Part 30 (1/2)
Truth.
And what did that truth mean, after ten years, a double-dozen worlds-a death? What did it mean here, in the place her heart called home, surrounded by friends, buoyed by a power she had thought had fled?
Lady Mendoza, the old gentleman invariably addressed her with profound respect. Lina had not found it unusual that her friend possessed power, only that she had not been taught courtesy in its use. Shan...
But it was not possible to think clearly of Shan. Certainly he regarded her abilities, like his own, as natural and acceptable. ”How do you make love?” she recalled him asking, and she put a hand to a cheeksuddenly flaming. Don't do that, Priscilla...
Last night... How much had been drug-dream, how much true actions? He had come-she wore the proof on her hand even now! He had brought her home. What else besides these was fact?
Disturbed, she turned slowly and left the 'fresher.
In the hall she hesitated. It was time she reported for duty. Yet Vilt had not released her, and the finery she wore was not meant to withstand a second mate's rounds.
”h.e.l.lo, Priscilla. Can you spare me a few moments?” Shan's voice interrupted her thoughts.
”All the moments you like,” she told him gladly even as she groped for his pattern.
It was subdued, though she caught an indefinable jolt of something as he paused and looked at her closely.
”Are you well, Priscilla? Tell me the truth, please-no heroics.”
”Well,” she caught doubt and drifted an unconscious step forward, smiling rea.s.suringly. ”I lost some weight-strong magics have that effect. Vilt has me eating the most incredible amount of food! But I am well. In fact, I was getting ready to sign out of here and go back on duty.”
”Duty? Priscilla...” He paused, glancing about. ”Is that the room you were in? Do you mind if we speak there? I...”
Something was wrong. She expanded her scope, trying to read it from his pattern, but received only a discord of pain, bitterness, anger, despair-a medley so unlike Shan that she would hardly have known him had her outer eyes been closed.
”Of course.”
He stood aside to let her enter first, then closed the door behind them and dropped into the single chair.
Uncertainly, she sat on the bed.
The silence was uneasy; scanning was worse than useless. She pulled the Master Trader's ring from her thumb and held it out.
He stared, despair increasing: taking the ring, he sat holding it between thumb and forefinger, toying with the lights among its facets.
”Have you decided,” he asked, looking at the ring, his voice husky, ”where it is I shall take you?”
She stared at him, ice blossoming in chest and belly.
”Why,” she managed, ”should you take me anywhere?”
”I gave my word,” he told the amethyst. ”You only said you would stay until you were-well, Priscilla.”
Through the isolated, tangled scenes of the night before, she recalled it and licked her lips. ”You said you-had come to take me home.”
”Did I?” Still he did not meet her eyes, but stared at the ring in his hand. ”I will then, Priscilla. But you must tell me where that is. Home.””Shan!” Anguish knifed through her; she made no attempt to damp it, and felt his answering surge of concern as he at last raised his face.
”You don't want me to go!” she cried, knowing it was truth. ”Why-”
”It doesn't matter what I want, Priscilla! What matters is what you want! If there is a place that is home to you, where you know, if you are in need, that there is someone-anyone!-who will aid you, I'll take you there. See you safe-settled...” His voice cracked on the unaccustomed harshness. Instantly the black lashes flicked down, s.h.i.+elding him.
He took a breath, then another, his emotions an unreadable riot. ”That a member of this s.h.i.+p's complement should feel there was no place to go when she was in direst need... I am ashamed, Priscilla.
I've failed you as a captain... and as a friend.”
”I want to stay.” Her words came as barely a breath of sound. She gripped the mattress and tried again.
”Captain, please. You never failed me. I failed, by not learning soon enough... by not understanding what it means to be a crew member.” Tears ran her cheeks, unheeded. ”Shan, by the Mother! The Pa.s.sage is my home. Don't-don't make me leave!” She drew a shuddering breath and loosed the mattress to wipe her face with shaking fingertips.
”Really, Priscilla, you might tell me in advance if I'm expected to provide handkerchiefs for us both.”
She gave a startled gasp, groping perhaps toward a laugh, and took the proffered cloth. ”Thank you.”
”Don't give it a thought. I have dozens. I just don't happen to have them all with me at the moment.” He leaned back, his face less bleak, his pattern showing a glimmer of what might be hope.
”The s.h.i.+p would miss the services of the second mate,” he said carefully. ”The captain's information is that the second mate progresses excellently in her training, taking over more responsibilities each s.h.i.+ft. The first mate is pleased. The captain is also pleased.”
Melant'i. She drew a deliberately even breath, relaxing tight chest muscles as she recalled sleep-lessons and Lina's tutoring. ”The second mate wishes with all her heart to continue serving the s.h.i.+p and the captain.”
Relief like a draught of ice-cold water cascaded from him to her. ”Good. You will take your duties up again in four s.h.i.+fts.” He raised a hand to still her protest. ”There is a meeting at local midnight in the port master's office, Priscilla. Since you are intimately involved, it's best that you be there. Also present will be Delm Plemia, Sav Rid Olanek, Port Master Rominkoff, Shan yos'Galan, Gordon Arbuthnot, Mr.
dea'Gauss, and Lina Faaldom, as observer.”
”Balance?”
”Balance, indeed. Which reminds me, Thodelm. Mr. dea'Gauss wishes to meet with you in a very few moments now to ascertain the extent of debt owed you by Plemia and Korval-”
”Korval owes me nothing!” she cried. ”If anything, I owe Korval for giving me a job, for-”
”Priscilla, do be reasonable. If you hadn't been on this s.h.i.+p, there quite possibly wouldn't be a s.h.i.+p right now, whether or not there was a captain. s.h.i.+p's debt exists. As well as a personal debt.”
”No,” she said stubbornly. ”I won't take payment from you. There's no debt now, if there ever was one.”
She leaned forward, extending a tentative hand. ”Shan? You gave me-a life. I gave you a life. Balance.”He hesitated, then put his hand into hers. ”Balance, then, Priscilla.” He smiled. ”You drive a hard bargain.
Mr. dea'Gauss awaits us. May I escort your Ladys.h.i.+p to the meeting?”
”No,” she said, gripping his hand and drinking in his lightening pattern with giddy joy. ”But you may escort your friend.”
Shan grinned and stood. ”Much better, I agree.” He flourished the bow between equals. ”After you, Priscilla.”
MASTER'S TOWER, THEOPHOLIS.
WITCH'S HOUR.
Ten minutes before the hour.
Taam Olanek sternly forbade himself the luxury of fidgeting with the papers before him. It was not expected that a Delm betray uneasiness. At his right hand, Sav Rid sat silent. He still did not grasp it, Taam knew, pity warring with anger. He wondered briefly what had caused the younger man's madness, and set wonder aside. It hardly mattered.