Part 20 (1/2)

So what are you going to do?

She listens as I outline my non-plan for running away: Take off and see where I end up.

Finally she shakes her head.

Stupid idea. You can't just run off without some idea of where you're going and how you'll get there. The thing is, after we talked about it last time, I started thinking about the best way to leave this stinking s.h.i.+t hole.

Does that mean she wants to go too? ”Really?” I hope she came up with something good. ”And ... ?”

Remember I told you about my dad's old girlfriend, Lydia?

Well, she lives in Henderson.

She told me to come visit any time.

We'll stay with her until we can find a way to get a place of our own.

She has thought this through!

A place of our own? Still ... ”Are you sure you want to go too?”

h.e.l.l yeah, girl. You can't go alone. Besides, there's nothing for me here. Adventure calls!

I checked it out and the bus to Vegas costs thirty-five bucks.

No big deal, right? Any way you could come up with maybe fifty? I've got a little stashed.

Enough for smokes and c.o.kes.

Where could I get fifty bucks?

The answer smacks me in the face.

She owes me a lot more than that.

I Leave My Stuff Go on home. No cops, no alarms.

No one missed me at all. Not even Gram, who's fixing dinner.

In fact, everything seems so normal it almost makes me wonder if I imagined what happened earlier.

I go over to Gram, give her a hug. ”Something smells good. We've sure missed your cooking around here! Where is everybody? Is Sandy home?”

If he is, how can I possibly go?

Gram keeps stirring her chili.

No. The tests they ran tired the little guy out. They're keeping him one more day, to be sure he'll be okay. Worry weights her sigh. He'll be just fine, though.

Guilt chews at me until a sudden whiff of Pine-Sol reminds me why I'm here. ”Where's Iris?”

Gram shakes her head. She and her ... her friend went out.

I doubt we'll see her tonight.

Perfect. She won't miss it until morning, earliest. By then I'll be all the way to Vegas. Now I need a way back out of here. ”Hey, Gram. I was invited to spend the night with my friend, Al-”

Probably should make up a name. ”Alicia. We're going to study for finals. Is that okay?”

Sure thing, hon. I'm glad you're finally making some friends. Her smile initiates a new round of guilt.

Especially considering that not long after I'm gone, she'll find out I already messed up on my finals. Oh, well. By then she'll have given up on me anyway.

The Kids Are in the living room, watching the b.o.o.b tube. They don't see me slip down the hall, and that's best.

I go into Iris's room. Top dresser drawer, beneath her underwear- yech!-there's a navy blue sock, where she stashes her cash.

I watched her do it once when she was too drunk to realize I was standing right there. Sure enough, it's here, stuffed with s.e.x money. I count out two hundred, which doesn't include whatever Walt paid her. Screw it. I take the whole wad-four hundred sixty-nine dollars. In its place, I leave a note: Not even close to what you owe me. I hate you.

”Bye, Gram,” I call, eyes stinging.

I ease out the door, into velvet night, chasing a glimpse of freedom.

When I Come Through the Door Alex is packed and waiting, rocking softly side to side in a nerve-fueled rhythm.

Wow. I've never seen her look so worried. ”Are you sure you want to do this?”

Her odd movement stills and she looks at me with s.h.i.+mmering eyes. I've wanted to run forever, but I was scared to run alone. I never told you the truth about Paul.

he's not my stepdad. Mom and him never got married.

When they sent her away, he let me stay with him, but only if I ... you know.

I have nothing here, or anywhere, except for what I have with you. Let's go before he gets home, okay?

The Half-Empty Bus Idles, preparing for departure.

The diesel fumes are strong, but the seats are comfy. No one cares about Alex and me in back, sipping rum from a water bottle. Before long, I feel zero fear. Zero pain.

I flip up the armrest between us, slip my hand into hers.

Heedless of any prying eyes, she kisses me, and I kiss back, inhaling her intoxicating scent.

My heart dances. My body, abused so viciously just hours ago, at last knows joy.

As the bus begins to roll, my lips spill words unspoken until now. ”I love you, Alex.”