Part 14 (2/2)
Louise was moody and preoccupied, but Dove's words made her smile.
”Let us ask him,” she said.
They quickened their steps and overtook the others. And when Dove, without further ado, had marched round to Ephie's side, Louise, left slightly to herself, called Maurice back to her.
”Mr. Guest, we want your opinion of the WALKURE.”
Confused to find her suddenly beside him, Maurice was still more disconcerted at the marked way in which she slackened her pace to let the other two get in front. Believing, too, that he heard a note of mockery in her voice, he coloured and hesitated. Only a moment ago he had had several things worth saying on his tongue; now they would not out. He stammered a few words, and broke down in them half-way. She said nothing, and after one of the most embarra.s.sing pauses he had ever experienced, he avowed in a burst of forlorn courage: ”To tell the truth, I did not hear much of the music.”
But Louise, who had merely exchanged one chance companion for another, did not ask the reason, or display any interest in his confession, and they went on in silence. Maurice looked stealthily at her: her white scarf had slipped back and her wavy head was bare. She had not heard what he said, he told himself; her thoughts had nothing to do with him.
But as he stole glances at her thus, unreproved, he wakened to a sudden consciousness of what was happening to him: here and now, after long weeks of waiting, he was walking at her side; he knew her, was alone with her, in the summer darkness, and, though a cold hand gripped his throat at the thought, he took the resolve not to let this moment pa.s.s him by, empty-handed. He must say something that would rouse her to the fact of his existence; something that would linger in her mind, and make her remember him when he was not there. But they were half way down the GRIMMAISCHESTRa.s.sE; at the end, where the PETERSTRa.s.sE crossed it, Dove and the Cayhills would branch off, and Madeleine return to them. He had no time to choose his phrases.
”When I was introduced to you this afternoon, Miss Dufrayer, you did not know who I was,” he said bluntly. ”But I knew you very well--by sight, I mean, of course. I have seen you often--very often.”
He had done what he had hoped to do, had arrested her attention. She turned and considered him, struck by the tone in which he spoke.
”The first time I saw you,” continued Maurice, with the same show of boldness--”you, of course, will not remember it. It was one evening in Schwarz's room--in April--months ago. And since then, I ... well ...
I----”
She was gazing at him now, in surprise. She remembered at this minute, how once before, that day, his manner of saying some simple thing had affected her disagreeably. Then, she had eluded the matter with an indifferent word; now, she was not in a mood to do this, or in a mood to show leniency. She was dispirited, at war with herself, and she welcomed the excuse to vent her own bitterness on another.
”And since then--well?”
”Since then ...” He hesitated, and gave a nervous laugh at his own daring. ”Since then ... well, I have thought about you more than--than is good for my peace of mind.”
For a moment amazement kept her silent; then she, too, laughed, and the walls of the dark houses they were pa.s.sing seemed to the young man to re-echo the sound.
”Your peace of mind!”
She repeated the words after him, with such an ironical emphasis that his unreflected courage curled and shrivelled. He wished the ground had swallowed him up before he had said them. For, as they fell from her lips, the audacity he had been guilty of, and the absurdity that was latent in the words themselves, struck him in the face like pellets of hail.
”Your peace of mind! What has your peace of mind to do with me?” she cried, growing extravagantly angry. ”I never saw you in my life till to-day; I may never see you again, and it is all the same to me whether I do or not.--Oh, my own peace of mind, as you call it, is quite hard enough to take care of, without having a stranger's thrown at me! What do you mean by making me responsible for it! I have never done anything to you.”
All the foolish castles Maurice had built came tumbling about his cars.
He grew pale and did not venture to look at her.
”Make you responsible! Oh, how can you misunderstand me so cruelly!”
His consternation was so palpable that it touched her in spite of herself. Her face had been as naively miserable as a child's, now it softened, and she spoke more kindly.
”Don't mind what I say. To-night I am tired ... have a headache ...
anything you like.”
A wave of compa.s.sion drowned his petty feelings of injury, and his sympathy found vent in a few inadequate words.
”Help me?--you?” She laughed, in an unhappy way. ”To help, one must understand, and you couldn't understand though you tried. All you others lead such quiet lives; you know nothing of what goes on in a life like mine. Every day I ask myself why I have not thrown myself out of the window, or over one of the bridges into the river, and put an end to it.”
Wrapped up though she was in herself, she could not help smiling at his frank gesture of dismay.
<script>