Part 21 (1/2)

”I want to go home!”

”Shut your yap, kid, or I'll shut it for you.”

Jimmy clamped on his cheek between his teeth but he couldn't stop crying. Thelittle man jerked around, then c.o.c.ked back his fist...

The scream was earsplitting, jerkingRia from the warm coc.o.o.n of deep sleep.Heart pounding at a frightening speed, she fumbled for the light, even as thehigh-pitched sound reverberated through the cottage.

Grady was already up and tugging on his shorts. An instant later, he wasgone, the weapon he'd taken from beneath his pillow in his hand.

”Oh, G.o.d,Jimmy!” she cried, even as she struggled to free herself from th.e.s.h.eet. In her haste, she tumbled to the floor, banging her elbow on thenightstand as she fell.

”Mama's coming,” she called as she somehow scrambled to her feet.

Grady reached Jimmy first. He'd turned on the light and tossed his pistolonto the top bunk. Half lying, half sitting on the bed, he was holding theobviously terrified little boy who was kicking like a wild thing, his browneyes round with terror.

”Let me go-o-o-o-o!”Jimmy shouted, his voice little-boy shrill. ”I want to gohome.”

Grady wrapped his arms around Jimmy's lanky body and brought his face closeto his. ”Jimmy, look at me, son,” he commanded in a low, insistent tone thatsomehow pierced the shrill cries. ”You are home, son. It was just a dream. Noone's ever going to take you away again.”

”They put tape over my mouth and I c-couldn't breathe. And then ... and then they made me drink awful stuff and then that guy Nikolai, he said I'd neversee my m-mommy again.”

Grady glanced her way, his eyes bleak, his jaw tight. ”Jim, look. There'syour mom. Right there by the door.”

Jimmy stopped struggling and jerked his head toward her.

”Here I am, baby,” she said in a soothing tone as she approached one slowstep at a time. ”Mom's here.”

His face crumpled, and he jerked away from his father. ”Mommy!”

Looking achingly like the baby he'd been once, he held out his arms. Shegathered him to her breast as he started to sob.

”It's all right, baby. It's all right.” She stroked his hair, ran her handsover his shaking little body. Finally, after endless, miserable months, herbaby was home again.

”D-Daddy didn't come. I w-waited and waited.”

Grady went white. ”I would have come, Jim. I couldn't find you.”

”Moira said you didn't want me 'cause I'm too dumb to learn to read andwrite.”

”That's not true. I swear it's not true.”

Grady looked destroyed.Ria's heart broke for him. Hehad found their son.”Sweetheart, Daddy wouldn't lie to you. He did everything he could to findyou. Tomorrow I'll show you the folder with the flyers he sent out every sixmonths. Every day he called other police departments and talked to lots andlots of people.”

She broke off to take a quick breath. ”We were so sad when you weren't here.For years before you were born, Daddy and I prayed to have a little boy justlike you. And when we did, we were so happy we just kept smiling and smiling,so you see we'd never, ever do anything to hurt you. We certainly wouldn'tsend you away.”

”But Moira said-”

”Jimmy, look at me,” she ordered. His lashes were stuck together, and hisinnocent mouth trembled, but he looked. ”Have we said anything since you'vebeen back with us that would make you think we don't want you?”

His shoulder aimed for his ear in his version of his father's quick,impatient shrug.Ria brushed back his hair and kissed his forehead. ”Sweetie,your daddy has been getting up at four in the morning and going to work earlyso he can come home early. So he could teach you to play croquet or how tofish. Having you back was the most important thing in the world to him. Toboth of us.”

She glanced at Grady's face and saw anguish beneath the stone. He needed tobe rea.s.sured as much as their son. Right now, though, the son they both adoredneeded her more. ”Jimbo, if you could choose right now, would you really wantto go back to California and live with Lance and Moira?”

His lashes flickered as he looked from one of his parents to the other. She saw the conflicting loyalties, the terror that he would be tossed out if hewasn't good enough or nice enough or quiet enough, and her heart ached.

Suddenly she was six and her mother was screaming obscenities as a strangerdragged her away.Ria had screamed, too, and tried to fight off the armsholding her. Her mother had been crazy, yes, but she'd been the onlysecurityRia had ever known.

Terrified and lonely,Ria hadn't been able to stop crying. Her foster motherhad finally given up and called social services, who'd found her another home.By thenRia had figured out that people threw you away if you cried, so shestopped. She had nightmares too, screaming in the dark. Her foster parentstried, but they had a new baby, andRia's screaming made the baby scream, too.

The social worker she'd had before Alice had lectured her sternly aboutcontrolling her emotions. No one wanted a little girl who was out of control.Besides, look what had happened to her mother when she couldn't controlherself. By the time she'd started college, she'd gotten very good atcontrolling herself.

Oh, G.o.d, she thought. What have I done?

”I want to stay here with you,” Jimmy said softly. ”If it's okay.”

”Very, very okay,” she said through the tears that were suddenly blindingher. She hugged him tightly, feeling love flood her. Finally he'd had enoughand started to wiggle. A good sign, she thought, letting him go.

”Since we're all up, why don't we have a snack.” She smiled at the glint thatappeared in Jimmy's eyes. ”Cookies and milk okay with you?”

”I wouldn't mind.” Jimmy dashed his hand over her face, then shot a hesitantglance at his father. ”Is it okay?”

”Sure thing.” Grady cleared his throat and smiled. ”Okay if I give you a hugfirst?”

Jimmy shrugged, a young male uncomfortable showing emotion to the leader ofthe pack. ”I guess, if you want.”

Riasaw the flinch deep in Grady's eyes. But the look on his face was pureHardin bluff. ”Hey, no problem,” he said as he ruffled Jimmy's hair instead.”We'll do it later.”

Looking relieved, Jimmy scrambled to his feet. ”I'll get the cookies,” hesaid, before racing from the room, his hair standing on end and the nightmareforgotten.

”Looks like our son is back,”Ria said with a shaky laugh.

”Looks like.” Careful to duck his head so he wouldn't bang the upper bunk,Grady stood up.Ria stood as well.

”He was only three, Grady. He didn't understand that daddies aren'tsuperhuman.”

His mouth slanted into a bitter line she'd seen only once-on the day they'dfaced a judge in divorce court. ”Especially his, right?”

”You did all you could. It's finished. Let it go.” His gaze froze, then seemed to bore into her. She felt his tension, saw his mouth soften.

”I would die for you if that would prove how much I love you,” he saidquietly.

”I don't want you to die.”

His grin flashed, a little c.o.c.ky. ”Works for me, honey,” he drawled beforeretrieving the.45 that was such a part of him. ”I'll just put this up.”

He started to step past her, but stopped when she put out a hand to touch hisarm. ”Are you all right?”