Part 9 (1/2)

Alex keeps watching people walk by. She rarely looks you in the eye. Nah. No one special, not since Lydia boogied on down the road. Guess he has f.u.c.k buddies, though. Why?

”I dunno. It just came to me that maybe he and my mom should hook up or something.”

She doesn't miss a beat.

You kidding? You don't like your mom or what?

I laugh. ”Not much, actually.

But she's easier to deal with when she's got a man in her life.”

Really? Seems to me life is a lot easier without getting attached to someone. Too complicated.

”G.o.d, do you know my mom?

But she thinks having a guy around makes her important.”

Alex snorts. How old is she, anyway? Sounds like she still plays with Barbies.

”I doubt she ever played with Barbies. Just a s.h.i.+tload of Kens.” And Sams. And Bills.

But, as much as I think Alex is pretty okay, I'm not about to share too much information about Iris and how she brings in cash. Besides, maybe Iris would stop tricking for the right guy.

Maybe if the right guy came along, we could live a nice, normal life. However that's defined.

I Guess Nothing Says Moms have to be good people, though. I mean, look at Britney Spears. She might not be a complete wh.o.r.e, but she's not exactly a s.h.i.+ning example of motherhood. And, just down the block, a woman in baggy sweats yanks her little girl along, yelling, Hurry the h.e.l.l up, would you? The kid's bawling.

And then there's Alex's mom. Busted for robbing a liquor store with a gun.

All for another fix. A few hours of finding a way to forget everything. Alex included.

I hope I'm never a mom. But if I am, I'll make d.a.m.n sure my kids look up to me.

Speaking of Kids I really ought to get home.

Gram has a hair appointment this afternoon, so unless Iris suddenly figured out motherhood, Mary Ann is the only one there to take care of the little kids until I get home. ”Better go,” I tell Alex.

”Time to play mom. How 'bout a smoke for the road?”

She grimaces. At least my winner mother had the sense to get fixed.

You're gonna pay me back, right?

Pay her ... oh, for the cigs.

”Yeah, sure. I can 'borrow'

some from Iri-uh, my mom.”

Not sure why I don't want Alex to know I call her Iris.

Yeah, it makes her seem like less of a mom, but Alex knows she's not much of a mom anyway.

Anyone with eyes could guess it.

I Walk Up the Street Slowly, sucking nicotine into my lungs. Tastes like c.r.a.p, and I know if I don't stop it will kill me. But it satisfies some deep call. And what the h.e.l.l?

I don't want to live too d.a.m.n long.

Suddenly an ambulance screams by. Fear punches my gut. Without a doubt, I know exactly where it's headed. I throw the lit Kool into the gutter, start to run, choking on yellowish smoke.

I round the corner and sure as day, the square red truck is in front of Gram's, warning lights spinning.

Beside it, a police cruiser blocks most of the street, and another is parked farther up the road, routing traffic away. s.h.i.+t, s.h.i.+t, s.h.i.+t! I run faster, barely able to breathe.

Fricking cigarettes! I skid to a stop, try to take in what I see. Two paramedics kneel next to Sandy.

His little body lies in the street, unmoving. ”Is he okay?” I scream, trying to push closer, only to be stopped by a young police officer.

Give them some room. The little boy is breathing. That's all we know. Are you the mother?

”No. I'm his sister. But I-I-”

What else is there to say right now? ”Wha-what happened?”

Hit and run. His radio scratches some unintelligible information.

Hang on. I've got to take this call.

Your, uh, sister over there saw the whole thing. Why don't you talk to her? But stay right here.

Like I would go somewhere?

d.a.m.n me. Why wasn't I here?

Must be what he's thinking too.

Mary Ann Stands Sobbing On the sidewalk, eyes wide with fear. ”What happened?”

I struggle to keep my voice gentle.

He-I-Sandy was kicking a ball on the lawn. Pepper and Honey started to fight, and ...

when I tried to stop them, I guess the ball rolled into the street and Sandy ran after it and ...

I guess a motorcycle came down the street and ran over him and just kept going and ... and ... I was right there and I didn't mean- Oh my G.o.d, I'm so sorry. ...Oh my G.o.d, I'm so sorry... .