Chapter 27 (1/2)

Published

at 13th of May 2019 11:22:52 PM

Chapter 27

Chapter 27

I finally got to put on a leotard . But matters were far from progressing smoothly .

My teacher was apparently the languid woman from the registration counter . Her name was Wu Ke .

She shot me a glance . “I haven’t taught the basics in a long time . ” She turned around and started playing a recording of a piece by Tchaikovsky . “If you can’t perform to my standard or if you feel I’m too strict, you can request a different teacher . As for now, watch me and copy my movements . Get a feel for it . ”

Her att.i.tude was always very indifferent, and equally as cold . However, when she stood upright, with her back facing towards me and a hand on the rail, and began to move, she transformed . As cold and indifferent she was before, she was now just as refined and focused . It was like she was a whole new person . She was no longer that ordinary woman . Every lift of her hand and stretch of her feet was dazzling .

As I faced the mirror, I strived to mimic her . She would turn around to correct my hand placement and hand shape, or mistakes in my posture .

“Your feet! How many times have I said it! You have to turn out for a turnout! Lower your shoulders and draw out circles with your leg while remaining in place . No good! Your turnout isn’t large enough! And your feet don’t have enough strength!”

The hand movements were easy to learn . However, the foot movements were also an important essence of ballet . Yet every little thing was difficult for me to do . The car accident made my legs weak . Merely practicing like this for one morning made me feel like they couldn’t support my body anymore .

“Are you a pig? Why can’t you do even do a simple turnout properly?! How could you even dream of learning ballet like this? I’ve never seen a student as idiotic as you!” Wu Ke indeed wasn’t a teacher with a good temper . When she started teaching, she was no longer that even-tempered, languid person . Instead, she was quickly and easily angered .

For a whole week I continued mechanically practicing those basic steps . Meanwhile the eyes with which Wu Ke looked at me seemed to become increasingly impatient . Even as she corrected my movements, her mocking and scolding grew more and more frequent .

“With your sort of ‘talent’, forget about going en pointe for the rest of your life! Not to mention, the scars on your legs are a defect that no stage can tolerate . With all these, forget about performing on stage . Especially with how stupid you are!”

“It’s best that you just stop dancing . I’ll refund your money . Consider this as me begging you . ”

Her mocking words became even more hurtful to hear . But I just gritted my teeth and turned a deaf ear to it . I continued practicing facing the mirror . Sometimes, I wouldn’t progress for the whole afternoon . She stood there on the side, her impatience written on her face . Yet I continued to dance .

But today was different . There was a problem with the electric wiring in the practice room . The air conditioning and fan were all on strike . Even the advanced cla.s.s, which was full of girls who aimed to test into the top-tier ballet companies, were so hot that they all stood to one side to rest and gossip . Of course, I was also sweating buckets . But after thinking about it, I faced the mirror anyway and continued to practice .

It was very awkward to practice all by myself . All the people who could dance a million times better than you, stood right behind you . They used all sorts of critical, sarcastic, or mocking gazes to look at you .

“I bet she won’t last till next Wednesday . Haha, she apparently got a.s.signed to Wu Ke, the teacher with the worst temper . Even we wouldn’t be willing to have Wu Ke teach us . She’s so talentless and Wu Ke’s words are so harsh . No matter how thick her skin is, within a few days she’ll be crying from all the scolding and quit . ” They merrily fanned themselves with their hands while mocking me like this .

The heat wave surged on, and I continued to stare at myself in the mirror as I did the most basic movements .

“First bend the knee and put your leg forward . Half bend . Straighten . Full bend . Return . ” I didn’t know when Wu Ke returned . She was impatient, yet still stood in the hot, stuffy room correcting my posture . “How are you so stupid?! Use your hands too! Extend your arm forwards . Then backwards . Straighten! Keep your balance . Good! Relax your fingers . Relax them more!” Then she came over and physically moved my hands . Then she slapped my belly and said, “Tighten your abdomen!”

“Good . Maintain this posture . Extend your whole body . Concentrate your strength . Slowly feel the movement of the energy in your body . Calm your heart, from the top of your head spreading outwards . Ballet is an art of strength . You are the master of every inch of muscle in your body . ”

It was rare that Wu Ke didn’t mock me as much this time . The practice room was filled with gla.s.s windows . With the sun s.h.i.+ning in, the temperature quickly rose .

We practiced like this the whole afternoon . By the time the air conditioning finally kicked in again, we were both already full of sweat .

I then noticed that in the place I had been standing before, there had already acc.u.mulated a small pool of sweat .

My earnest practice probably changed something fundamental . Afterwards, I progressed at lightning speed . Though Wu Ke still frequently scolded me, I respected her from the bottom of my heart .

Compared to those teachers who simply played music and made beginners practice with the advanced cla.s.s, Wu Ke was strict and had a terrible temper, but her teaching was always sincere .

However, I still hit a bottleneck .

After the basics, I would be going en pointe . My feet weren’t in good shape and my legs didn’t have enough strength .

“This time you can’t sneakily attempt to go en pointe like last time . If you fail even slightly to properly support yourself, in the best case, you sprain your ankle . Worst case scenario, you can never dance again . Your body already isn’t in the best condition . You need to stretch out your foot more, and stretch out your instep wider in order to stand steadily en pointe . Don’t jump ahead of yourself . ”

But this time, I really wanted to jump ahead . I practiced unceasingly yet didn’t see any results . I started to become anxious and restless .

My ligaments were too tight, and couldn’t stretch open that far . My center of gravity was also unstable . Because of lack of exercise this year, my whole body felt stiff . This really wasn’t the life of a ballet dancer that I envisioned . Even the beginning moves that I had completed, I had completed with great difficulty . My goal of becoming a professional felt very far away .

I couldn’t properly stretch out my feet and waist . And when hard work couldn’t make up for my lack of ability, I started to feel a bit tired and lazy .

That day, I was in front of the mirror, killing time by stretching my legs . Wu Ke walked over . I looked up at her . Suddenly without warning, she pushed my back hard down towards my legs . She rested her whole body weight against my back .

There was a sudden, heart-splitting burst of pain . It was as if my whole body shattered into pieces . It hurt so much I started crying right then and there . It was more painful than when I had relearned how to walk .

For the rest of my life, I will never forget that feeling .

“It seems like I was too kind to you . ” Wu Ke pressed down on me . She wasn’t young anymore, and it was a bit difficult for her . But she still used every ounce of her strength to stretch me out . I could feel every tendon within me twitching in pain . I was practically able to hear the sound of my muscles pulling taut . Wu Ke didn’t relent, and I was forced to maintain this position . My sweat flowed down profusely, and it hurt so much I started screaming .

“I’m dying! Dying!”

“You have to endure past this stage . ” Wu Ke’s voice was cold and clear . “There is no move in dance that is painless . This is only the start . You have to get used to the pain . ”

“This is no ballet dancer who is satisfied with their body . This is why every day we dance facing a mirror to correct our movements . The mirror is unable to hide your mistakes . We must fight with ourselves every second of the day . ” After Wu Ke said this, she finally released me .

Wu Ke’s actions were rough and almost cruel . But I knew that this was her greatest kindness to me .

Ballet in and of itself is the practice of consistently testing the limits of the human body’s beauty . Let alone me, even the most outstanding dancers will have regrets about their bodies . Everyone’s the same . Everyone has their own difficulties . I want to go on stage and conquer mine . Or else I will only be rubbish .