Part 3 (1/2)

”Yes, a sister with an incurable wanderl.u.s.t. She says before the end of the year but that could well mean December thirty-first,” Amanda said. ”What about you? How long do you think that you'll stay?”

My stomach raced with the question. I twirled the red wine in my gla.s.s and stared beyond Amanda, across the kitchen toward the stove where the chef and his a.s.sistant a.s.sembled our meal.

”Please say you're moving back for forever,” Amanda said. Her voice was low and there was a deep need contained in her voice. ”To have both of you here? In Los Angeles?” Her gaze flitted from me to Lane. I was the friend of her childhood and Lane the friend of her present. ”That would be too perfect for words.”

I smiled at Amanda. ”How about I'm here for right now.”

My response didn't hold a big enough commitment for her, but it was all the commitment I could give. My work called for this place, Los Angeles, the ranch, perhaps even Sterling, right now. But I did not know what I would need in three weeks, three months, or three years. I was not a resident of only Los Angeles, or America. Having lived abroad, I was now comfortable as a resident of the world.

”So, I have to be satisfied that you're here for now?” Amanda asked. Her mouth was in a half smile. She wanted more but I could not give it, I dare not. I'd already stretched our friends.h.i.+p to the limit once before when I'd left after her mother died. Even now, she knew only some of the reasons, not all. ”I mean you and Sterling are all grown up now so if something happens...”

Heat curled up my neck and filled my cheeks. I couldn't answer. To say nothing would happen between Sterling and me was to lie to Amanda and Lane, and also to myself. The heat between Sterling and me was too hot to ignore. Near the end of that summer, after our families had discovered what brewed between us, I'd told Amanda about kisses and holding hands. Her face, then, when we were teenagers, had screwed up into disgust with the idea of her best friend kissing her brother. I hadn't told Amanda everything. I hadn't been completely honest. At the time, I didn't think it wise to share the entire truth.

I tilted my head toward my gla.s.s. I kept some of those same secrets, now. As I'd gotten older and time had pa.s.sed, it seemed unnecessary to share them. But the other secrets about our families? I worried I might drive a wedge between her and me and Sterling if I ever shared those.

Sterling Rhiannon sat across from me at the dinner table and in the candlelight her skin glowed. Her conversation during dinner had been insightful and charming and funny. I could have listened to her all night. She was worldly and sophisticated, but she still retained that southern Californian charm. With dessert finally over, I relaxed into my chair. I placed my napkin beside the plate that contained the remains of my chocolate bread pudding.

”Man,” Ryan exclaimed from the head of the table, ”I can't believe I forgot, we forgot,” he waved his hand toward Dillon. ”We got the call today about The Legend Kills!”

Webber leaned forward, ”Excuse me, as your agent, I got the call today about The Legend Kills, and”-he turned his gaze to me-”while Mike Fox's offer is good-”

”Good? Good? Webber, are you high? How greedy are you?” Ryan asked with a giant what-the-f.u.c.k-smile on his face.

”I am your and Dillon's agent so, indeed, I am meant to be a pretty big f.u.c.king pig.” A smile split Webber's face. He knew what he wanted, what he was after, and he never wavered in his pursuit of the best deal for his clients. ”The offer is good, but we will be countering.”

My gaze flitted from my winegla.s.s to Amanda and then to Ryan.

”Whoa, wait, what's up with that face, Sterling?” Ryan's brow creased. ”That is not a happy face.”

”I have another film ready to go.” I looked toward Amanda. ”Something personal to us.”

”Cami agreed to direct The Lady's Regret?” Amanda asked.

I nodded.

”No wonder Daddy is in such a rush to make The Legend Kills,” Amanda said, taking a sip of her wine.

”Why am I the only one who didn't realize how much Dad hates The Lady's Regret?” I asked.

”Maybe because after Mom died you spent your senior year of high school absent and high?”

”Ouch,” Ryan said.

”It's a fair statement. I can take it.” I glanced over at Rhiannon. ”There were a number of personal losses that year and being a teenaged boy, in Hollywood, I did in fact do some things of which I'm not particularly proud, things that caused me to miss out on a couple of years.”

”Daddy totally spent the first year after Mom died drunk and raging about that script,” Amanda said.

