Part 27 (1/2)

'Skither lives his whole life, an unselfish warrior for the good, and dies by violence far from his home. Kamela does what is expected of her, Akar does what he feels in his heart, and both are punished and bereft. An eight year old boy---' He wept. 'An eight year old boy, Sylviana, makes the one mistake of his life..... And he is KILLED for it. While your G.o.d.....' All at once he let out a roar.

'WHO THE h.e.l.l DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!' he shouted at the walls.

'What gives you the right to make hard rules, and pa.s.s out life and death in judgment? You are not wise, you are not strong. YOU ARE NOT G.o.d! I reject this fear! I reject this lie! I will not serve the fearful creation of MEN!'

And suddenly the burden was lifted. He stood shaking, his face wet.

But in that brief moment when the life inside him had shouted back at the Night, rejecting it and all its works, he was free, and once more true to himself, to the G.o.d that was in him. His doubts remained, but he would not follow that tortured path one step further.

Sylviana went to him and embraced him, this time without reservation.

His grateful arms wrapped around her. He dried his eyes against her neck and shoulder, then stepped back, looking down.

'I'm sorry,' he said. 'I feel as if I've condemned us all.'

'Or saved us. Don't you see?'

'But if you don't believe, and I don't.....'

'I never said I didn't believe in G.o.d, Kalus. I just don't believe in religion. Faith is about Faith. Religion is about control.'

'But---'

'Listen to me, Kalus. You don't have to punish yourself to believe in something positive, something larger than yourself. You don't have to choose between h.e.l.ls.'

'But the Bible---'

'Was written, translated, and ALTERED by men. Saint Paul may have been a good man, but he never ever met Jesus; and I believe that ?Saints' Jerome and Augustine distorted Christ's words almost beyond recognition. Between them, and with lots of help from the Catholic Church---Jesus never said anything about chast.i.ty, or that the bodies G.o.d gave us were inherently evil---they set loose a fear of devils and d.a.m.nation that was the scourge of the western world for two thousand years: from the slaughters of Charlemagne, to the Inquisition and the Holocaust.

'?You will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.'

THAT'S what Jesus said, and THAT'S what I believe. There is truth everywhere---in Shakespeare, in d.i.c.kens, in YOU. You know as much as anyone, about your own life, infinitely more.' She softened, and put a hand to his cheek. 'Trust your heart, Kalus. That's what it's there for.'

He looked into her eyes, and the light of day came back to him. 'You are very wise. I should have come to you sooner.'

'Some lessons we have to learn for ourselves. You taught me that.'

'Do you think.....' He struggled again, before the question that lay behind all others. 'Do you think that you could ever. . .love me, Sylviana?'

'I'm beginning to think I could. Now go wash off that grime, and I'll show you.'

'Aren't you afraid---'

'Tonight you have to be afraid of me. Now go wash yourself, before I do it for you.'

He went to the basin, and as the water splashed across him, felt both body and spirit cleansed. From here forward, he vowed, he would choose life over spiritual death, love over fear. This life was the only one he knew, his mind and heart the only guides he would ever have in it.