him out of it. I still hadn't decided what to do. Every time Hayden sent me something about Inspex, I felt like I needed to throw up. What information could I possibly give Rob that wouldn't do ma.s.sive damage to Hayden's project?

Or maybe Emilia had spoken to Hayden, and he'd told her he was feeling uncomfortable or that he needed to switch to a more professional a.s.sistant, a smart one. Totally logical, because right now, I didn't qualify.

”Well, something happened, because up until two seconds ago, your smile was huge. And don't blame the sunlight again.”

Oh. I blew out a breath, even heavier than the last few. I hated keeping things from her, but I knew how badly she would freak out if I told her about the conversation I'd had with her husband. Plus, that wasn't what I'd been smiling about. ”Runner's high just wore off.”

”We've gone about five hundred feet.” True, but early in the morning in Golden Gate Park, weaving in and out and around all the other runners tripled the actual distance traveled.

I stalled until I knew she wasn't going to let me out of it. ”Someone messaged me.” And I shouldn't be thinking about it or re-reading it in my mind obsessively.

”Are you s.e.xting with someone? I can't get Rob to do that with me. He claims it's something about getting a hard-on at work, but what's the point of having your own firm if you can't get a hard-on whenever you want, right?” Her smile was tight from the effort we were putting into our twice-a-week torture run.

”I agree with Rob. Not because of the hard-on thing, but because I know how easy it is for other people to find that stuff online.” I thought of Hayden's last message-'Just looked up how much I pay you an hour. To save money and time, from now on, I'm going to leave all the vowels out of my texts. Thx :)' Then the next: 'Btw yr gttng mr mny nw.' It had taken me a minute to try all the possible vowel combinations. Once I'd figured it out, I thanked him for the raise.

”This one was a regular message,” I said. ”But it was...cute.”

”What the h.e.l.l? Cute? Andi Clark used the word 'cute.' Definite sign of the apocalypse.”

”I seriously hope you're wrong. No way could we outrun a zombie yet.” I wiped my hands over my face-hiding and trying to wipe off any sign of happiness that might be on there. ”Ugh. I'm stupid-smiling about someone I have no right to stupid-smile over.”

”Why not?”

”I have a confession.”

”Say two Hail Marys and call me in the morning.”

”I'd rather have two b.l.o.o.d.y Marys and call you in the morning.” I slowed down and stepped off the path so we wouldn't get trampled by other runners-not that I'd really consider us runners, of course. But we were trying.

She followed me, taking her water bottle out of the clip at her waist. ”Confess quickly, before my heart rate goes back to sitting-on-the-couch level.”

”I should've told you right away, but I wasn't sure what it meant or if it meant anything.”

”Yikes, Andi is wearing her serious face today. What's up?”

We rested while I considered how to tell her about Hayden. ”I think I screwed up again.”

Emilia's body tightened. ”In what way?” I couldn't blame her for being suspicious. She had every reason to be. When I screwed up, I screwed up big. And she always felt obligated to find a solution. It wasn't what I wanted, and I'd told Emilia countless times not to do it, but it always happened anyway. Which might be one of the reasons why I waited so long to tell her anything. But this one could affect her business, so I had to come clean. At least partially. Kind of like when you take a shower but don't wash your hair-that kind of coming clean.

”A line may have been crossed with one of my clients.”

”What kind of line?” she asked after a long sigh. Probably more from needing oxygen after our attempted run than from frustration with me, but I wouldn't put money on it.