”I didn't hear much-I had the music turned up loud in my room,” I said.

”I couldn't take it so I went to Gayle's place in Malibu,” Amanda said.

The rest of the dinner guests had gone silent. Five pairs of eyes stared at us. Each face held a slack-jawed look, as though they were watching a mini-series.

”What?”

”Just mesmerized by this healthy dialogue about parental dysfunction and death,” Ryan said. ”Really, you two should be the poster children for recovery.”

Amanda rolled her eyes toward the ceiling.

”No, seriously,” Ryan continued. ”Most times, if you lose a parent you go have another drink, get high and disappear for a year. Amanda, you had a big brother who went on a drug bender and you locked yourself in your room? You guys are lucky to be alive, much less functional. Statistics indicate that we should have lost one or maybe both of you.”

Those were sobering words and I looked from Ryan to Rhiannon. Her eyes flickered from Ryan and she met my gaze. Rhiannon was the reason-the only reason-I had survived. Everyone thought my survival was due to Gayle's help and for Amanda that was true. But for me? I survived because of what Gayle represented. She was Rhiannon's mother and Gayle represented a possibility and a hope that Rhiannon would someday return to L.A.

At seventeen and eighteen and even through college I hadn't realized that it was that hope that drove me to try and pull back from the brink. h.e.l.l, I doubt I'd truly known that until right this minute. But now as I sat here, across from the most beautiful and talented woman I'd ever met in this world, I knew. I knew that Rhiannon was the reason that I had survived, that I had worked hard and tried to make something of myself. I had wanted to be ready for when she came back to Los Angeles. Ready for the opportunity I had now.

”What are you going to do?” Ryan asked. ”Please don't tell me we have to make a Legend movie without you. I mean I like your dad, but Sterling, come on, the guy can barely function without you on set.”

”He may have to this time,” I said. ”He hasn't left me much of a choice. Either I go into prep on The Legend Kills and forget about The Lady's Regret, or you are looking at the former President of Production for Legend Films.”

”No f.u.c.king way,” Webber said, breaking the shocked silence that had descended on the dinner table. He crossed his arms over his chest. ”No way Steve s.h.i.+tcans your a.s.s.”

I lifted an eyebrow and eyed Webber.

”Okay, maybe, maybe, knowing Steve. But come on, you've got one of the best gigs in town and with that sweet-a.s.s perk list? Parties. Expense account. The ladies...” Webber's eyes drifted to Rhiannon and he clapped his mouth closed. ”Okay, maybe not the ladies, now, but, dude, you're not going to pa.s.s up backend points on a Steve Legend film to go make some pansy girly film are you?”

”Webber?” Amanda said and shook her head. We'd all become immune to the non-p.c. things that flew from Webber's mouth.

”Maybe,” I said. ”Maybe I am.”

An hour later I grabbed my keys and walked over to Amanda. She and Rhiannon and Lane were huddled on the sofa having a girly gabfest. I'd listened to Webber and Dillon and Ryan tell me all the reasons why I had to make The Legend Kills and yet none of their reasons were convincing. My gut told me to make The Lady's Regret. My gut told me I had to break free of Dad and that this project was the way to do it. The Lady's Regret had been Mom's project and written for her by Rhiannon's father. This was the film I was meant to make, and with the option set to lapse, if I didn't make The Lady's Regret now there would never be another opportunity to make the film. Apart from everything else, I owed it to Mom to get it done.

”I should go,” Rhiannon said as I approached. She reached for her phone and pressed her finger to an app.

”Uber will be here in fifteen,” Amanda said. ”I'd take you but I've had too much of this.” She lifted a bottle. ”Wait, Ryan is sober. Let me ask him. Ry-”

”No, please,” Rhiannon said. ”Uber is perfect.”

”You didn't drive?” I asked.

Her upturned face glowed in the candlelight. My gaze devoured her face and flitted down her body. She looked like an angel with her full lips and white-blonde hair that covered her shoulders. Simply standing in front of Rhiannon asking her whether she drove had made me hard. It was like I was seventeen all over again.

”I grew up in Europe. I'm used to not having a car. There was no need, really. I never got a license.”

”You're back in L.A., you'll have to get one now.”

She opened her mouth, but paused. Her eyes flickered back to her phone then to me. ”Perhaps.”