Part 19 (2/2)
4.
Mary didn't leave her room until past one. Grady was gone, out job hunting.
Down the hall a slit of light shone under her mother's door. Mary heard a soap playing on the big screen TV.
Like the rest of the house, the kitchen was dark. The lone light was a glowing circle beneath the coffee pot. She carried a cup of black coffee to the table, sat in silence a moment, then smelled it. She couldn't bring herself to take a sip. It smelled horrible. As always.
She jumped when the phone rang, then picked it up.
”Mary?”
”Who's calling?”
”It's Robert. I mean, Professor Lieber.”
”Oh! What's up?”
”Do you have the afternoon free?”
Mary beamed. ”Absolutely,” she said.
5.
While awaiting her arrival, Robert changed clothes twice. Jenn giggled behind him. ”Hey, girl.”
”What are you doing?” she asked.
”Daddy's got to run a couple of errands and . . .” he trailed off, not knowing how to finish. He stroked Jenn's smooth, brown hair. Instead of smiling, she stared into her father's eyes. ”I've got to go somewhere. A friend is going to watch you.”
”What friend?”
”A student of mine,” he said, and the door bell rang. Jenn ran, bounding down the stairs.
As he came down, Mary looked up, smiled. ”Am I on time?”
”Any time was fine,” he said. ”You've met Jenn?”
Jenn giggled. ”Yup!” she screamed.
Mary nodded. ”Yup,” she said without a trace of a smile.
”I'll be back in a couple of hours.”
”Take your time,” said Mary. ”We'll girl-talk.”
Driving to Dan's, Robert felt washed-out.
The hands clutching the wheel, his hands, were unrecognizable to him: coursed with blue-green veins, raised tendons and gnarled bone, they were the hands of an elderly, arthritic man. The eyes in the rear view mirror were surrounded by blotches of pink and red, and seemed hollow in their sockets.
He was angry with his father, and he was angry with himself. Behind him were unrecoverable days, days he could have taken his daughter to a park, to a beach, to a movie, but so often he'd spent them hunched behind a screen, commenting on the art of long dead men, forgetting the people who lived with him and were wanting. Have I meant nothing? he asked himself. He couldn't answer.
Rolling by the ridiculously huge courthouse, he scanned the harbor and her blue-trimmed pleasure vessels, drove behind The House of Socrates, and pulled around front.
Dan was on the smoking bench, allowing free reign to the customers. His eyebrows arched, the lone distinctness on his never-ending forehead. ”You look terrible,” he said.
”Who's this man I'm ready to meet?”
”Are you sure you want to see him?”
”Give me a break.”
There was a glint in Dan's eyes, a dimple on the outskirts of his mouth. ”Excuse me,” he said. For a moment, he thought Dan was blowing him off, but he picked up the cordless phone, kept his back to him. After a moment, he said quietly, ”Hey Monty, sorry to bother you. He's here. Yeah, her son. Alright, thanks.”
Robert heard Dan's voice but did not recognize the words. He'd closed his eyes, willing his heart to slow, his circulation to smooth out. His hands were knots of pain. The beat of his life reverberated in his ears and he imagined the muscle in his chest-squeezing, releasing, the valves opening and closing, blood slipping in and out, forcing its way into the outer reaches of him, the tips of his fingers and toes, catching on bits of the disease and distributing it to all points. It was a river slowly eroding a poisonous bank, carrying it piece by piece into itself until they were no longer mere acquaintances, but lovers.
”Monty will see you.”
”Monty?”
”Get some paper,” said Dan, ignoring the question. ”I'll give you directions.”
”Sure,” said Robert, moving inside to find some paper. ”But who's Monty?”
”Shut up. You're off to see the wizard.”
6.
Mary and Jenn talked about everything over games of Checkers.
Jenn surprised her by both clearing the board twice on her and by bringing up subjects that seemed to be uncomfortably far down the road toward womanhood. But Mary did her best to explain things she knew of only secondhand, like marriage and love and death, and Jenn seemed to look favorably on her feeble attempts, happy that someone was attempting to spell out answers.
”You're good at this game,” she said, seconds after Jenn had demolished her.
Jenn only giggled. ”I know. Mommy taught-” and she stopped smiling.
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