Part 1 (1/2)
Virtually Impossible.
Once and Forever.
Lauren Stewart.
Pixel Mischief Design.
Adian Editing Literally Addicted to Detail Hourgla.s.s Editing.
The Hyde series Hyde, an urban fantasy Jekyll Strange Case.
The Heights Unseen.
Unearthed Into the Light Once and Forever.
Darker Water Virtually Impossible No Experience Required.
Second Bite.
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For the people whose support and encouragement reminded me that life isn't about being perfect-it's about being who we really are. Thank you from the bottom of my flawed and crazy heart.
there was a woman who made the mistake of trusting the wrong man. And that mistake led to another. And another and another, each more damaging than the last. But the woman was as ignorant of her mistakes as she was of the damage they caused. Until she was punished for them. But because all knew she'd acted out of youth and naivete, imagined love and true stupidity, her punishment was not grave.
However, the woman believed she had not paid enough for what she'd done and how stupid she had been. So the punishment she gave herself was far, far more severe.
She locked herself behind gla.s.s, only coming out from behind it when she was forced to, which wasn't often. And the longer she stayed behind the gla.s.s, the safer she felt until she didn't see it as a prison at all. Until she loved it for its beauty and depended on it for its clarity.
For, you see, her cage was made from one-way gla.s.s, and the mirror faced out, so the woman never had to look at her own reflection. And when she saw the world beyond the gla.s.s, things were clear and simple and fair, for she was not part of the world, but separate from it. And from behind the wall, there was nothing hidden from her and everything to hide behind.
Day after day she toiled, working hard to repay the wrong she'd unwittingly done and the people she'd unwittingly hurt. And thus, she became so focused she didn't feel how the gla.s.s pressed in on her, how hard it became for her to breathe. And when she finally did realize, it didn't matter anymore, for she believed the tiny box was what she justly deserved for believing the lies told to her. So of her own volition, she remained behind the gla.s.s, knowing that one day she would have no more mistakes to make, no one left to hurt, no more sins to pay for, and no more air to breathe.
1.
Andi.
”He fired me, Andi. That f.u.c.king foot-freak fired me.”
”Who? Wait, what?” I picked up my cell phone, took it off speaker, and held it to my ear. ”When did we start speaking in alliteration?”
”Never. That'd be weird.” Sara sighed. ”Can you believe that b.a.s.t.a.r.d?”
”Well...” Honestly, it wasn't a huge surprise she'd gotten fired by- ”A f.u.c.king foot-what?”
”The foot-fetis.h.i.+st,” she grumbled. ”Jon-Jon. Who names their kid Jon-Jon when their last name is Johnson, anyway?”
”Maybe his parents wanted him to go into politics.” Or die in a tragic airplane crash. Man, they must have been so disappointed when their little Jon-Jon turned his kinky fetish into a very successful, high-end women's footwear company.
”I thought he was your favorite client.” The virtual a.s.sistant agency we worked for was doing really well, but little Jon-Jon had been her biggest account. The problem: Sara was all kinds of wonderful things, but neither 'hard worker' nor 'normal' had made it into the mix. She claimed it was due to size constraints-she was tiny and weighed practically nothing. I'd always believed it was because she came from an obscenely wealthy family and never had to pray our boss would forget it was July and give out Christmas bonuses early. Since I weighed a lot more than nothing, came from nothing, and prayed for Christmas every day, I'd had to make up for it in hard work. I'd given up on being normal years ago.
”He was. Right up until the moment he fired me.” She paused. ”I hope he doesn't expect me to give back all those shoes.”
”He gave you shoes?” Eww. ”Tell me you didn't send him pictures of your feet or anything.”
”Gross. No.”
Thank goodness-I wasn't sure Sara actually knew what 'boundaries' were. ”So what happened?”
”His wife happened.”
”Oh s.h.i.+t, Sara.” I guess in Sara's world, kinky pictures of feet crossed a line that intercourse didn't. ”What did you do?”
”He told me he was divorced! I should've looked him up. I should've.” No, she shouldn't have slept with a client at all, or even met him face-to-face...or whatever-part-of-hers met whatever-part-of-his.
d.a.m.n it, that was not the kind of visual I wanted before my fourth cup of coffee or, you know, ever.
”What does it say about me that every guy I've ever slept with more than once has been a total d.i.c.k?” she whined.
”That you should seriously consider abstinence?” The chance of her considering it was only slightly higher than the chance she'd actually try it. But I had to mention it, seeing how well it was working for me and how amazing my life was. Oh wait, my life sucked. Right.
”Take heart, Sara, I'm sure the men you only sleep with once are a.s.sholes, too.”
”Gee, thanks, Andi. I'm such a fan of your pep talks.”
”Don't worry about losing one a.s.shole. Emilia will a.s.sign you another one right away.” A good friend tells you what you need to hear. A great friend tells you the truth, whether you need to hear it or not. ”Just, you know, try not to sleep with him.”
I shoved my chair back from my desk and spun around, blinking to get rid of the afterglow of the computer screen. I realize it's not actually called 'afterglow,' but it's the closest thing to it that I've experienced in a really long time.
And I'll say it again: My life sucks. But only for the last...say...twenty-three years of it or so.
If I'd known how it was all going to turn out, I would've never left the womb.
”Honestly, we should be celebrating that you're rid of him.”
”I hate men,” she said. ”I'm going back to one-night-only status. Updating my Facebook profile as we speak.” Thankfully, that wasn't an option...I don't think.