Part 22 (1/2)

”Do you mean to say that you swallow these monsters?”

”We think them fine eating,” Mrs. Adams replied.

”My lord,” said Mr. Dapper, turning to Upperton, ”I'm going to try one. I've made my last will and testament. Tell 'em at Almack's, when you get home, that Dapper committed suicide by attempting to swallow an oyster.”

”I will send Pompey for the coroner,” exclaimed Mr. Newville, laughing.

”'Pon my soul, madam, they are delicious. Bless me! It is worth crossing the Atlantic to eat one. Try one, my lord, and then you can torment the Macaronies[45] by telling them they don't know anything about fine eating,” said Dapper, after gulping it down.

[Footnote 45: The derisive term ”Macaronies” was applied to ladies and gentlemen who had visited Italy, and who upon returning to England aped foreign customs in the matter of dress.]

Lord Upperton ate one, smacked his lips, and testified his enjoyment by clearing his plate.

”I dare say, my lord, that you find many amusing things here in the Colonies,” remarked Mrs. Adams.

”Indeed I do. Yesterday, as I was smoking my pipe in the tap-room of the Admiral Vernon, a countryman stepped up to me, and said, 'Mister, may I ax for a little pig-tail?' I told him I didn't keep little pigs and hadn't any tails. I presumed he would find plenty of 'em in the market.”

Lord Upperton was at a loss to know the meaning of the shout of laughter given by the company.

”The b.u.mpkin replied if I hadn't any pig-tail, a bit of plug would do just as well for a chaw.”

Again the laughter.

”I expect I must have made a big bull, but, 'pon my soul, I can't make out where the fun comes in.”

”He was asking you first for pig-tail tobacco for his pipe, and then for a bit of plug tobacco for chewing,” Mrs. Adams explained.

”Oh ho! then that is it! What a stupid donkey I was,” responded Lord Upperton, laughing heartily. ”He wasn't at all bashful,” he continued, ”but was well behaved; asked me where I was from. I told him I was from London. 'Sho! is that so? Haow's King George and his wife?' he asked. I told him they were well. 'When you go hum,' said he, 'jes give 'em the 'spec's of Peter Bushwick, and tell George that Yankee Doodle ain't goin' to pay no tax on tea.'” Lord Upperton laughed heartily. ”I rather like Peter Bushwick,” he said. ”I'd give a two-pound note to have him at Almack's for an evening. He'd set the table in a roar.”

”My lord, shall I give you some cranberries?” Miss Newville asked, as she dished the sauce.

”Cranberries! What are they? I am ashamed to let you know how ignorant I am, but really I never heard of 'em before. Do they grow on trees?”

She explained that they were an uncultivated fruit, growing on vines in swamps and lowlands.

”'Pon my soul, they are delicious. And what a rich color. Indeed, you do have things good to eat,” he added, smacking his lips.

”I trust you will relish a bit of wild turkey,” said Mr. Newville, as he carved the fowl.

”Wild turkey, did you say?”

”Yes, my lord. They are plentiful in the forests.”

Again Lord Upperton smacked his lips.

”By Jove, Dapper, it is superb!” he exclaimed.

”Will you try some succotash, my lord?” Ruth inquired.

”There you have me again. What a name!”