Part 13 (1/2)

I lowered myself down to the rug, pulling him down with me. He settled himself on top of me, intensifying our kiss, hungry with his need. His hands found my b.r.e.a.s.t.s and he kneaded them gently through the linen of his s.h.i.+rt, placing kisses up and down my neck. I groaned in pleasure and pressed my hips up meeting his arousal, showing him my desire.

”I want you too, Devon,” I whispered, breathing heavily. I was frightened by the burning that I felt between my thighs, but I knew that I wanted more. I wanted him to make love to me.

Devon lowered his head down and bit my nipple through the fabric of his s.h.i.+rt, which I was completely naked beneath.

I squealed in response to the teasing bite. What an amazing, new sensation!

Devon looked up at me, a devious smile on his face.

”No tonight, la.s.s,” he said playfully nipping at my breast again through the fabric. He rose up above me and looked down at my face, green eyes intense with desire. ”We've both had a rather eventful day, and I want ye thinking clearly when ye decide tae take me tae yer bed.”

”I am thinking clearly,” I said firmly, and pressed my hips up against his pulsing groin. I knew that he wanted me, wanted me badly. He wanted me as much as I wanted him right now. I reached my hand up behind his neck and pulled him down towards me, and kissed him wantonly.

He growled low and deep in his throat and pulled away from me. His breathing was ragged and I could tell that he was hanging onto his last thread of composure to keep himself from giving in to my invitation.

”I told ye on our wedding night that I would ken when ye were ready tae become my wife in every sense of the word, and Kate, I feel what it is between us growing, growing stronger each day. I'll no let myself take ye tonight when yer no in a clear state of mind.”

”I'm fine, Devon. Promise.” I said trying to a.s.sure him. At this moment, there was nothing more that I wanted than for him to quell the burning, the desire that I felt for him deep within my belly.

”It kills me tae tell ye no, but Kate, the answer is no tonight. We've both had a traumatic day, and I willna allow ye tae take this decision lightly,” he said, eyes challenging me. ”I want ye more than anything that I've ever wanted in the whole of my life, but I want the first time between us tae be perfect. I'll no be persuaded otherwise, no matter what womanly charms ye try tae persuade me with,” he said, palm still cupping my right breast, thumb teasing my nipple.

I pressed my hips up against his erection one last time knowing that my ”womanly charms” were futile against his steadfast will.

”You have amazing willpower, Husband,” I said, kissing his neck and whispering into his ear.

”I told ye already that yer charms willna work tonight, and I'm a man of my word. Although, I'd love tae oblige ye,” he said, pressing back against me. He leaned down and kissed me solidly once more. Then he pulled himself away from me, standing up slowly. ”If ye could turn away, sae as tae protect my modestly, I think that I need to take a quick dip into that tub. I'm counting on the water being freezing cold now, as I have a present need tae cool off considerably.”

I turned away and giggled, hearing the swish of his kilt hitting the flagstone floor and the splash as he lowered himself into the now cold water of the bath tub.

”Whooo!” he exclaimed, sinking into the water and leaning back against the side of the tub. ”I think ye'll be the death of me, woman,” he muttered. ”Now could ye help me out by putting on yer dressing gown over my s.h.i.+rt? Ye look sae d.a.m.n beautiful wearing my s.h.i.+rt that it's about tae drive me mad. Please?” he insisted, gritting his teeth from the cold of the water and from the effort that it took to quell his desire.

”Actually, I was thinking that it is getting rather toasty in here, I thought that I might just take this off to cool down a little,” I said teasingly, beginning to pull the tails of his s.h.i.+rt up to expose the skin of my upper thighs.

Devon groaned and rolled his green eyes heavenward. He was a tortured man. He took a deep breath and slid slowly down the side of the tub until he was completely submerged beneath the cold water. I knew that he couldn't stay down there forever, so I walked over to the tub and waited for him to resurface.

His head slowly broke the surface of the water, and his green eyes locked with mine instantly.

”As you wish, Husband,” I said sweetly, bending over and planting a chaste kiss on his now chilly lips. As I bent over, the neckline of his linen s.h.i.+rt that was way too big for me hung down, giving him a perfect view of my naked b.r.e.a.s.t.s and everything else that was beneath the s.h.i.+rt. I leaned over the tub, showing him what he was missing out on for just a few seconds longer than was necessary before I turned to go in search of my dressing gown.

He groaned again and I heard a splash as he slipped beneath the surface of the chilly water once more, blowing out bubbles of frustration underwater.

Chapter Twelve.

An hour later, covered from neck to ankles by my thick dressing gown, I stood behind Devon with an enormous pair of deadly looking scissors in my hands. The scissors were leaden in my hand. I gauged their weight as the firelight glinted from their silvery blades. As if standing outside my body, I willed myself to do it. I grasped a lock of chestnut hair between the fingers of my left hand, noticing how pale my skin was in contrast to the dark hair. With my right hand, I raised the weight of the scissors so that the blades surrounded the hair, poised and ready for me to make the first cut. My fingers applied pressure to the hinge of the scissors and they deftly sliced through the hair with an almost silent whoosh. I watched numbly as the length of hair fell lifeless to the flagstones and again, I felt the unwelcome weight of the scissors' cool metal against my skin.

