Chapter 24 (1/2)
Published
at 29th of April 2019 11:33:38 PM
Chapter 24
Chapter 24
Li Jing’s expression was intense . He clenched his fist tighter and looked for a moment as if he was struggling for restraint . But in the end, he didn’t follow through with his punch . He released Yin Li and looked up at me .
It was a gaze heavy with emotion, like a separation of countless years . As if the two of us had been forced apart in a distant, faraway time, and only now had finally been reunited .
Being on the receiving end of such a deep, emotional gaze, I felt a bit uncomfortable . He had a handsome face . His figure was tall and straight, no less refined than Yin Li’s . But his silhouette had more of an abstruse depth to it, with a slightly foreign bearing . However, it was unable to stir any of my memories .
Li Jing was clearly trying to suppress his emotions . He stood firmly in place to one side, staring at me as if reluctant to give me up . Almost like I could disappear the next time he glanced over . I then noticed his left hand clenching a paper ball . It was half unfurled and vaguely revealed “marry” scrawled on it . Now, it had been stained by Yin Li’s blood and turned into a red smudge .
That was the paper ball I had thrown down from the room upstairs . I gave Li Jing another look and finally recognized him as the man I had nailed that day with the paper ball . Now, he was staring at me with an expression was as hard to describe as before .
Then with a burst of strength, he squeezed the ball into a crumpled lump and came over, wrapping me tightly in his arms .
I was so stunned that I didn’t know how to react . Li Jing’s hug was filled with his sadness that came through experiencing the vicissitudes of life . I was swept along in his scent, and for some unknown reason wanted to sigh . But in the end, I could only pat his back comfortingly .
“You’re still alive . That’s better than anything . ” His voice was low, with a slight tremble . “You’ll never know how I felt that moment when I was. .h.i.t by the paper ball . I looked up and saw you . You smiled so happily, so vividly . The paper read, ‘I’ll marry you . ’ Three words . In that split second, it was like my proposal of the past had finally received an answer . It was like a dream . ”
“That paper was for me . I was about to ask for you to return it . ” Yin Li had staunched the bleeding and stood up to speak .
Li Jing released me and turned to glare at Yin Li . There was a suppressed rage in his eyes . “That wasn’t for you . You tricked her . You nearly killed her!”
“I’m willing to compensate with the rest of my life . ” Yin Li clearly had just been injured, yet he didn’t seem the least bit downtrodden right now . He always had this sort of aura . His coolheaded confidence could shake anyone’s spirit . He turned to stare at me . “…As long as she accepts . ”
The deadlock between the two continued to persist . Luckily, the war zone moved into Yin Li’s house .
The three of us sat around a table and adopted battle-ready postures, bracing ourselves for a round of negotiations . Truth be told, the situation was a bit odd . I was a unable to sit calmly . In front of me, my two “boyfriends” emanated strong hostility at each other . They were two completely different people . I also seemed to have completely changed from an unwanted, amnesiac n.o.body to a piping hot commodity .
I even had the ill-timed thought that if I was a ballet G.o.ddess before, then other than Li Jin, maybe whole swathes of men from all around the world had fallen at my feet . Maybe my dream of “when spring comes, I’ll cart a full busload of boytoys around for a springtime outing” might be waiting right around the corner?
“I want to bring Yi Yun back to Paris . ” Li Jing’s voice was a bit emotional . “She grew up in Paris . To her, that place is more fitting to be called a homeland . It’s also a better environment for her . Her friends, family, and her past are all in France . ”
I snapped out of my drifting mind . “My family? Why is it that my family hasn’t appeared once even up till now? I even only discovered that Tang Yi Yun was my true Chinese name through my friends . Where are the people that gave me this name?”
Li Jing looked at me in slight shock, then finally lowered his gaze . “Madame pa.s.sed away four years ago . She’s buried in a public cemetery facing in the direction of the front of the ballet troupe’s stage . It was she who chose her gravesite . She said she wanted to see you dance, always . She wanted to watch you dance til the day that nothing could shroud your brilliance . You were her pride . She was the only family you had . ”
He was already doing his best to describe everything in the most palatable terms and tone, but his answer was still hard for me to swallow .
During my most solitary, helpless times when I had lost my memory, and during those times when I hadn’t yet been able to walk, I had imagined countless times that there would definitely be a day when I would be reunited with my loved ones . They didn’t need to be rich . They only needed to use their rough, weather-beaten hands to stroke my forehead, and allow me to bawl out life’s bitterness in their arms .
For all my hards.h.i.+p, I only needed that little bit of warmth to be satisfied . Just that bit would give me enough strength to stand, wounded and bleeding, to face the world .
However, now that my true ident.i.ty has surfaced, I’m still alone . I’ve rejected a proposal, and my mom has long pa.s.sed . I have no lover and no family .
I only have ballet . But even this fragile bond between the past and the present has also broken .
I felt so miserable that I was completely at a loss . I was like a block of wood . My heart was in shambles and I could barely process anything . But I could still feel pain .
“The day you had your accident was the anniversary of Madame’s pa.s.sing . You would always pay respects at her grave site that day and then quietly spend some time alone . At first, I couldn’t reach you but didn’t find anything off . ” Li Jing took a deep breath . “So now I hope that you can return with me, return to the place you belong . And not stay by this man’s side . He’s a swindler and furthermore nearly got you killed . Once we get back, we’ll slowly take our time to consider how to address this matter . ”
“Will you come?” Li Jing looked at me earnestly .
Yin Li was rarely this silent . He looked up at me and his eyes seemed to carry a trace of pleading .
I turned my head slightly, not wanting to look him in the eye . “I’ll go . ” Only then did I face Yin Li directly . “I don’t want to stay anymore . I don’t want to see Yin Xuan . She recklessly stole away everything in my life, yet is still able to hold her head up high and enjoy all of life’s pleasures . She tramped on my life to pick fresh flowers, but once the flowers were picked, still thinks I’m not even worth looking at . She can’t even bear to return to me the most ordinary of lives . ”
“I had planned to leave this place anyways . I have already contacted Frank . Once the procedures and paperwork were completed for ‘Yan Xiao’, in the end I would have left . I want to see the past me . Now, just regard it as the plans have s.h.i.+fted to an earlier date . ”
Yin Li paused . “I’ll accompany you . You haven’t recovered your memories, so that place is a completely new environment for you . You’ll need something familiar to help you feel at peace . ”
Li Jing’s mood seemed to worsen . He glared at Yin Li in rage, but Yin Li only looked at me .
I turned away . “I’m afraid that seeing you will remind me of her . ”
“And you don’t need to worry . I still have many matters to take care of . Even if I’m going to Paris, I won’t immediately be filing a legal motion against your sister . I still need to recover my ident.i.ty as Alicia before finding a lawyer . So, it’s unnecessary for you to follow me to Paris just to keep a close eye on me . Staying in China will give you enough time to figure out how to protect her . ” Those dark emotions swelled up inside me again . Even if I had one remaining relative in France who could help me find a place of belonging, I wouldn’t have said my words like this . But I was too pained . I couldn’t help but want to hurt others, and I could only hurt Yin Li .
Sometimes, knowing isn’t any better than not knowing .
I hated Yin Li . I even thought, Why couldn’t he have fooled me even a little bit more skillfully? So that I would’ve never discovered the deceit in this lifetime .
He sat in front of me with his face slightly averted . In a rare move, he took out a cigarette . In that split second, he seemed to squeeze his eyes shut in pain . But then with another look, nothing seemed to have happened . The rising smoke obscured his expression . I probably saw wrong .