Chapter 39 (2/2)

I knew this departed from what I was taught . But in that moment, my heart was devilishly overjoyed . I was like a freed demon, evil yet merry .

I shouldn’t have treated Yin Li that way, but I resented his sister out of jealousy . My resentment was so strong that I even resented him . I couldn’t help myself . I just wanted to treat him this way .

Yet Yin Li maintained his good bearing . Seeing the crushed cigarette, he merely smiled at me .

“Sorry, I didn’t know . Thank you for correcting me,” He replied in French . Surprisingly, his French was like a native’s . My feelings were only exacerbated .

“You’re very fluent in French . ” I lifted my chin in arrogance, yet I was silently astonished that I was still talking to him .

Yin Li stared at me for a while . “Thank you . ” Then, he called out to me just as I turned and was about to leave . “You are the only dancer I’ve seen who has such a stiff face . The other girls are clearly lively and laugh a lot . Although ballet is an elegant art, if you emphasize that elegance too much, you’ll seem too arrogant . Dancers should have a little down-to-earth quality to them, so that they can better connect with their audience while still being graceful .

“Miss, you should smile more . ” Then he straightened, walked over, and questioned, “What’s your name? Su Rui? I remember Yin Xuan telling me that Su Rui was a French-born Chinese who spoke French better than Mandarin . Yin Xuan seemed close to her . My sister keeps reminding me to remember her friends’ names . ” As he said this, his expression was quite sheepish .

I naturally didn’t want Yin Xuan to know of this matter and blurted out, “No, I’m not Su Rui . My last name is Yan . ” Then I turned and left without looking back .

I clearly remember how I felt at that time . I was so nervous . It was as if I had done some shameful, horrible thing . But a part of me was still happy I lied and didn’t get caught . Even after I returned to practice, I felt like I was stepping on clouds . I felt so light that I couldn’t even tell a dream from reality .

Only until a few years later would fate have me meet Yin Li again in such a manner . He thought I couldn’t remember how we first met . Those memories might have been locked away by the amnesia or it might have been so trivial that it wasn’t worth remembering in the first place . I didn’t tell him, but I remembered . Back then, I also thought that it was such a trivial occurrence that Yin Li wouldn’t remember it either and quickly forget that such a thing happened . But when he met me again, he named me Yan Xiao, meaning “to smile” . So he still remembered .

We both lie in each other’s memories . We were engraved in those memories for so many years . Only until we understood the rhythm of time did we both rouse each other’s memories up .

But I didn’t plan on saying on this . I didn’t plan on telling either Yin Xuan or Yin Li . This was my secret, and love needs to have its secrets .

All these memories flashed by in an instant . Yin Xuan was sitting quietly in front of me and I told her, “Your life was never worse than mine . Quite the opposite . When you were envious of others lives, your own life was also a source of envy for others . You should not give up on ballet . You are more suited for it than I . If you just waste your life away like this you’ll only be a loser . ”

Yin Xuan seemed to have been moved by my words but she still seemed to struggle to grasp them . “But what about my brother? Ever since my brother had you by his side, he clearly treated me more coldly . I can’t accept that . I didn’t even object to you two being together . But he’s recently so busy with your matters . He doesn’t show any concern for me . If he came knocking on my door every day, there’s no way I would refuse him every time . ”

She still spoke like a spoiled child .

“Your brother loved you from the very start . You are his only sister . No one can take your place in his heart . Besides being busy with my exhibition, do you know how hard he’s working to get you a spot in the compet.i.tion?” I looked down at the floor . “Moreover, everyone has their own life . You can’t be with Yin Li forever . He’s already cherished you dearly for twenty years . I’m just taking a little bit of that love away, and that’s all I ask for .

“I can only say this much . Even though your body has changed, you know better than I that the moment you pick up your ballet shoes, there’s nothing in the world that can stop you .

“I’m sincerely inviting you to dance with me . I didn’t treat you fairly before, and I had even resented you . You were like me, and that’s why we were both punished . But now we can both be better people . We can communicate with ballet and perhaps even because of that, help each other and improve . I imagine this is also what Yin Li wants . He loves me, and I love him just as much . If we can’t make up, he’s sure to be the one who suffers the most . ”

Yin Xuan bit her lip and glared at me . “Fine, I’ll go . Since you once said that you pushed yourself hard to lose weight and exercise to return to the stage, I’m sure I can do it too . Just to be clear, it’s not for you . I’m doing it for my brother . As for myself, you were right . I’m not worse than you . Also, with your car accident, the condition of your legs can’t be better than mine . If even you don’t give up, why should I?”

The day of the exhibition was drawing close . I gave Yin Xuan the program schedule . Once I saw that she had recovered her energy, I left . She sat on the sofa, not bothering to send me to the door . But once I opened the door to leave, I thought I heard her quietly say thanks .

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