”It's just hair la.s.s, ywe fas.h.i.+ng about as if it were a funeral!” Devon's voice broke my pensive silence. In his effort to make light of the situation, he realized almost immediately that ”funeral” may not have been the wisest choice of words, and changed course.

”It will grow back, ye ken,” he encouraged.

”You know how much I love your hair. I just a I just can't.” I let the scissors go slack in my hand. Devon gathered me in his arms and settled me on his lap, trying his best to soothe away my sudden onset of tears. I knew that my tears were over much more than just giving my husband a haircut.

”Ye ken that I must go, Kate.” The words fell silently between us. He took my face between his hands and wiped away my tears with his thumbs. ”Ye canna cry, la.s.s. Don't do that to me. It breaks my heart tae see ye so.”

”And if you are killed?” I questioned urgently, the scissors still heavy between my fingers. I silently wondered what I would do without him. I couldn't bear the thought of my newfound safety and security being taken away, causing me to be alone again. Dread filled the pit of my stomach. What if my father's men came inquiring about me while Devon was gone? What if Katherine Berks.h.i.+re's family stopped by for a visit? The possibilities were disastrous and endless as they terrorized my thoughts.

”I'll not die on ye la.s.s. I promise. I've been to battle many times and every time I've returned, all in one piece. I promise, now that I have someone to fight for, someone waiting for me, there is nothing that can keep me from coming home tae ye,” he willed me to believe him.

”And that, love, is another reason why ye need to cut my hair. If I'm to return to ye safe and sound, I canna have hair in my face while I'm fighting. If ye won't do it Kate, I'll have to. Might not look sae pretty, but.....”

I silently rose from his lap and began cutting his hair, dark clumps of it were falling to the ground as I worked with methodical proficiency. I tried not to think about why I was doing this, and focused on making the rough haircut look as best as it might, given the circ.u.mstances. I cut the hair at the base of his skull very short, exposing new, baby white skin underneath the shortly cropped hair. I ran my fingers across the base of his head, enjoying the st.u.r.dy construction of his body.

It was hard to accept the reality that people wanted to kill my husband, so strong and smart and beautiful that he was. And more than that, he was mine and I could not accept the possibility that I might lose him so soon.

The newly cropped hair felt foreign beneath my fingertips. Devon caught my hand, as if he was reading my thoughts. He turned in the chair and whispered, ”Thank ye, love.”

His honeyed words unnerved me again. When he called me ”love” my knees wobbled.

Does he love me?

Running a quick, exploratory hand through his hair, his eyes met mine, trying to convince me again that all would be well. He rose from the chair and enveloped me in his strong arms. He gently guided my face to his bare chest, and rested his chin atop my head and held me close.

”We leave at first light tomorrow,” he whispered into my hair.

I dropped the shears to the floor and wrapped my arms around his waist. I looked up and my blue eyes met his green.

”I can't bear you leaving,” I said, reaching up and tracing the line of his jaw, his stubble scratchy under my fingers. Fire grew deep in my belly as I took him in, he was so masculine, so perfect, so Devon. My fingers grazed across his mouth, pausing on his lips.

He kissed my fingertip, and then pulled my mouth towards his.

My lips were searching, desperate beneath his. His tongue dueled with mine, hungry and persistent. I raked my fingernails across his bare chest, leaving marks that would claim him as mine.

”Make love to me,” I demanded, pressing my body against his, tormenting him. I knew that he wanted me badly, and I felt his erection pressed firmly against his leg. He groaned against me in response, muscles tense with desire.

His lips arched over mine, possessing me, claiming me as his own. His hands were rough as they held me close to him, roving over my b.u.t.tocks and across my b.r.e.a.s.t.s. ”No,” he whispered, it came out as a growl as he forced my body away from his.

”Why not?” I said insistently, hurt by his refusal, and feeling more and more pathetic for begging him. I could tell that he wanted me as much as I wanted him. My stare was intense as I examined his face, his breathing was ragged and his face was flushed from my kisses. ”I need this from you in case you don't come home. I need this part of you to keep.”

”I said no, Kate,” his eyes stern, challenging me not to argue with him as he raked a hand through his hair. I could tell that the sensation was a strange one. He had always raked his hand through his long hair when he was nervous, and now said hair was gone. ”I want ye sae bad that I'm fit to explode with the wantin' of ye, but we can't do this tonight.”

”Then give me a good reason why we can't,” I demanded, confused. My body ached for him, and I could tell that it took every thread of control that Devon had to keep himself away from me. He wanted me too. I wanted to make love to him, to have something to tie me to him forever just in case his didn't make it back to me alive. I wanted to make love to him so that I didn't miss the chance.

'”Do ye ken how hard it is for me tae tell ye no? Can ye no see how ye affect me?” he asked, fingers skimming over the skin of my neck. His eyes were hooded, and he looked tortured.

”Then don't fight it anymore, Devon,” I said, taking his hand and kissing his knuckles.

Devon pulled me close and spoke into my hair, ”I plan to fight like h.e.l.l to return to ye, and if I ken that this is waiting for me when I return, there is nothing that will keep me from coming home tae ye, Kate,” he said heatedly, eyes imploring me to understand. ”I want ye sae bad that it's about to kill me.”