Part 20 (1/2)
CHAPTER XIII
_SOCIAL TRAINING FOR FARM BOYS AND GIRLS_
We have been exceedingly slow in realizing the social needs of our children, in the usual instance depending on chance conditions to determine the matter for us. The city and the rural communities present a striking contrast in this respect. It does not seem possible that both can be right, while there is much to support the opinion that both are wrong. That is to say, in the city community the majority of the children are allowed to spend too much time in the company of others. As a result, they take on social manners and customs in a mere formal way and by far too early for the good of their character-development. The city ripens young life too fast. It produces the manners and refinements of adult life before the child becomes matured mentally. In the ordinary rural community there is not enough social experience for the young; and hence, a certain amount of crudeness, awkwardness, and lack of refinement tend to linger permanently in the character.
A HAPPY MEAN IS NEEDED
What seems necessary, therefore, is the establishment of a social life which will be a compromise between the excess of the city and the deficit of the country. So far as can be learned, very little has been achieved in the matter of establis.h.i.+ng just such a social order in the rural communities as will tend to develop the lives of the boys and girls in an ideal, symmetrical way. We may not feel very certain as to just how this ideal juvenile society should be constructed.
Nevertheless, an attempt will be made to sketch in this chapter a working plan therefor. Some may see fit to adapt it, while others may improve it through practice.
What especially needs to be thought of in the development of any normal young life is the problem of rounding out the character on all sides.
There are certain fundamental character-forming experiences and disciplines, such as work, play, recreation, and social intercourse.
Many parents seem to be possessed of the idea that they can develop their children through play and social training alone. Others seem to believe that hard work and plenty of it is all that is necessary for the development of a substantial character in the young. Still others appear to allow their boys and girls to roam at will and to indulge them only in the recreative experiences. But how indefensible the idea that anyone should try to find permanent joy and satisfaction through recreative experiences without first having had as their counterpart the experience of work and the responsibilities that pertain thereto!
So, again, it may be contended that there is a happy mean between the over-work and the absence of social experience so common in the farming communities and the lack of work and the extreme social excitement that so often obtains in the life of the city child.
A SOCIAL RENAISSANCE IN THE COUNTRY
There is becoming more and more apparent the necessity of not only a revival of the social life in the country, but also the demand for its reconstruction. It is especially to be desired that the reorganization be effected under the guidance of sound principles of psychology and sociology. That is, it must be based on the fundamental fact of the s.e.x instinct so prominent during the adolescent period, and the further fact of the imperative demand at this time for a large amount of social intercourse. How differently this point of view persistently held will shape the matter as compared with the older ideal of merely ”giving the young folks a good time”! Yes, the social life of adolescent boys and girls has its source in the s.e.x instinct then so predominant. It is not therefore to be viewed as a piece of superficial sentimentality, but rather as a profound law of nature.
As suggested by two or three of the preceding chapters, there may be organized a social center in the church, or other such centers may develop independently through the leaders.h.i.+p of some mature persons. But instances of this cla.s.s of effective organization are as yet few and far between. Meanwhile, the young are growing up and their present social needs are very pressing. Individual farmers cannot wait for neighborhood movements; and so the parents of the children requiring the social life must themselves take the initiative in the matter.
CONDITIONS TO GUARD AGAINST
Before proceeding to a detailed outline of various plans for supplying the social needs of rural young people, it may be well to point out a few of the pitfalls to be guarded against. In reference to the latter, it is not the purpose to advise parents to try to place their children in an exclusive social set. Far from that. The purpose is rather the converse; namely, to urge parents to attempt to build up good, clean characters in their boys and girls and yet permit the latter to mingle freely with common humanity. An aristocracy in the towns and cities is bad enough and a thing wholly out of harmony with the best and highest interpretation of our national life; but an aristocracy in the country neighborhood is an abomination.
But while the so-called best families must think of their young as growing members of the entire social community and not as belonging to an exclusive set, there is nevertheless great need of constant watchfulness in respect to certain evils that always threaten the lives of farmers' sons and daughters.
1. _The social companions.h.i.+ps of girls._--Of course it must be admitted that there is frequently present in the country neighborhood some vile or wicked young character whose influence is very pernicious. On one occasion this person may appear in the guise of an exemplary young man, smooth in manners, stylishly dressed, and apparently interested in the best affairs. But as a matter of fact, he may be secretly an agent for some infamous inst.i.tution in the city. The records show that thousands of country girls have been enticed away to the cities by such characters only to meet an untimely and awful fate. The parents of the country girl should therefore know who the young man is with whom she keeps company.
Usually it is a comparatively easy matter to test his worth. If he have no fixed local attachment in a home, and no permanent business relations in the community, he may be regarded with suspicion at least, and may be compelled to furnish evidence of his moral integrity.
Another type of the young country man unworthy of the company and companions.h.i.+p of the young woman is the one who is known by the men of the community as being habituated to the use of vile and indecent language, or to the practice of drinking intoxicants. If such be among his known characteristics, the evidence is decidedly unfavorable, making him unsuitable as a social companion of the country girl. It is reasonable to predict that he will never change his ways very radically, and especially that he will not develop into a desirable life companion for the daughter. Some good parents make the fatal blunder of allowing their girl to keep company with such a coa.r.s.e-grained young man simply because he is so ”good hearted,” and ”means well,” and the like.
To say the least, a depraved social taste will gradually develop in the girl's life if she continue in such company.
Another contamination for the country girl sometimes results from the depraved young woman who has drifted into the neighborhood. The girl herself will be in the best position to detect such a type, as the latter will be marked by her coa.r.s.e manners when in the presence of the girls, and by her practice of discussing obscene matters in private conversation with them. This is the situation in which the innocent young girl's mind may become forever poisoned and her wholesome faith in humanity entirely too much unsettled.
2. _Bad companions.h.i.+ps for boys._ Similar warnings as those given above need to be sounded with reference to the young country boys, and others as well. Farm boys are necessarily much in the company of men of very common tastes and low ideals. They hear not a little evil conversation and profanity, as it is used by such men. As a result, there will be need of much constructive teaching at home. Admonitions, warnings, and advice will be necessary.
In every instance it is well for the parents to remind the boy of the great interest they have in his welfare, of how deeply he may grieve them by taking up any of the evil practices in question, and of the high ideal which they hold in mind for his future.
Farm parents will need to keep up an intimate and frank exchange of ideas with their youthful son on the general subjects discussed in this chapter. They may ask him to repeat all he has heard and to relate all he has seen, good and bad, they then offering their corrections and admonitions. The especial danger is that the boy may acquire evil forms of speech, pernicious ideas for his secret thoughts, and a too low estimate of the worth of humanity. The vile companion is especially inclined to make the youth believe that there is no purity of character among girls and women--a most lamentable state of mind for a boy or a man of any age.
The boy in the country is not only very much in danger of having his mind contaminated by the evil speech and the evil misinformation mentioned above, but there is always the possibility of his being enticed by some older and depraved companion into the company of evil women. Strange to say, there are a few men who seem to plan deliberately this form of downfall for innocent boys and to regard the success of their vile plot in the light of a mere joke. It is perhaps a fault of society that such men are permitted to run at large. And it is especially the fault of fathers if such men keep company with their boys. No matter how excellent the family history, how well-born the boy may be, and how carefully he has been admonished, there is always some danger of his yielding to an evil s.e.x temptation--a situation which the parent should always be watchful about and ready to meet.