Part 15 (1/2)
”So did I.” He turned her in his arms and looked down into her rapt face. ”I love you, Ivy,” he said softly. And he kissed her.
Tears spilled from her eyes while she clung to him. The words ricocheted through her trembling body, a beloved echo that went on and on and on.
”You didn't say that.” She wept against his hungry mouth. ”You didn't, did you? I must have dreamed it!”
”I said it,” he breathed. His mouth touched her eyelids, closing them over the salty tears trickling from her eyes. ”You didn't dream it. I sometimes think I dreamed you. I loved you when you were eighteen, but I thought you were too young and I overreacted the first time I kissed you. I waited a few years and thought I'd try again, but I'd frightened you too badly and you ran to Ben.” He lifted his head and sighed bitterly as he searched her face. ”I thought you loved him,” he said somberly. ”That's why I stayed away after the funeral. I gave you a job, just so I could be near you, and spent night after lonely night trying to find ways to tell you how I felt.”
”Oh...Ryder!” Her voice broke and the tears rained down her face. ”I loved you...wanted you...lived for you. Ben knew and hated you, hated me, hated us both...!”
His eyes flashed wildly and his mouth was on hers, drowning out the words. He lifted her, too hungry to think about her condition as he fitted her body to his and kissed her with all the stored-up pa.s.sion of years. She loved him. She'd said she loved him!
”Didn't you know?” she moaned when he stopped long enough to let them draw shaky breaths.
”No,” he said unsteadily. His eyes searched her face with such love that she felt humble. ”I never dreamed you might care for me that way. In Paris, I knew I could make you want me, but it wasn't enough. I never meant to let it go that far, but it had been so long and I wanted you desperately. So desperately,” he breathed at her lips. ”I'm not sorry for it, but I wish we'd both known at the time what we felt for each other was mutual.”
”We know now,” she said achingly. ”Please marry me. I won't ever be able to say no to you again, and it will be such a scandal for mother to live through if we're just living together.”
Shock waves trembled through his body. He'd been tormenting himself with ways to ask her, and she'd beat him to the punch. He almost laughed out loud.
”Do you want that?” he whispered, gently teasing her. ”To be my wife. To live with me, always?”
”Yes,” she said fervently. ”I'll take such wonderful care of you, Ryder. I'll cook-well, Kim Sun and I will cook,” she amended, thinking how much she'd enjoy that, because she and Kim Sun got along so well together. ”And I'll look after you when you're sick and love you so sweetly at night.”
His heart ran wild. He searched her soft eyes and bent to kiss her with aching tenderness, shaking all over with the newness of loving and being loved, belonging to someone.
”I'll love you just as sweetly,” he breathed. His lips hardened insistently on hers and he held her closer, letting her feel his aching arousal. ”I'd hoped it would be warmer here,” he ground out, feeling the cold wind whip around them-a wind much too cold for the lovemaking he'd wanted to share with her.
”So had I,” she whispered. ”Ryder...we could park the car somewhere,” she began.
He lifted his head, smoldering inside, and looked into her lovely face. He wanted her beyond bearing, especially now, but he didn't want to spoil what they had. ”No,” he said after a minute. ”Not ever like that. I love you far too much to reduce what we share to a feverish interlude in the back seat of a car.” He eased her hips away from his with a rueful smile at her knowing look. ”And yes, I'm tempted. You can feel how bad it is for me.”
”It was that bad in Paris,” she recalled, coloring prettily.
”You don't really know why, do you?” he asked gently. He framed her face in his lean hands and nuzzled his cheek against hers. ”Ivy, since the day I realized I loved you, there hasn't been a woman.”
She drew back a little. ”Two years, you said,” she whispered.
”I lied.” He linked his hands behind her and swung her lazily from side to side. ”It's been five.”
”Oh, my goodness,” she burst out. ”No wonder...!”
”Yes. No wonder I couldn't hold it back.” He smiled slowly, with sinful delight. ”And you still don't know all of it.”
”I don't?”
”Ivy, why did you tell me you couldn't get pregnant?”
”Because I can't,” she said sadly, her dark eyes searching his. ”I never did with Ben. There's something, well, something wrong. Does it matter so much?” she asked plaintively. ”You said it didn't, but...”
He stopped swinging her and took her hands, gently pressing them to her flat abdomen. The look in his pale eyes was overwhelmingly tender. ”Feel,” he whispered.
She didn't understand. Her expression said so.
”The nausea,” he said gently. ”The drowsiness. Feeling tired. Hating the smell of bacon.” He smiled tenderly. ”I hate bacon. So does he.” His hands pressed hers closer to her body. ”We made a baby together in Paris, Ivy,” he said softly, watching her eyes begin to dilate, her lips part on an astonished breath.
Joy welled up in her like fire. She burst into tears and pushed herself close against him, shuddering all over as she clung to him, blind with ecstatic realization.
”You really didn't know, did you, little one?” he asked at her ear, laughing with utter delight. His arms contracted. ”So, yes, I'll marry you, Miss McKenzie. And it had better be quick, before you start showing.”
”I can't believe it,” she moaned. ”It's too wonderful. I never dreamed...” She drew back, her face worried. ”But what if I'm not?”
”What about that normal thing that women have once a month?” he asked, to test his suspicions.
Her jaw fell. ”Oh, my goodness. I thought it was all the excitement.”
His eyes had a devilish twinkle. ”It was all the excitement,” he said knowingly.
She hit his chest gently. ”I'll never live it down, if I am, and you knew before I did!”
He chuckled. ”No, you won't, that's for sure.” He kissed her gently. ”See a doctor. Get an appointment today,” he said. ”But whether you are or not-and I'm d.a.m.ned near positive you are-we're getting married. G.o.d, I love you!” he whispered fervently, and it was in his eyes, his face, in the arms that held her.
”I love you, too,” she whispered, drawing his mouth down to hers. ”But, oh, I hope there's a baby.”
Chapter 11.
And there was a baby. Ryder drove her to the doctor's-his company doctor's office-and waited with her until they were worked in. It was really amazing to watch him invent excuses to get a quick appointment, she thought breathlessly. In less than an hour, the doctor had all but confirmed their suspicions and ordered tests to substantiate them.
”I gather this is a wanted child,” he murmured dryly when they were in his office waiting for the results of his examination, Ivy sitting and Ryder kneeling beside her, holding her slender hand tightly.
”You don't know the half of it,” Ryder said, his voice husky with feeling as he looked at Ivy, smiling when she blushed.
”Well, I'll give you the name of a good obstetrician. You'll be needing prenatal care from now on. The tests are only going to confirm what I know from the examination, so we'll go ahead and set up the appointment.” He looked at them over his gla.s.ses. ”I gather this is one of those modern arrangements?”
”Oh, we're not at all modern,” Ivy a.s.sured him. ”We're getting married.”
”You might explain to her what five years of abstinence does to a man.” Ryder grinned. ”That's why she's pregnant before the ceremony.”
”Have you been away at war or something?” the doctor asked, chuckling.
”In love with her, and she was out of my reach,” he said, his expression poignant. ”I've got her now, though. She'll never get away.”
”She'll never want to,” Ivy a.s.sured him, oblivious to the doctor's very amused scrutiny.
They waited until the next day, until the tests came back positive, as the doctor had said they would, to tell Jean.
Ryder drove Ivy home from the office and led her into the living room, where one of Jean's soap operas was just going off.