Part 10 (1/2)
”Louie D. He's a businessman, businessman, right?” right?”
”He's a real big businessman. Or at least he was. He died of a heart attack while DeChooch was making his pickup.”
”Maybe it was a bullet that caused the heart attack.”
”I don't think so. If Louie D was whacked we would have heard. That kind of news travels. Especially since his sister lives here.”
”Who's his sister? Do I know her?”
”Estelle Colucci. Benny Colucci's wife.”
Holy s.h.i.+t. ”Small world.”
I hung up and my mother called.
”We need to pick out a gown for the wedding,” she said.
”I'm not wearing a gown.”
”You should at least look.”
”Okay, I'll look.” Not.
”When?”
”I don't know. I'm busy right now. I'm working.”
”It's Sat.u.r.day,” my mother said. ”What kind of a person works on Sat.u.r.day? You need to relax more. Your grandmother and I will be right over.”
”No!” Too late. She was gone.
”We have to get out of here,” I said to Mooner. ”It's an emergency. We have to leave.”
”What kind of an emergency? I'm not going to get shot again, am I?”
I took the dirty dishes off the counter and threw them into the dishwasher. Then I grabbed Mooner's quilt and pillow and ran into the bedroom with them. My grandmother lived with me for a short while and I was pretty sure she still had a key to my apartment. G.o.d forbid my mother would let herself into my apartment and find it a wreck. The bed was unmade, but I didn't want to take time to make it. I gathered up stray clothes and towels and threw it all in the hamper. I barreled through the living room, back to the kitchen, grabbed my bag and my jacket, and yelled at Mooner to get moving.
We met my mother and grandmother in the lobby.
d.a.m.n!
”You didn't have to wait for us in the lobby,” my mother said. ”We would have come up.”
”I'm not waiting for you,” I said. ”I'm on my way out. I'm sorry, but I have to work this morning.”
”What are you doing?” Grandma wanted to know. ”Are you tracking down some insane killer?”
”I'm looking for Eddie DeChooch.”
”I was half right,” Grandma said.
”You can find Eddie DeChooch some other time,” my mother said. ”I have an appointment for you at Tina's Bridal Shoppe.”
”Yeah, you better take it,” Grandma said. ”We only got this one on account of there was a last-minute cancellation. And besides, we needed an excuse to get out of the house because we couldn't stand any more galloping and whinnying.”
”I don't want a wedding gown,” I said. ”I want a small wedding.” Or none at all.
”Yes, but it doesn't do any harm to look,” my mother said.
”Tina's Bridal Shoppe rocks,” Mooner said.
My mother turned to Mooner. ”Is this Walter Dunphy? My goodness, I haven't seen you in ages.”
”Dude!” Mooner said to my mother.
Then he and Grandma Mazur did one of those complicated handshakes I could never remember.
”We better get a move on,” Grandma said. ”We don't want to be late.”
”I don't want a gown!”
”We're just looking,” my mother said. ”We'll only spend a half hour looking, and then you can be on your way.”
”Fine! A half hour. That's it. No more. And we're just looking looking.”
TINA'S BRIDAL SHOPPE is in the heart of the Burg. It occupies half of a red-brick duplex. Tina lives in a small apartment upstairs and conducts business in the bottom half of the house. The other half of the duplex is rental property owned by Tina. Tina is known far and wide as being a b.i.t.c.h of a landlady, and the tenants of the rental almost always leave when their year's lease expires. Because rental properties are scarce as hen's teeth in the Burg, Tina never has a problem finding hapless victims.
”It's you you,” Tina said, standing back, eyeballing me. ”It's perfect. It's stunning.”
I was all decked out in a floor-length satin gown. The bodice had been pinned to fit, the scoop neckline showed just a hint of cleavage, and the full bell skirt had a four-foot train.
”It is is lovely,” my mother said. lovely,” my mother said.
”Next time I get married I might get myself a dress just like that,” Grandma said. ”Or I might go to Vegas and get married in one of them Elvis churches.”
”Dude,” Mooner said, ”go for it.”
I twisted slightly to better see myself in the three-way mirror. ”You don't think it's too . . . white?”
”Definitely not,” Tina said. ”This is cream. Cream is very different from white.”
I did did look good in the gown. I looked like Scarlett O'Hara getting ready for a big wedding at Tara. I moved around a little to simulate dancing. look good in the gown. I looked like Scarlett O'Hara getting ready for a big wedding at Tara. I moved around a little to simulate dancing.
”Jump up and down so we can see how it'll look when you do the bunny hop,” Grandma said.