Part 8 (1/2)
”If they've condemned you, then yes. Although you could try.”
”How?”
”You could get into a canoe and hope for the best. Maybe an Asmat party finds you and helps you to the coast. Or they might just take your head.”
”That's it? That's your solution?”
”Or you could make an effort to change the council's mind. Why did they condemn you? You're too ugly?”
The events of the trial spun through my mind. ”Apparently. But Kirutu, the prince from one of the tribes-”
”The Warik. He's the one who condemned you?”
”No. He made a bid for me. Two clamsh.e.l.ls.”
Michael looked astonished. ”Kirutu did? Then you're saved!”
”No. I think I offended him.”
”You what?”
”He wanted me to bear him a child.”
”But of course! Do you have any idea how valuable children are in this valley? Can you bear children?”
”I have a...”
I caught myself and turned away, doing my best to suppress the horror of my loss. But I could not stem the emotion easily and this wasn't lost on Michael.
”It's OK, my dear,” he said in a soft voice that sounded as if it might belong to an angel. ”We all have our crosses to bear.”
The last comment sparked anger in me, but I knew he meant well.
”Better not to resist it,” he said.
This proved too much for me.
”How can you be so insensitive?” I snapped. ”My son drowned out there!”
”I feel your loss. And I also know that you've arrived at exactly at the right place at exactly the right time. As have I. Resisting that truth will only cause you to suffer.”
”I already am suffering!”
”Then you will suffer more.”
He was suddenly sounding far too lucid and I wanted none of his stoic philosophy.
”This isn't the right place at any time!” I said, shoving my hand at the jungle. ”I'm nothing but an animal here! One of their wam. That may be fine for you, a man who made the choice to investigate these people, but I don't belong here.”
”And yet you are here. We both are.”
I dismissed his childish view outright but held my tongue. How cruel that my only hope for freedom was in the hands of a man who couldn't value my right to it. For a brief moment I think I despised him.
”Well, then,” he finally said. ”If you can't see the world through their eyes, you will die.” His tone had turned matter-of-fact.
”Then why did you agree to help me?” I demanded.
”I am helping you. And at great risk, I might add.”
”By telling me that my only hope is to accept my fate here? They're going to kill me tomorrow!”
”By helping you understand what we have here. Someone freed you, am I correct? You're in a world bound by laws and beliefs that haven't changed for centuries. There's conflict brewing among the tribes that you could use to your advantage. A power struggle could blow this place wide open, and, like it or not, you have some of that power.”
”Not if I'm dead.”
”Are you? Dead, that is? No. You can worry about being dead when you're dead,” he said. ”Until then, use the power you have.”
”What power? Having a child?”
I meant it as a preposterous suggestion. Michael did not.
”Naturally.” He stood and walked a few steps to the right, then back again. ”But you can't see it that way, can you? No. And frankly, I'm afraid it might be too late. Changing the council's mind would be impossible. Maybe a month ago, but things are too hot between Wilam and Kirutu. The chief is practically on his deathbed, and one of the princes will take power when he dies. Kirutu has something up his sleeve. He's a very powerful man.”
”Now you're throwing in the towel, after setting me straight?”
”You don't seem to want to be set straight,” he said.
”I want to live!”
”Then live!” he stormed. ”Bring life!” The volume of his voice stood me back. Then softer: ”Bring life, not death, my dear.”
Bring life. His conviction was so great I almost believed him.
The memory of Wilam staring at me with his look of amus.e.m.e.nt filled my mind.
”It wasn't Kirutu who condemned me,” I said. ”I think the other prince, Wilam, was behind it.”
”The prince of the Impirum,” Michael said. ”It makes perfect sense that Wilam wouldn't want his greatest rival, Kirutu, to come into possession of another slave who could bear him children. It's quite a status symbol.”
”Having a pregnant slave?”
”Fathering children. The women in the Tulim valley are plagued with infertility, something that is either hereditary or perhaps results from their diet, but without testing there's no way to know. Suffice it to say only one out of three women ever becomes pregnant. Fertile women are highly valued, as you can imagine. I would say it's a wam's only leverage.”
The whole thing bothered me to my deepest core. It went against my convictions as much as my desire.
I set my elbows on my knees and lowered my head into my hands.