Part 16 (1/2)
”You already voted for me to get killed in a landslide! I can't die twice.”
”No, but I can vote for you twice. One of them has to be right.”
”You can do that,” said Norma. ”But we all get to make fun of you for being wishy-washy. Agreed?”
”Agreed,” said Melvin. ”So long as I get my points, I'm happy.”
”I'm voting for Vince,” said Marie. ”He's the person most likely to have to do something stupid to appease a rich client.”
”I'll buy that,” said Jorge.
Norma took count of votes again, with two votes going to Lottie, two to Bettany, and four to Vince, including Norma's. ”Actually,” she said with a wink to Melvin, ”I think Bettany is more likely. But I already gave her 'landslide,' and I wouldn't want to be wishy-washy.”
After HUNTING ACCIDENT came TAINTED BEEF. Debate was brief and the votes divided evenly between Sid and Marie, the two restaurant critics. After TAINTED BEEF came DRUNK DRIVER. This was followed by an awkward silence as everyone avoided looking at Jorge, except for Vince, who said, ”Well, obviously that's Jorge.” Norma gave Vince her most lethal scowl, but Jorge just shrugged.
”You can vote for me if you want to. I don't care. I'm sober. I've been been sober for three years, and I don't even own a car. I promise you, that's not how I die. Besides, it says 'DRUNK DRIVER' not 'DRUNK DRIVING.' Whoever it is is the victim, not the culprit.” sober for three years, and I don't even own a car. I promise you, that's not how I die. Besides, it says 'DRUNK DRIVER' not 'DRUNK DRIVING.' Whoever it is is the victim, not the culprit.”
Ultimately, three votes went to Jorge, three to Marie, and two to Vince.
After DRUNK DRIVER came RADIATION.
”But we all live so close together,” said Lottie, ”if there's some sort of nuclear accident, shouldn't we all all die of radiation?” die of radiation?”
”Maybe it doesn't happen for a long time,” Melvin suggested. ”Maybe only the last of us is still alive when the meltdown happens.”
”Or someone could go on vacation to someplace that has a reactor,” Norma offered.
Jorge disagreed. ”There's no reactor, there's no bomb. It's nothing nuclear at all. The machine's just being coy. There's always radiation. Solar radiation, electromagnetic radiation, microwaves, radio waves, whatever. A lot of them cause cancer. That's the death here. It's just cancer.”
”So then it's Bettany,” said Melvin. ”She spends the most time outside, so she probably gets skin cancer.”
”Geez, you sure are eager to kill me off, aren't you?”
”It's not my fault you lead a conspicuously dangerous life.”
”I don't see how any of us is more likely to die of cancer than the others,” said Jorge. ”I say we each just vote for the person on our left, and then we all get an equal number of votes.”
”In that case, I say we all vote for Jorge,” said Sid.
”Seconded,” said Bettany.
So everyone voted for Jorge. Including Jorge, just to be a good sport.
”You should be careful, Sid,” Norma said. ”You almost seem like you're enjoying yourself.”
”Maybe just this once,” he said. And he actually sort of was. Just this once.
Norma reached into the hat once more and pulled out the next death.
She unfolded the paper and read it.
She opened her mouth, but said nothing.
”Norma, what's wrong?” Vince asked.
”What does it say?” asked Melvin.
She looked up again. She looked at Sid. She pressed her lips tightly together, in a look that most of the guests would confuse for worry, but Sid knew it was pure irritation.
”It says 'PARTY GAME MISHAP.'”
Everyone was silent.
Then, Lottie: ”I don't get it.”
Melvin: ”It means someone could die right now. Playing this game.”
Marie: ”How?”
Melvin: ”I don't think I want to know.”
Lottie: ”Right now?”
Jorge: ”But that doesn't even make sense.”
Vince: ”It never makes sense.”
Melvin: ”Maybe the machine electrocutes one of us...”
Lottie: ”I don't want anyone to die.”
Bettany: ”Whose is it?
Melvin: ”Or maybe...I don't know. It could be anything!
Jorge: ”I know the machine likes to be vague and cryptic.”
Bettany: ”It's Sid, isn't it?”
Lottie: ”I don't want to see it happen.”
Vince: ”n.o.body's going to die.”
Jorge: ”But they always at least sound lethal. What's lethal about a party game mishap? That's not cryptic. That's the machine actively thumbing its nose at us.”
Melvin: ”The machine can do what it wants. I'm done.”
Bettany: ”It must be Sid. He hates these games.”