Chapter 29.2 (1/2)

Published

at 10th of June 2019 08:51:44 PM

Chapter 29.2

This conversation naturally ended badly . I coldly watched Yin Xuan’s departing figure .

From a young age, she had been sheltered too well . Even if the sky fell, she would believe that money could resolve the issue . If that didn’t work, there was still her brother . Her understanding of the world was too biased because of how willful she was . She felt that I was taking advantage of Yin Li . But what did she know?

I hated Yin Li, yet I also depended on him and needed him . And at the same time, I carried an extreme loathing of myself for being like that .

But regardless, I deeply disdained relying on anyone . No one had ever given anything to me . Everything I had, that could be counted as my own, I had gained by my own efforts and therefore was deserving of it .

That night, I continued practicing in the studio . This time, I purchased a length of black cloth . I cut it into a suitable width and wrapped it around my head to cover my eyes .

When I had my eyes open, I couldn’t help but be mesmerized by the world around me . But if I couldn’t see anything, only my inner emotions could affect me . Twirling in the darkness, I finally grasped how to maintain my center of gravity .

I turned off all the lights, blindfolded myself, and practiced alone in the dark .

The darkness exacerbated my anxiety and uncertainty . I couldn’t see anything . It was hard to judge s.p.a.ce and distance, and I couldn’t see my footwork or arm placement . At the start, I couldn’t avoid b.u.mping into everything . I could only attempt to feel things out by making a leap forwards, pausing, and then fumbling around to readjust . This was how much I lacked of confidence in myself when in the dark . I even had a slight fear of its silence .

In the dark, I was in a deadlock with an imaginary enemy . We spun, leapt, and twirled .

Ballet is not just a visual art, it is one of the spirit .

In the midst of all the silence, darkness, and sweat, I finally felt came to an equilibrium between my body and spirit .

I seamlessly linked up the spins and other movements into a continuous chain . On a burst of energy, I could even attempt the rapid turns of modern dance .

After pus.h.i.+ng myself like this a few nights in a row, I was finally satisfied and loosened my blindfold . I returned to the auditorium of the recital, turned on the stage lights, climbed up, and stood in the center of the stage .

Even looking out to all the empty audience seats below, I felt content . I had finally learned how to balance my pain and solitude .

Standing on that stage gave me a strange sort of feeling, like I had returned home . It was like poison, one becomes addicted yet is unaware . The desire to be on a stage seemed to be a thirst that flowed in my blood .

As I progressed in ballet, I slowly realized how large a part dance occupied in my heart, and how crazed it made me .

With every spin, I didn’t need to think of anything . Dance was my life, my language, and my soul that I wished to set free .

Wu Ke could no longer use surprise as an emotion to express how she felt toward my dancing . Rather, as she watched, it seemed to become ecstasy .

And so, I auditioned for “Only I Dance” .

“You’re hired?! Yan Xiao, good work!”

I had only received the casting confirmation, and hadn’t even been a.s.signed a role yet . But Wu Ke, hearing of the news, seemed to be even more excited than me . “If you stand on stage in front of an audience, you will not be overlooked . When you dance, I can feel an unstoppable vitality . ”

At the end of the year, I bid farewell to Wu Ke and left for the movie set . Because of the many scenes featuring the corps de ballet, they had hired a good number of people . The director needed to ensure that even if members of the corps de ballet became injured and unable to perform, there would be enough backups .

For most of the time, we only followed what the ch.o.r.eographer told us to do . I didn’t catch any glimpse of Yin Xuan .

On the day that she did finally appear, it was very lively as expected .

“No, I want someone else! She’s too slow by half a beat and can’t keep up with the tempo . I almost b.u.mped into her once . I don’t feel safe dancing next to her . ” Yin Xuan argued with the director as the makeup artist applied her makeup .

The director was embarra.s.sed . “But this is already the eighth person . The shooting has already been delayed considerably . ”

“Then find someone from the corps . I really can’t perform with a dancer like her around . ”

The director reviewed the dancer’s footage, and in the end, agreed to Yin Xuan’s demand . He immediately turned to face the members of the corps de ballet’s rest area and announced, “We need to make a change to Miss Yin’s dance accompaniment and select another dancer . If you would like to be considered, please sign up and prepare to perform a short segment . We will be picking someone from amongst you all . ”

Many young girls in the corps de ballet hoped to gain more screen time, be discovered on the silver screen, and achieve stardom overnight . There seemed to be no hesitation among them . Everyone vied to perform directly in front of Yin Xuan and the director .

Yin Xuan watched each member of the corps de ballet dance . Her expression was cold and serious .

I came forwards to stand in front of her .

She only intently studied my footwork, and didn’t notice my face .

“This one will do,” she turned to the director and said . Then, she finally saw my face .

I quietly stood to one side and looked back at her, my gaze unyielding .

She quickly withdrew the brief flash of surprise from her face, and then gave me a profound smile . “Director Meng, I don’t want her anymore . ”

“I don’t want her as dance accompaniment . I want her playing the supporting character . ”