Part 33 (2/2)
”Maybe you killed him.”
”Wait a minute. What's that noise?”
It was the automatic garage door opening.
”f.u.c.k!” Vinnie yelled. He ran for the stairs, slipped on the first step in the dark, and went head over a.s.s to the landing. He scrambled to his feet, threw the front door open, and aimed. I could hear wheels squeal and Vinnie slammed the door shut. ”d.a.m.n, p.i.s.s, s.h.i.+t, f.u.c.k!” Vinnie said, stamping around the foyer, stomping upstairs. ”I don't believe he got away! He slipped past me when I was reloading. f.u.c.k, f.u.c.k, f.u.c.k f.u.c.k, f.u.c.k, f.u.c.k!”
The f.u.c.ks f.u.c.ks being said with such vehemence, I was afraid he was going to pop a vein in his head. being said with such vehemence, I was afraid he was going to pop a vein in his head.
He flicked a light on and we both looked around. Lamps were smashed, walls and ceilings were cratered, upholstery had been torn apart by bullet holes.
”Holy c.r.a.p,” Vinnie said. ”This looks like a war zone.”
Sirens wailed in the distance. Police.
”I'm out of here,” Vinnie said.
”I don't know if it's a good idea to run from the police.”
”I'm not running from the police,” Vinnie said, taking the stairs two at a time. ”I'm running from Pinwheel Soba. I think it'd be a real good idea for us to keep this to ourselves.”
Good point.
We streaked across the darkest part of the yard and cut through the property behind Soba's house. Porch lights were going on up and down the block. Dogs were barking. And Vinnie and I were gasping for air, sprinting between bushes. When the car was just a front yard away we emerged from the shadows and sedately walked the distance. All activity was halfway around the block in front of Soba's house.
”This is why you never park in front of the house you're going to hit,” Vinnie said.
Something to remember.
We got in the car. Vinnie calmly turned the key in the ignition, and we drove off like two respectable, responsible citizens. We got to the corner and Vinnie looked down.
”Jesus,” he said, ”I've got a b.o.n.e.r.”
SUNLIGHT WAS PEEKING from between my bedroom curtains and I was thinking about getting up when someone knocked on my door. It took me a minute to find my clothes, and in the meantime the knocking turned to yelling.
”Hey Steph, are you there? It's Mooner and Dougie.”
I opened the door to them and they reminded me of Bob, all happy-faced and filled with goofy energy.
”We brought you doughnuts,” Dougie said, handing me a big white bag. ”And we have something to tell you.”
”Yeah,” Mooner said, ”wait until you hear this. This is so cool. Dougie and me were like, talking. And we figured out what happened to the heart.”
I put the doughnut bag on the kitchen counter and we all helped ourselves.
”It was the dog,” Mooner said. ”Mrs. Belski's dog, Spotty, ate Louie D's heart.”
I froze with a doughnut halfway to my mouth.
”See, DeChooch made a deal with the Dougster to take the heart to Richmond,” Mooner said. ”But DeChooch didn't tell the Dougster anything except that the cooler had to be delivered to Mrs. D. So the Dougster put the cooler on the front seat of the Batmobile, figuring he'd take off first thing in the morning. Only problem was my roommate Huey and me got to wanting some Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia at about midnight and borrowed the Batmobile for our quest. Since the Batmobile only has two seats I put the cooler on the back stoop.”
Dougie was grinning. ”This is so excellent,” he said.
”So anyway, Huey and me brought the car back super early the next morning because Huey had to be at work at Shoppers Warehouse. I dropped Huey off, and when I parked the car in Dougie's yard the cooler was tipped over and Spotty was chewing on something. I didn't think much. I mean, Spotty's always in the garbage. So I put the cooler back in the car and went home to watch some morning television. Katie Couric is like, so cute.”
”And then I took the empty cooler to Richmond,” Dougie said.
”Spotty ate Louie D's heart,” I said.
”That's it,” Mooner said. He finished his doughnut and wiped his hands on his s.h.i.+rt. ”Well, we've got to go. Things to do.”
”Thanks for the doughnuts.”
”Hey, no problemo.”
I stood in the kitchen for ten minutes, trying to come to terms with this new information, wondering if it meant something in the larger scheme of things. Is this what happens when you irreparably screw up your karma? A dog eats your heart? I couldn't reach any conclusions, so I decided to take a shower and see if that helped.
I locked the door and shuffled off to the bathroom. I got as far as the living room when there was another knock, and before I could get to the door it was opened with enough force to make the security chain kaching kaching into place and then break loose from its moorings. This was followed by cussing, which I recognized as coming from Morelli. into place and then break loose from its moorings. This was followed by cussing, which I recognized as coming from Morelli.
”Good morning,” I said, eyeing the chain, which was dangling uselessly.
”Not by any stretch of the imagination is it a good morning,” Morelli said. His eyes were dark and narrowed and his mouth set tight. ”You didn't go over to Pinwheel Soba's house last night, did you?”
”No,” I said, shaking my head. ”Not me.”
”Good. That's what I thought . . . because some idiot went in there and destroyed it. Shot the s.h.i.+t out of it. In fact, it's suspected there were two people having the gunfight of the century in there. And I knew you wouldn't be that f.u.c.king stupid.”
”Got that right,” I said.
”Jesus Christ, Stephanie,” he yelled, ”what were you thinking? What the h.e.l.l was going on over there?”
”Wasn't me, remember?”
”Oh yeah. I forgot. Well then, what do you suppose someone else someone else was doing in Soba's house?” was doing in Soba's house?”
”I imagine they were looking for DeChooch. And then maybe they found DeChooch and an altercation arose.”
”And DeChooch escaped?”
”That would be my guess.”
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